Holden didn’t even have to check the time to know it was exactly 3:27, as the tell tale scream of the oncoming train reverberated through the previously calm woods. He saw it as if in slow motion as the boy lifted his arms out to his sides and began to lean forward, slowly, as if suspended there. He wondered if this is what Apollo saw in the seconds before Icarus fell.
A scream may have left his lips, maybe, Holden wasn’t sure, but he was sure that something had taken over his body and suddenly he was lunging across the leaf-covered ground that separated them, his fist curling tightly into the back of Icarus’ green hoodie. Knuckles white, Holden wrenched them both to the ground. He landed harshly on the dirt, his breath being knocked from him as Icarus’ head landed right above his heart with a pained groan and he should have known then that he was totally and completely fucked.
~~~
In a two square mile town bordered by mountains on every side, one car tunnel the only way in or out, there are not a lot of places to run. Which means when Holden Mezanotte and Adrian Forrester find their lives colliding at breakneck speed, there is nothing they can do to stop it. Aided by their friends and the eccentric town they grew their roots in, Holden and Adrian will battle depression, homophobia, and all the heartaches of growing up.
This coming of age tale explores the challenges facing two queer teenagers in a world in which hate seems to win. But the small New Jersey town of Suburbia is a world of its own.
~~~
Trigger warnings for suicide attempt, mentions of suicide, and depression. Stay safe.
For a brief moment this weekend the world seemed to pause as Beyoncé released yet another riveting album. A lot of the attention seemed to focus on Jay-Z.
But far greater than the unveiled truth of Jay-Z’s alleged cheating scandal, is the unveiling of Beyoncé’s own truth: the alter-ego of the once powerful and unabashedly seductive “Yonce” was shattered revealing a vulnerable side to the mega star.
It was in the whispering way she spoke that punctured my own thoughts about love, loss, forgiveness and the idea of carrying on tradition, both good and bad. In the poetic words taken from Warsan Shire I heard Beyoncé’s truth abound.
“In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3AM and lie to me…The past, and the future merge to meet us here,” Beyonce said in Intuition.
Is it tradition that the men in her family cheat? Is it also tradition for the women in her family to accept it?
A closer listen to Beyoncé’s LEMONADE reveals the beautiful, yet sometimes painful truths about her own womanhood that she has unknowingly inherited as tradition.
On Facebook a friend of mine wrote, “I have never, ever, ever, ever been taught by my mother that it was okay to stay with a cheating man.”
While it might be easy to interpret Beyonce’s words as approving of infidelity or being accepting of abuse, I’d like to think there is something deeper we can all take from her.
A larger theme that pervades most of Bey’s work is the relationship between mother and daughter. Unknowingly, we walk like our mothers; talk like our mothers; even our bodies mold into the shapely curves of our mothers.
But what else have we inherited from her?
I, for one, have inherited the cautious and fearful persona of my mom – at times afraid to take risks and have suffered because of it.
For many, we replicate the love that we have been given – or not been given. So yes, unconsciously, we love like our mothers loved us and how she loved those around her.
Were there times you heard your restless mother endure tireless nights pacing up and down or cleaning the kitchen at 2 in the morning?
Were there times when your father would sing the praises of a “close family female friend”, but that same name would reduce your mother to grunts and groans from the back room?
What did you take from your mother’s groans? Was it interrupted as passive, uncaring, or blatant disregard?
In this personal admission of family tradition, Beyoncé shares a painful reality about herself and the women in her family that while both strong and beautiful, they endured hurt enacted on them from the men they called husband.
“You go to the bathroom to apply your mother’s lipstick. Somewhere no one can find you.You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face,” Beyonce spoke during Accountability.
While she adored and idolized her mother’s beauty and grace, she also became all too familiar with her mother’s unhappiness.
The magical bond that exists between mothers and daughters is often nurtured in the unspoken and learned behaviors that shape a girl in her girlhood and later stick with her through her womanhood.
So did her mother teach her to accept infidelity? Certainly not. But mother’s give lessons although a lesson isn’t being taught.
And in this quiet moment, where a young and impressionable Beyoncé was watching her gracefully postured mother ready herself with make-up, she also recognized a faint sadness.
