if your man doesn’t propose to you with an explosion and the ring of the grenade used to cause said explosion, then he’s not loid forger and you can do better
— Are you seriously telling me I have to act out this embarrassing little play in front of all of these agents? But in the end… this is for the mission!
A/N: It’s here at last! I’m posting this in between commissions after all, sorry guys! I’ve been so excited to write a little fic with this adorable and hilarious family. I only saw the anime and haven’t read the manga (yet!), just to inform:).
Summary: Living together with a telepath daughter isn’t easy for Loid Forger, especially if he doesn’t know it and she starts figuring some private information through his thoughts. Such as: the fact that he is ticklish! (Also on Ao3)
Word count:2225
Papa is ticklish.
Anya had seen it happen first-hand and not just once, but multiple times. She would watch her parents awkwardly stumble past each other in the kitchen, Mama’s hands on her papa’s waist as she muttered an apology.
‘We are too close! Next time I should wait!’ were mother’s thoughts.
‘…that tickled,’ were her father’s thoughts as he rubbed the spot she’d touched.
It was interesting to see. There were also a few other times such as when Anya decided to climb her father’s body when he was making her waffles in the kitchen, and impatient to have a taste she used Loid’s body to get closer to the source of the amazing smell. Her dad’s thoughts about how much it tickled were so loud and funny.
“Anya - g-get off!” he hissed, while his thoughts were like: ‘She’s tickling me! This isn’t funny! At this rate, I’ll laugh!’
His thoughts only made her giggle and dig her little fingers into him some more on her way up, enjoying the way it made him twitch and dance, and she was sure he almost even laughed.
Fun was over before it could even begin though, since he managed to shake her off, and with the promise of eating waffles she’d given up on teasing him any further.
But when another chance came, Anya surely wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
“Papa is dirty!” He came back home from what looked like an unfortunate spy adventure or just misfortune on his way home from the supermarket as he called it casually. She found that he wasn’t thinking much else unfortunately that could tell her more about his actual whereabouts, but that didn’t matter. It was more than funny to see him covered in dirt as he carried the groceries inside!
“Loid-san! Are you… Are you alright?” asked Yor who was busy cleaning the apartment, with very useful help from Anya. She did a lot to help and got many praises from mother!
“I’m fine. Don’t worry,” Loid told them as they stood around him while he took off his shoes, and he yelped in surprise when Anya climbed up his body again and pried at his dirty clothes.
“Mama! Papa is dirty, help clean!” she chirped. Or if they didn’t, papa was going to make a mess of their clean house again! Mama actually ran to the kitchen to get a wet cloth, but papa was protesting.
“No, I can clean myself. This’ll go in the laundry, and I’ll go take aーAnya!” he hissed when Anya started to scratch with her little fingers against his white shirt which was covered in dirt.
“Papa, dirty!” she scolded happily, not minding the dirt getting under her nails. Her father was so dirty and funny that she didn’t even consider it before until she could read his thoughts: ‘She’s tickling me again!’
Ohoho?
He managed to shake her off him again but she grabbed his leg and called out: “Mother come help!”
Yor came rushing towards them, terrifying determination in her eyes that made Anya almost want to run away again, knowing her mother’s actual identity. But instead of anything hurtful or dangerous, she was holding a cloth and she raised it to start rubbing against Loid’s dirty body.
“Anya-san is right! If we don’t do this, our hard work has been for nothing,” she said, and she started to rub at the stains on Loid’s shirt first.
“Yor-san, A-Anya let go! Hehehey!” Wah…. A giggle! ‘It tickles! This is so stupid! They have to stop!’ Papa’s thoughts were getting louder.
“Keep on going! Anya has got him!” Anya said, hugging her dad’s leg tightly. She then curiously looked at his leg and then slowly reached out and scratched behind his knee, as if there was an itch, but not on her own leg but papa’s leg. She scratched the spot, and felt him react with a wild kick. Luckily she just held onto his leg and was a strong Anya who didn’t get hurt.
‘No, Anya! Stop that, Y-Yor-san, what are they doing! I’m ticklish!’ Anya had never heard her father’s thoughts getting this messy. He sounded confused and just slightly panicked.
