#matt czuchry

******STUFFED TO THE GILLS WITH SPOILERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!******

It’s been just shy of a month since the Gilmore Girls revival hit Netflix, and after my third (yep) viewing – this time with pen and paper in hand – I’ve finally decided to write up my feelings of the year we spent with the girls. From the good, to the bad, to the downright ugly.

First off, it’s important to point out that I am a Gilmore Girls super fan. To the point that the launch of the new episodes was not viewed as just a TV show, it was an EVENT. We got up at 7am, wore Luke’s T’shirts, bought copious amounts of junk food…it was huge for us:

Having said that, I am fully aware of the flaws of both the original series as well as the new episodes, so didn’t go in with any rose tinted glasses. So here we go:  

The aesthetic.

Gosh, wasn’t the whole thing just beautiful to look at? The attention to detail for every season was stunning, from the pretty pink blossom leaves to the twinkly Christmas lights and the fabulous red bow on the Gilmore fridge that was absolutely 100% Lorelai and 0% Luke.

I was also a big fan of the way the series was shot, particularly this scene that was just so Wes Anderson it hurt, and I loved it.

I never really think of Gilmore Girls as a ‘dated’ TV show until I go back to the earlier seasons and see some of the wardrobe choices. Chord trousers, people?! REALLY. Here, though, they outfits are a lot more current and up to date. I would like all of the outfits in Rory’s wardrobe, please and thank you Santa Claus.

Some of the ‘other’ characters.

After seven years of being a fabulous but criminally underused member of the core cast, Michel finally got some much deserved backstory. I love his descriptions of his husband ‘ordering’ a baby for them to adopt, and the bits with him searching for a new job gave Yanic some time to get involved in some of the emotional plot lines. The part in the secret bar (genius) was lovely, and really validated a friendship that’s always been funny, but often left you wondering why on earth they’re friends anyway.

Now for Lane. Had I been a particular fan of hers in the first place, I think I’d have been really disappointed by her presence in the revival. For a girl who started out seemingly on a path to do her own thing after rebelling against everything she was ‘meant’ to be, it’s a shame that she seems sort of stuck.

She should be off conquering the world with her music, seeing different countries, falling in love, trying new things. Instead, she remains in her home town, still being pushed into church things by her Mother, raising two kids and still married to the same guy who never really deserved her anyway. 

Of course there’s nothing wrong with making roots and doing the whole family thing, it just didn’t seem very her. When the biggest shocker for her character is that you finally see her Father (the elusive Mr Kim) on screen, you feel like she may have deserved better. But at least Hep Alien are still doing their thing.

Someone who gets a much better deal out of the revival is Paris, who was one of the biggest assets to the original series thanks to Liza Weil’s brilliant portrayal. Here, she pretty much steals every episode that she’s in. THANK GOD. 

Of course Paris fantastically successful in her career, but her personal life is still chaotic, which leads to some classic ranting and oversharing. I think I laughed most when she was on screen, whether she’s booting the doors down at Chilton or discussing the horrifying situation of ‘the stairs’.

Emily.

For me, Emily’s story had the most emotional heft out of everyone’s; It’s a word now contaminated with sickly connotations thanks to reality TV, but she really does go on a journey throughout these four episodes. We have the grief and the anger and the depression you’d expect of a woman who’s lost her husband, partner and soulmate, but then her story takes off into so many different unexpected and wonderful directions and I honestly loved every single one.

There are so many glorious Emily moments to treasure in the revival, and for so many different reasons: delivering the first proper swear in Gilmore history (thank, Netflix!) by calling out everyone’s ‘bullshit’ in the DAR made me laugh and also want to applaud, and the phone call with Lorelai aout her happiest Richard memory made me want to cry it was so touching.

Her ending, though, was everything I never realised I wanted for her and then some. Moving homes with her long term (!) maid and her family, slipping her trainers (!) on for a day at work traumatising kids at the whaling museum and tucking the maids kids in at night was so different for her and really showed her growth and development now that’s she’s lost her other half. Kelly Bishop deserves all of the awards for this, she was wonderful.

