#loveisthething

6: Winter’s Warmth

By December 2018 another whirlwind was at my back. I was wrapping up the first year I’d worked full-time for myself making art–without starving, contrary to the old, tired, and increasingly inaccurate stereotype. I had a few major projects with the CLO and an educational video game, and a number of other conservation or non-profit clients. I was making art in general at a furious rate. And it was during this first year, my relationship with art-making started to become unhealthy.

The complete absence of a steady paycheck scared the absolute heck out of me. I had zero example of how to manage this, and at the time “hustle/entrepreneur” culture was going strong, without much critique on its impact on well-being. So I worked. And worked and worked and worked, and if I was awake, I was either working or thinking about working. This culminated in a visit to the ER, with a migraine so bad and weird I thought I might be having a stroke.
That was enough of a wake-up call that I started establishing some boundaries. I started being more comfortable with saying “no” to clients with projects that didn’t fit me, and charging more responsible rates for those who did. This did not happen overnight, and is still in progress to this day.

I also didn’t do it alone. One of the joys of being in Charlottesville was getting to know my awesome sister (@abiggril) as an adult, and meet her wonderful friends, who welcomed me into their community with open arms. (And lots of board games and food!) They continue to be some of my favorite people, even though I live across the mountain now.
Last but far from least, my biggest supporter, best friend, and partner was there with me through it all. He’s the kind of partner that definitely inspires a goopy mistletoe-y snuggly sort of Christmas card.

If you have friends, family, partners, pets–any Being of any kind who makes your days rich with love this chilly season, consider telling them so once you finish reading this. And consider, if you/they are a touchy/feely type, a good hug.

#happyholidays #throwback #advent #birdart #whimsical #watercolor #inkbirds #winterbirds #birdartist #inkbirds #love #loveisthething

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