“Loid-san, please keep still!” Yor said. A big part of his shirt already looked a little cleaner again, and she was now trying to get the part on his side.
“N-no, I’ll take it off first and you can clean it. Just let me go!” Loid wheezed, trapped in a corner by Anya and mama.
“B-but why are youー!” Yor said, but Anya was there for the rescue.
“Mother!” she said, and both papa and mama looked down at her. Anya looked up at them and smiled.
“Papa has a secret,” she said. They both looked at her and their thoughts were mixing chaotically.
Loid: ‘Secret, what? No. She can’t know, can she? Does she think I’m hiding anything under my clothes? Is that it? No, stay calm. I’m not hiding anything.’
Yor: ‘Loid-san has a secret? What secret? Is Anya-san joking? But we really need to get him cleaned, this dirt is going to cover our floor and I will have to clean it again. I like cleaning, but not so much to do it twice.’
Anya let them anticipate a little longer, and then she was happy to announce his secret: “Papa is ticklish!”
Her father’s expression was so funny! Mama also looked funny. Surprised first. Then confused. Then happy and shocked, and happy again, mostly.
Papa merely looked as if his face could explode any moment. Haha!
“Loid-san, is that true?” she asked, smiling. Loid blushed and shook his head.
“Like I s-said, no, I just don’t thinkー hehehey! Y-Yor-san, cuhuhut it out!” he huffed when Yor instantly dropped the cloth and started to wiggle her fingers against his sides.
Loid staggered, and Anya jumped away from his legs and stayed safely on the side as she watched how he fell back against the door with Yor after him.
“Oh, how nice! Thinking about it, I don’t think we have heard you laugh before. Right, Anya-san?” Yor asked. Anya admired the scene with her mouth wide open and sparkling eyes.
“Yes! Tickle papa!” she cheered, but right at that moment, papa broke free and stepped away from them.
“Noー” he warned, and meanwhile his thoughts were just a chaotic mess of pure panic. ‘Not tickling, anything but tickling. I can’t laugh. My body is not made for laughing. I never laugh. This isn’t right. If I get tickled, I laugh, and I fail my mission.’
His thoughts didn’t make sense, but Anya felt excited and was happy when she noticed that mama shared this feeling. Papa deserved a good laugh.
“But Loid-san, we still have to see where else you are ticklish,” Yor said, her voice and the look in her eyes a little strange. Mama had gotten in a strange mood, even more mysterious without any readable thoughts, but Anya liked it.
“Yes, tickle!” she chirped. Loid shook his head.
“No!” He started to run for his room, but mama already transformed into the super woman Anya had seen before, and she chased after him before he could even get there.
“Waaaah!” he yelled as he tripped awkwardly and fell to the floor - was papa reallya super spy? - and he ended up face down with mama straddling him. Anya ran over and sat by his feet.
“Mama! Tickle monster!” she said full excitement, and she started to tickle her father’s feet with rapid scribbles.
“No! N-no Anyahaha! Don’t you dare, stop!” Oh heehee, he would’ve sounded serious if he wasn’t laughing so much. And when his laughter suddenly went from “hahaha!” to “AHAHAHAA!” Anya understood that mama was taking this tickle monster game very seriously, and she looked up in delight to see her tickle Loid’s sides and ribs without mercy.
“Nohaha! Stohohop thahahat!” Anya was torn between tickling papa and staring at him, totally amazed.
“Papa laughed!” she cried happily, while tickling his kicking feet some more.
“Nohoho! I ahaham nohohot! Cuhuhut it ouuut!” he warned.
“Aw….” Anya was surprised when mama stopped tickling him, and she did so too.
“Did you hear that, Anya-san? He asked us to stop…” Anya had no idea what mama and her strange mood were up to, but Yor didn’t look at all like she wanted to stop tickling him. She turned her head, and Anya could see the very sad expression on her face.
“I’m sorry, Anya-san. We can’t tickle papa anymore,” she said. Beneath her, papa twitched. And he especially looked shocked when Anya pouted very sadly.
“We can’t….? But…I want to tickle papa. If I don’t, I think I’ll fail school. I won’t be able to go back,” she whispered. Her father was staring at her with big eyes.
