#lysikan babbles
“If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.”— marcandangel.com (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
Not if they are autistic.
I cannot call you on the phone - I don’t speak or understand when you do.
I cannot email you first - my anxiety makes me sit down and cry when I try.
I cannot wave first in public - you might not wave back and I will sit down and cry.
Text me, email me, wave to me. I will respond.
I will not initiate any social interaction no matter how well I know you or like you.
I do not even initiate contact with my Mother and she’s the most wonderful person in the world.
if a deaf or hard of hearing person asks you to repeat yourself please do!!! don’t ignore them or say “nothing” or “never mind” !!! you may not think what you said was significant, but you’re forcing us to be in the dark and you’re controlling our environment more than you may realize!!!
and maybe said it a different way - not repeat the same words. Sometimes brains get stuck on stuff and if you just said the same thing over again is still stuck.
“Got a light?” “um, huh, what?” “Got a light?” “um, huh, what?” - isn’t going no place.
“Got a light?” “um, huh, what?” “A light for my cig?” “Oh, uh, yeah.” - communication happened.
Words is hard.
To win you has to make everyone else feel worse than you does.
Is a fave game on the innertubes. “My coworker has cancer and calls out of work because she says the chemo is draining her. But I have ADHD and the stress is draining me!” (yes, a people said that).
Stop it.
Stop it now.
You want to know what it is like to live another person’s disability?
No, you don’t. You know you don’t. You don’t want to have cancer. You don’t want to be blind. You don’t want to be deaf. You don’t want to freak out every time someone gets near you. You don’t want to walk with a cane because you can’t trust your legs. You don’t want to need a wheelchair because after a few minutes of walking your legs go ”that’s enough for today” and stop. You don’t want to ride in a wheelchair all the time because your legs don’t do what legs are made for.
You don’t want to be insulted because you need to use a ramp to get to the door of the grocery. You don’t want to be laughed at. You don’t want to take time off work because doctors only work 10 to 4 but you NEED to see the doc regularly because the meds you take need a doc to approve every four weeks. You don’t want to lose your job because you had a meltdown where a client saw.
You don’t want to be in the other person’s place, yet you ridicule them for being in it through no choice of their own?
Stop that shit.
Disabled people have enough shit to deal with without having to fight other disabled people over who has it worse.
Work with us as a team or we all get dumped in the sewer as “burdens”.
You want to rant?
Rant at the people that make things harder for you, not the people that have different needs.
Picking on the other disabled people doesn’t make you one of the “regular” people, it just makes you an asshole. The “regular” people will still look down on you, they’ll just laugh along with you during that moment of you being an ass - then be an ass to you.
You will still get help from the rest of us, because we aren’t assholes.
You’re still an asshole.
I’ve noticed that a lot of well-meaning people try to fight disability stigma by making disability unspeakable.
The logic seems to be like this:
- They notice that when people are seen as disabled, they are respected less.
- They call this stigma, and think of stigma as a very bad problem.
- They then try to figure out how to make stigma go away so that people will be respected more.
- They think that if no one was seen as disabled, there would be no stigma.
- They try to get people to pretend that disability doesn’t exist.
- They expect this to somehow improve the lives of people with disabilities. (On the grounds that if everyone ignores disability, there will be no disability stigma.)
This approach doesn’t work. Disability exists, whether or not anyone is willing to acknowledge it. When we try to fight stigma by ignoring disability, we send the message that disability is unacceptable.
When people are made to pretend that their disability does not exist, they learn that basic things about their body are unspeakable. When people are made to pretend someone else’s disability doesn’t exist, they learn that if they stopped ignoring basic things about them, it would be impossible to keep respecting them. These are not good lessons.
If you need to pretend someone isn’t disabled in order to respect them, you’re not really respecting them. You’re giving imaginary respect to an imaginary nondisabled person. People with disabilities deserve better. People with disabilities don’t need fake respect handed out as a consolation prize. People with disabilities need to be treated with real respect, as the people they really are.
If we want to fight stigma, we have to get real. Disability exists, and pretending that it doesn’t just makes the problem worse. Stigma is not caused by noticing disability; stigma is caused by ableist attitudes towards disability. It is ok to be disabled, it is not ok to be ableist, and it is upon all of us to build a culture that understands that.
I’m disabled. I’m not needing to pretend I’m not disabled. I’m needing you to accept that I am disabled and help me when I need it.
Do not pretend you can’t read my tablet.
Do not pretend you can’t understand the sound it makes to render my typing into voice.
You complained the voice was too human (uncanny valley) and now complain it is too robotic.
Admit it. You are uncomfortable with disabled people.
Now that you have admitted it - FIX IT.
We are here. We will always be here. Fix your attitude about it.
Why is it that as a society people are so scared of different? Why are people so scared of someone who looks, acts, talks, or does things differently? Are people who are different that awful that others needs to label them as “outcasts” and “worthless” or even “retarded”?
I honestly see no problem with different. Maybe it’s because I am different. Maybe it’s because I grew up being bullied and pushed aside and taunted because I was different.
There needs to stop being a problem with people who are different. Aren’t we all human? Don’t all of us have our differences?
If all of us are different from each other, then why does society have a problem with autistic people or people who are wired differently?
I think it’s because society has accepted the normal. Normal is a way of life in the world and if you are not normal then you’re not a real person, according to society.
We need to fuck that shit up. We need to tell people to fuck normal.
We need to accept people who are different and love them because they are different.
If you can’t change a horse into a cat, then you shouldn’t change people who are different into normal.
There’s a reason for it - for primitive peoples. Is safer to make fast judgement on if a thing is gonna eat you or you is gonna eat it or both is gonna run away screaming.
In modern times (like for the last 3000+ years) is not a very useful thing, but peoples are stupid and learn slow.
“Different” is a trigger for that.
“Gots the wrong color/shape/fur/action - not a people. Is bigger, run away, else is smaller, attack.” (Animals what is smaller isn’t safe - they steals food and eats babies - sos need to get rid of them, too).
(aside: Took a time for cats to domesticate humans - mostly by eating the rats what was eating the foods and humans figured out was a good thing.)
Sos - peoples has a short-circuit thing in the brain what likes to make snap judgements to decide if is safe or not. They use it lots. Excessively. (Is easier than thinking - peoples aren’t good at that.)
Now the world is safer, but peoples is stupid and still use it instead of thinking.
The word for it is prejudice - prejudging based on appearance or behavior without facts.
Humans is still just beasts what goes “different is dangerous - eat or be eaten”.