Rory.

Let’s not beat around the bush: this was a *very* problematic series for Rory, essentially shining a huge magnifying glass on everything that made her somewhat unlikable in the first batch (more on that later) but there was on arch of her story that I really liked: her writing a book about The Gilmore Girls.

She might be struggling in the world of journalism (yet can somehow afford to dot back and forth from Stars Hollow to London every week, but we’ll leave that one) but her idea to write down the story of Lorelai and herself seems very right. And writing it from her Grandfather’s desk is a really lovely touch. And obviously her chemistry with Lauren Graham is still what glues the whole thing together, and their dialogue together is still A+.

But, then, there’s the dark cloud over the whole revival, which is: 

The affair.

In the original series, a major tipping point people for people who stopped being Rory fans was when she had sex with married Dean. It was such a horrible thing to do that it was hard for the character to come back from it, however it was saved slightly by her at least feeling something along the lines of guilt after a right old bollocking from Lorelai. In the revival, we’re greeted with a similar plot line, as Rory (with a boyfriend) is still hooking with Logan (who openly has a fiancé). Yikes.

I’ve seen a lot of people saying they dislike Rory for being ‘slutty’ in the revival, which I disagree with; she could fuck a million wookies if she was single and they were single and I wouldn’t care a jot. But this is cheating, and that’s different, because they’ve both got people they can knowingly hurt.

Sure, Paul is presented as a bit of joke, but he seems like a nice guy and Rory guiltlessly fooling around his back just seems mean. And Logan paying for hotel rooms for mistress Rory in London behind some poor girl’s back is just icky. What a catch, huh?

It’s made even more annoying when Lorelai finds out and it’s sort of just like ‘ha ha sort your life out a bit, but you’re still my perfect little princess.” Where’s that fire and those principles that came out when she hooked up with Dean?? Can Rory literally do anything she wants now with no negative comebacks?

Honestly, this whole story line should just have been scrapped the moment the idea came up, because it encapsulates all of the selfish, privileged, entitled traits in Rory’s character that make her someone who’s often difficult to care for.  At least it has finally made my mind up once and for all that I am no longer routing for Rory. She is, in fact, dreadful.

The Boys.

All three of Rory’s exes made an appearance, and all made their impact in different way. Logan, for example, is still an awfully smug, smarmy arsehole. He was always a selfish smart arse, but here he’s given new levels of dislikability by screwing around behind his girlfriend’s back care free.

We also get a visit from the ever-irritating, over privileged Life and Death Brigade. Oh, how we laugh as they break in and trash the market and buy tango clubs and hotels willy nilly. God, I always have and always will despise these dip shits. Can Logan just quickly do what we all know he’s going to do anyway and finally just disappear full up his own arsehole, never to be seen again.

I was never really a Dean fan either, but I found his one scene rather sweet. Hideous fling with Rory aside, he always seemed like he’d end up in a happily-married-with-kids setup, so there one scene together was nice. Short but sweet.

Jess is still by number one Gilmore guy without question. I mean first things first we’ve got his general physical perfection because

Let us all raise a glass to those bulging biceps, well done friend.

It’s also nice to see him doing well: he’s got his books and he’s close with Luke and he’s crinkled out his attitude and he’s got his shit together, so it’s nice to see he’s maintained the development his character showed during the course of the original seasons.

I also went into the revival heavy TEAM JESS for ending up with Rory, but I’ve changed my mind now. She doesn’t deserve Jess. So head my way if you like, Mariano, you will certainly be appreciated…

Lorelai & Luke.

Thank goodness these two are still going strong. Sure, there’s a small blip in the summer but it never felt like we were heading into breakup terms, which is excellent because my heart could not handle it.