“Anya, no! Of course you can go to school! This just isn’t ー” he started, but Anya grabbed his feet, making him jolt, but she only squeezed them tightly without tickling them.
“Then can we have tickle time? Just for a little! Come on!” she whined.
“Yes, Loid-san. I think we should tickle you a little bit more, or Anya-san will be sad,” Yor agreed. Loid looked at the both of them.
“I - eh, what! No, this… ugh.” What he was saying made no sense, but Anya could understand him more based on the thoughts that were currently running through his head: ‘This is going too far. First she wants to play in a castle, now she wants to tickle me? What is next?’
Anya thought it was a good idea to think about what could be next. But no, tickles first!
‘Uhh, fine then. It’s just tickling. My laugh is very uncomfortable, but, they are my family. Kind of. We are not out in the public. If it’s just them, then… maybe it’s fine. It’s way less fine if Anya won’t go to school. So, maybe just for a little. Five minutes? Yes. I can take five minutes of tickling.’
“FIVE MINUTES!” Anya squeaked merrily, raising her arms.
“W-what? How did you - WHAHahaha!” Loid roared when Anya jumped right beside him and started to tickle his tummy.
“Good, get him, Anya-san!” mama encouraged her excitedly, and she grabbed Loid’s shoulder and rolled him over slightly so she could tickle him as well.
“Ahahahah! Hehehe - oh no, n-not thehere!” he suddenly giggled when mama started to tickle under his arms.
“Not where, tell us, Loid-san?” she said, raising his arms over his head and pinning them under her knees. Then, together with Anya she tickled his underarms, and it was music to their ears to hear the very rare sound of Loid Forger’s laugh.
“Heeheheheh! Thahahat’s fihihive minutes ahahalready!” he laughed.
“No it isn’t!” Yor said. Anya giggled. No one was keeping the time, but she couldn’t detect any strong resistance anymore. Father was only laughing very loudly, squirming and struggling slightly, but he was not thinking anything other than how much it tickled.
“HAa- hahh, t-that’s enough. N-need to… catch my breath,” he panted when they finally had mercy on him.
“That was fun, wasn’t it Anya-san? Loid-san? Ah, let’s get him something to drink.” Yor got up to get some water, leaving Anya alone with her father who still caught his breath, a blush on his face.
“It was fun! Papa laughing is fun,” she complimented, and she clapped her hands. Loid tiredly remained on the floor, his hand on his chest.
“So, you will go to school again. Right? You will do your best, for papa,” he said. In his mind he finished, ‘…if Anya refuses to go to school, I will fail this mission…’
Anya smiled at him and nodded. “Yes!” She then crawled under his arm and rested against him.
“A-Anya!” Loid gasped. “You will get dirt on you.” That’s right, papa was still dirty.
“It’s okay~ Anya doesn’t mind,” she said, and she suddenly felt very tired. Her eyes got heavy and slowly closed, but she could still hear mother coming back.
“Here, you can drink this. Are you going to stay like this? Ah, Anya-san has gotten all tired. She helped with cleaning.”
Anya opened one eye, without the two of them noticing.
“Did she really help?” Loid asked.
“She did!” said mama quickly, making Anya beam with pride. “And after all that cleaning, playing the tickle game together must have been exhausting.”
’T-tickle game.’ Heh, those were papa’s flustered thoughts.
“W-well yeah. She suddenly fell asleep on me. I warned her she would get dirty,” he said, and he chuckled softly.
“…..I’m sorry, Loid-san. I got carried away. I kept tickling you even though you didn’t seem like you wanted me to,” mama suddenly apologized. Anya looked at her and saw that mama was blushing. She then turned her head slightly and saw the fond look on papa’s flushed face.
“I-it’s fine. Besides, you did it for Anya’s sake, right?” he said.
Yor blushed even more. “T-that’s right!” she said, but her thoughts were more like: ‘Definitely for my own sake, I want to hear him laugh again!!!’ Anya smirked.
“Papa and mama are flirting,” she chirped, causing both of them to yell in shock.
Good day fellow spy x family fans. Let’s just cherish this small moment of loid almostbursting out laughing. We need to see more of him actually smiling than putting on a facade ಥ_ಥ
