Time for some extremely funny news that feels fake but isn’t! In case you missed it:
Today on the almost-anniversary of the rebellion featured in Les Mis, the official Les Mis musical twitter account decided to celebrate by…….tweeting an enthusiastic endorsement of the Queen. This is despite the fact that the primary goal of the rebellion in Les Mis was to eliminate monarchy. Despite the fact that all the rebels in Les mis despise monarchy as an institution and consider it inherently evil/useless/tyrannical.
It feels like satire! The fact that they used an illustration of a poor starving child who in the novel symbolizes the Suffering of the French People under tyrants and tried to turn it into a piece of unironic pro-monarchy art is just? (???)
There’s something to say here about how everything political in Les Mis gets stripped away when it becomes a product for mass consumption, including the now relatively popular political belief that monarchy is a Bad form of government. Like the original novel DOES have issues with being overly middle-class/moderate at points— but there many aspects of the book that are radical and anti-authoritarian, and those aspects are always the first things to get sanded away. (See also: the way Les mis adaptations often portray police as Good Heroes fighting for Justice, which is the exact opposite of the ACAB point the book was going for )
But even putting aside all the political stuff—— the reason this fails is also because it’s Bad Branding? XD. If we’re gonna treat Les mis as a brand (ugh), then that brand is not about licking the monarchy’s boots. Les Mis’s brand is about the exact opposite of that. The kind of Jubilee joke I’d expect from a big corporate Les mis twitter account that understood its brand would be something like “Looks as if we haven’t got around to overthrowing that monarchy yet! But there’s still time!. ^_^ come see our next performance in {touring location}”. You know— a lighthearted toothless Revolution joke.
But we don’t even gET lighthearted toothless corporate Revolution jokes!
Instead we get this bafflingly sincere “I want to buy a queen plate with a picture of a starving child suffering under a tyrannical government on it.”
But YEAH my favorite thing about this tweet is the way everyone unanimously mocked it:
random bitter aspiring authors on “writing advice” blogs: Don’t make your main characters super special mary sues. don’t make them better than other people or more interesting. your main characters should be boring average guys with the personalities of wood pulp
the Epic of Gilgamesh: Gilgamesh was objectively the best man ever. He was the hottest, sexiest, most gorgeous hunk of pure manly awesomeness that ever lived and he used a sword that weighed 120 pounds.
The lesson here is that your main characters can be as special, overpowered, and unrealistically skilled at everything as you want, as long as this has the purpose of driving the plot via all the problems they cause (because they’re an egotistical nightmare and a gigantic raging asshole).
The second lesson here is that no matter what randos on writing blogs say, people like stories where the characters are unique and iconic. Or at least they rememberthem.
(I have a theory that the stories that form long-lasting fandoms, and/or are recognized and referenced frequently in pop culture, are stories that have the same sort of “iconic” elements that are long-lasting in folklore and mythology. I think superheroes are particularly well suited to lasting centuries/millennia into the future because they’re just so simple and memorable conceptually.)
Hi my name is Gilgamesh Hammurabi Ziusudra Euphrates Ishtar and I have the same heroic build as my lordly ancestors (that’s how I got my name) with bulging muscles and chiselled features moulded by the goddess Aruru, and icy blue eyes like the limpid waters of the Great Flood, and a lot of people tell me I look King Enmebaragesi of Kish (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da Kur out of here!). I’m not related to Ishtar but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a demi-god but I’m not immortal. I possess extraordinary strength. I’m also a king and I rule a city called Urduk, where I force my subjects to erect lots of ziggurats (I’m known for my cruelty). I’m a Sumerian (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly animal skins. I love the forbidden Cedar Forest and I slay and skin all my beasts from there. For example today I was wearing a skin made from the Bull of Heaven with a matching sheep hide skirt, gold armlets, a carnelian headband, and black combat sandals. I was wearing black kohl eyeliner to ward off conjunctivitis. I was walking outside the twin peaks of Mount Mashu at the end of the earth. I came across a tunnel which no man before me had ever entered, which I was very happy about. Two guards that were giant scorpion monsters stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
This is objectively genius writing but the size of the audience that can properly recognize its brilliance is so small
emerald green makes everything sexier. imagine emerald green leather jackets. emerald green frilly lingerie. emerald green snakeskin buckle loafers. emerald green satin gloves. emerald green velvet cloaks. emerald green walls in a study full of bookshelves and curiosities. emerald green geometric carpets. emerald green mosaic tiles. emerald green eyeshadow. think of anything you like and now imagine it emerald green. you too will be clapping and cheering