“I tried to change. Closed my mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier,” Beyoncé said in Denial.
This became her norm. This became a part of her definition of a wife and a mother.
Carefully through the album, we witness a broken and tireless Beyoncé break these traditions she once held steadfast.
“Baptize me,” she said in Forgiveness, “If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious…Are you thankful for the hips that cracked? The deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken.”
Her commitment to breaking the “curse” is the true take away from Lemonade.
The learned behaviors of our fathers and mothers don’t have to define us or instruct our future steps.
Beyoncé’s ability to recognize and reconcile the truth of her family and what she has accepted as normal, gave her the key to freedom that she needed to heal from the infidelity and the hurt endured from it.
In the words of Marianne Williamson, “When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.”
Through our own freedom or even in breaking traditions we have come to know as the only way to live, we can forge a new way of being, not only for our daughters but for other girls and women who watch us and learn from us.
Started writing a short story earlier and the first few paragraphs feel SO MUCH like the opening paragraphs of a d&d//other tabletop RPG campaign…and I realised that I don’t care?! Let whoever reads it assign these characters with classes and races! Let them make full blown character sheets for these little figments of my imagination!
TRAITS:Paladin of the Vale Knights, Adviser to the Northern Vale, Mentor of the Champion
STRENGTHS: Knowledgeable and Influential
WEAKNESSES: Tradition and Dismissive
EXTRA: The Vale Knights are the only humans who still know True Speak, although it is learned rather than inherent and limited
FIRST IN TEXT INTRODUCTION;
The first time Connor had stepped foot in the Valelands, his mentor, Harlas had been there to greet him. Safety was what the man had given him when he was younger, with his neat beard, large hands and gruff assurance; the only adult in Connor’s life who had ever looked at him like he was meant for something.
It was Harlas who greeted Connor whenever he awoke in a cold sweat, nightmare fresh in his mind. It was the echo of Harlas’s voice that threatened to pull him under.
Your quest is complete, Champion. Well done. He would say, and Connor would lose all air because he knew what was going to happen next, had lived through it time and time again in his dreams. He knew the reward a Champion recieved for completing their quest.
Let us take you home.
They had never lied to him, Connor supposed. But they had known– they should have known– that after everything, how could home be somewhere they were not?
I dress your name as if a wound, with the delicacy of someone who knows how much it can hurt to move. I whisper it with caution, as if there is no more room in my throat except for that of air. Ocean Vuong said freedom is nothing but the distance between a hunter and its prey, and with each broken step I’m learning that love does nothing but eat, and tear at these threads
Warren Cougar has always been passionate about outer space and the beings that supposedly live far beyond the realm of his knowledge. He works for an organization that deals with the possibility of the otherworldly, after all.
And then an alien by the name of Orthrive’poliea crashes into the lake near Warren’s cabin. Everything he’s dreamed about has become real, and now faces the likelihood of becoming a lab experiment at the grotesque hands of ETHOS.
Driven by his virtues and an instant powerful, enigmatic affinity for Thrive, Warren puts his life at risk to separate himself from ETHOS—to keep Thrive from falling into their clutches. It’s the right thing to do.
But when the journey toward Thrive’s freedom is further endangered by a looming threat far out of either of their control, the fight for survival doubles, and the chances of success fall sharply away. Whatever the right thing happens to be, it begins to look like the one thing that would break Warren’s heart the most.
Within the Thriving series, you’ll find
LBTQ+ representation a diverse cast of characters disabled characters and neurodivergence an action-packed love letter to both classic and contemporary sci-fi a slow-burn between the two main characters
A quick summary of the first five books (the M31Arc)—
The dramatic collision of Orthrive’poliea’s vehicle with a nearby lake upends Warren Cougar’s life more than he ever expected. Along with conspiracies, intergalactic war, and waking up two centuries in the future, he has to survive a hostile alien army and a semi-omnipotent sentient darkness doing everything in their power to destroy Earth and the rest of the Milky Way—and Thrive’s native galaxy, Andromeda. Navigating their way through seemingly endless battle after seemingly endless battle, Warren and Thrive also find they must navigate themselves as well as their growing relationship with each other.
