Since I’m not an establish patient anywhere the doctor’s office I called couldn’t get me in until October 8th, and my insurance is changing October 1st and I won’t be able to see them. So now I have to wait until October to even make an appointment. Which is ok, but I couldn’t go that long not knowing hard far along I was. So we paid for an ultrasound at an outside location. The tech measured the gestational sac and crown to rump length and they both estimated me at 6 weeks. This could very well change, but he said it’s a good indication since both measurements were giving the same date.
So that gives me a approximate due date of May 8, 2019. Bill’s dying for them to be born on the 4th and have a Star Wars baby. And as I am typing this out I feel a little tickle of excitement, which has been lacking so far.
We got to hear the heartbeat, which was 117. Kennedy’s was 127 at the first ultrasound so I don’t think that’s an indication of the sex yet. Here is some pictures of the little tiny squish.
**NOT A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT**
This was two years ago. How was this two years ago. My baby boy Liam who didn’t get to come home. The only parts of him the exist are in the few photos we got. I was so unhappy being pregnant. Liam was my lightning baby. Lightning rarely strikes twice and he was an unexpected miracle. But I was sick and exhausted and scared and I didn’t appreciate it while I could. I took hearing his heatbeat for granted and I didn’t realize it until we couldn’t hear it anymore. I have so much regret over that time. I couldn’t have known, and obviously being happy isn’t something you can control, but I was so terrified about loving another child enough. I worried that I didn’t have room in my heart. I wasn’t ready to share myself with any child besides Kennedy. And in the end I was so wrong. There was more than enough of me for both my children. When I held him I was bursting with love. My heart had so much room for him and I’m thankful for that, because that’s where he lives now.
