By December 2018 another whirlwind was at my back. I was wrapping up the first year I’d worked full-time for myself making art–without starving, contrary to the old, tired, and increasingly inaccurate stereotype. I had a few major projects with the CLO and an educational video game, and a number of other conservation or non-profit clients. I was making art in general at a furious rate. And it was during this first year, my relationship with art-making started to become unhealthy.
The complete absence of a steady paycheck scared the absolute heck out of me. I had zero example of how to manage this, and at the time “hustle/entrepreneur” culture was going strong, without much critique on its impact on well-being. So I worked. And worked and worked and worked, and if I was awake, I was either working or thinking about working. This culminated in a visit to the ER, with a migraine so bad and weird I thought I might be having a stroke. That was enough of a wake-up call that I started establishing some boundaries. I started being more comfortable with saying “no” to clients with projects that didn’t fit me, and charging more responsible rates for those who did. This did not happen overnight, and is still in progress to this day.
I also didn’t do it alone. One of the joys of being in Charlottesville was getting to know my awesome sister (@abiggril) as an adult, and meet her wonderful friends, who welcomed me into their community with open arms. (And lots of board games and food!) They continue to be some of my favorite people, even though I live across the mountain now. Last but far from least, my biggest supporter, best friend, and partner was there with me through it all. He’s the kind of partner that definitely inspires a goopy mistletoe-y snuggly sort of Christmas card.
If you have friends, family, partners, pets–any Being of any kind who makes your days rich with love this chilly season, consider telling them so once you finish reading this. And consider, if you/they are a touchy/feely type, a good hug.
2017 was a whirlwind of a year. I was making up for my hermit-like college years with ferocity–in addition to working at the Lab of O, I had joined two church choirs, gotten engaged in some community volunteering, and was socializing most nights of the week and weekend. Everything was going well and sprinting forward, and I could see a concrete future for myself coalescing that checked all of my boxes–something I’d been pursuing since I left my parent’s home 10 years prior. Then a significant personal snag occured, and that envisioned future became so much fog. I was not sure what was next again. It was in that fog, sitting at a coffeeshop in Burlington, VT, that I painted this image that went on to be my Christmas card for the year. I wasn’t very familiar with Stoicism at the time, but had unconsciously made for myself a little Stoic scholar in the form of this ruffed grouse.
The untouched snow ahead beckons. There are many ways to leave a trail, and all of them lead to life–with the right attitude, a life lived well. But no matter what, your job as One Who Lives is to press on–one foot in front of the other.
The end of 2015 found me a lot more confident and a lot happier. The end of my masters was in sight, with all my research trials (or so I thought, haha) behind me and one long semester of writing ahead. My work-wife and best buddy Sarah and I were killing it every day–teaching in the classroom, doing research in the lab, and getting swole at the gym. (We also enjoyed putting together outfits with whatever we had in our closets, which are some of the earliest things I documented on Instagram.) With more of a handle on things non-art related, I found myself drawing and thinking about art a lot more often. There was a poster in my office in Millington (RIP, the building has since been torn down and only exists in W&M students’ memories) that had been left by some long-graduated student titled “Birds of the Garden” by Larry McQueen, of North American birds in winter. If you’re not familiar with McQueen’s work, definitely look him up! I looked at this poster all the time and loved how the birds in it were ALIVE, going about their business in the snow even as their species names hovered beside them. As I started thinking about that year’s holiday card, I wondered–what if I did that, but silly? And here we are. This is still one of the most popular cards I’ve ever done, and I still sell packs of them to friends and family. It spun into card “sequels”, as I did Birds of the East Coast for the other three seasons. This card also led in part to one of the greatest adventures and turning points of my life–but that’s getting ahead of myself. ;) PS - Sarah, if you’re reading this, I love you!
‘Each piece telling its unique story, its own tale of woe.’
Introducing ‘Pantovola’ by Anouk de Groot, a textile art/dolls and soft sculptures artist from Scotland, who creates beauty out of primitive finds.
These fascinating designs are inspired by the magical world of adolescence. Recalling your nostalgic memories you once fantasized as a child along with the ‘wilderness of nature’, ‘remarkable folklore animals stories’, ‘myths’, ‘fairy tales’, ‘dreams of dusty attics full of secrets’.
Every single piece are hand stitched using natural cotton, hand painted with watercolors and natural coffee dye, dressed in delicate vintage and antique fabrics collected by Anouk herself from local thrift stores and markets with final touch up of embroidery.
‘Twin Sisters’
‘Anais’
‘Tailed Twin Sisters’
“I like to collect and use material with a history, used and discarded, with visible wear and tear, a story visible in its imperfections and decay…In my textile art and dolls the material I use is of great importance, as it has its own narrative already that has nothing to do with me or the piece I am creating.’ said Anouk.
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When I was a child, my life wasn’t that smooth and easy. I was born with severe asthma, I could rarely go to school, I wasn’t healthy enough to leave my bedroom. Having to stay at home with no friends, gradually draw me to live in my own imaginary world. I either read a lot of mystical stories and fairy tales or watched Pan’s Labyrinth, FairyTale: A True Story, A Little Princess, The Secret Garden repetitively day after day. Yes, I had these magical creatures created in my mind as companions. Though my body was suffering from the symptom but my mind was in harmony.
Throughout time, I lost touches of these feelings that I have left behind as I grew older, until the day I came across collection of dolls from Pantovola, every bit of magical memory are recoiling and becoming even more solid, specially when I got my hands on Hettie the hare by Anouk de Groot. I was totally enchanted.