Book two, Thriving: Destiny, will be out on June 1st, 2022*!
*subject to minor delay due to self-publishing
Information for writeblrs below the cut (which may not work for some)!
Hi! So if you’d like to follow my writeblr, where I do tag games and make regular posts about the process of writing this series and occasionally post excerpts, feel free to do so at @spacetimewraithwrites! Otherwise, please ignore this.
“I don’t think change is such a bad thing. We grow up, we learn new things, we experience new feelings, and we change. That’s just part of life, change is good and change is needed.”
“Always search for both the good and bad in people. Because if you’re only looking for the bad qualities within someone, that’s all you’ll ever see in them.”
“The eyes follow the heart. In other words, though you might not realize it, the person your eyes so effortlessly find and admire in a crowded room, is the person that has your heart.”
These can be taken as both platonic and romantic!!
1. Villain realizes that Hero’s superior had been abusing them, and decides to take matters into their own hands
2. Whatever tf Doctor Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus had going on
3. Villain aims a gun at Hero and fires. Hero flinched, only to realize that Villain shot the other villain about to strike them from behind.
4. Hero has Villain on knifepoint, but stabs the blade into the wall beside Villain’s head instead.
5. Villain sneaks extra food to Hero’s cell when they were being held captive in the main villain’s lair
6. Villain had once saved Hero’s life when they were kids but has no recollection of it, while Hero immediately recognized Villain as their childhood savior.
7. Hero and Villain runs into each other during a normal day while grocery shopping, and both aren’t sure what to do, because are we supposed to fight?? But it’s our day off and we’re not in a mission tho?? But that’s my enemy right there, I can’t just stand here and do nothing?? But if I attack first it’ll seem rude-
8. Hero and Villain being ex-childhood friends
9. Even worse better, EX-LOVERS
10. Villain helping Hero escape from the evil lair, but then getting punished and tortured by the main villain for it.
11. Grumpy Hero and sunshine Villain. That’s it.
12. It’s always badass female hero x morally gray male villain WHERE TF IS OUR SOFT MALE HERO X MORALLY GRAY HOT LADY VILLAIN
13. Or just make them the same gender and let the gays win
14. Or just yeet gender and make them non-binary that works too
15. Hero and Villain looking so so similar that people always mistake them as siblings, which enrages them both
16. “I am NOT related to this idiot-“ // “WELL AT LEAST I DIDN’T TRY TO DESTROY A WHOLE CITY”
17. “…and that’s how my mom abandoned me and I ended up in the evil side.” // “Ight screw prison, I’m taking you to therapy. I got the bills covered dw.”
18. Villain burning Hero’s home like their boss ordered them to, but then changing their mind and dragging an unconscious Hero out of the burning house at the last minute while cursing to themselves
19. “You shouldn’t have helped me.” // “Oh, so you want me to throw you into your burning house again, you ungrateful bish??”
20. Villain sacrificing their life to help Hero survive and escape, but Hero never knew about it because they weren’t there and nobody had the heart to tell them
21. Hero and Villain having the same religion and somehow going to the same church/temple/mosque, therefore always meeting there and it takes every ounce of their self control to not start a brawl in their praying spot
22.But they fought once anyway and they were permanently banned
23. Hero and Villain bonding over a common favorite animal
24. But the fighting again a second later over who’s gonna adopt the animal
25. “What do you MEAN you wanna adopt this cat- you’re too busy protecting the city and shiz, you won’t have time for it!” // “Well at least I don’t rob banks for a living-” // “WELL AT LEAST I CAN BE USEFUL AND ROB SOME CAT FOOD FOR IT AND BE A GOOD PARENT”
The biggest cliches are actually the least cliche since everyone avoids them like the plague.
Have an idea for your story but it’s too cliche? Nothing is too cliche. Things are cliche because people can’t get enough of that shit. Go and make that bitch the hugest cliche anyone has ever fucking seen and I will fully endorse it.
“I feel as though I am a collection of people who never existed, but wanted to, each at odds with the other over matters of meaning and life pursuit, each clamoring for my undivided attention.” - d.c.