Of course there’s still a chunk of Lorelai drama, with an overreaction that leads to her ‘doing a Wild’ and attempting to trek around America. This is a bit silly and unnecessary, but it’s worth it for the phone call she makes to Emily about her Father that brings a tear to her eye.

The overall loveliest moment, though is their wedding. Or rather, the bit just before, as they wander through the sparkles and the square looks so pretty and magical. It gave me that nice, warm fuzzy feeling which was just what I wanted from the revival. And the look on little Kirk’s face when she sends him the ‘it’s perfect!’ text is just too darn adorable to handle.It’s nice that despite any drama and difficulties along the way, these two wind up exactly where they belong.

The Omissions:

It was fantastic to see pretty much everyone from the revival return to the show, but there were still a few noticeable omissions. Obviously, there was Richard, whose absence was dealt with in a sensitive and beautiful way. Then, there was the insufferable Liz and TJ, who we were mercifully spared from actually seeing and had to deal with only as silent participants at the end of a phone line.

However, there were still a few other characters that I’d have liked to have seen. Like, why weren’t Madeline, Louise and Max shown at the Chilton reunion? Officially, they’d have loved the actors to have been there but they ‘ran out of pages’. But less important love interest Jason was there, as was less important frenemy Francie. I’m sure the majority of the fans would’ve preferred to see the other guys squeezed in the script, especially when they spent about three years on that godawful Stars Hollow Musical.

The last 4 words.

I feel like a real bucket list point was ticket off when I found out what ASP’s final four words were. Were they worth the eight year wait? Maybe not, I don’t think anything ever could be, but they certainly open the door for more episodes, and that can only be a good thing. Come on, Netflix, flash that cash and get us Gilmore revival.2 PLEASE.

I think personally I’d have preferred if the last four words were something really weird and quirky (after all, that is the nature of the show) that no one could ever have predicted, because I’d heard the actual ones mentioned at a few times. One of the ideas that floated through my head after the Keifer Sutherland chat would be this:

Rory: That’s Keifer Sutherland.

Lorelai: Yep.

I’d have liked something like that a bit better, but my brain is a very strange place. It’s still exciting that we might someday soon get to see a brand new shiny Gilmore Girl. Or even, guy.

In Summary.

I might sound like I’m being quibbly and moany, but I actually really liked the revival. It was funny and sad and smart and frustrating, and basically everything I loved about the original rolled up into one lovely binge-watchable package. I hope this is not our last trip to Stars Hollow, but if it is, I’m glad it was the trip Amy Sherman Palladino wanted us to take.

Here is a second one for all the Conrad Hawkins fans out there ☺️

Feedback is always welcome: HATE IS NOT ✨

“A Different Kind of Battlefield”

Conrad Hawkins x Female Reader

Warnings - Slight angst, emotional and physical burnout. Happy ending

—————————————————————————

The third cup of coffee I put into my system 2 hours ago was beginning to disappear. Great. Even caffeine is struggling to keep my body going. My mind feels like I am on auto-pilot as it is.

Unfortunately for me, this was just a regular occurrence since Red Rock Mountain Medical made their way onto Chastain grounds. Budget cuts, longer hours and loss of staff are just some of the reasons why I am basically pulling triple shifts.

There isn’t enough nurses to keep this place running like it should. Not that the people higher up the chain care; with their dapper clothing, fancy sports cars and the ability to do whatever they want despite the affect on others.

Scratching at my eyes to force them open, I take a deep breath and continue down the hallway.

Nic passes me and by the look she is giving me I know exactly what is going to come out of her mouth.

I quickly raise my hand and shake my head towards her just as her pager begins to beep.

“I am fine Nic, seriously. Go, your patients need you”

I was in fact not fine, but it wasn’t like choice in the matter.

It was incredibly overwhelming, and I needed somewhere quiet. I needed to collect myself, just for five minutes. I quickly found myself in the nearest supply closet. I embraced the darkness and slid down the wall, welcoming the coolness from the floor and forced my head between knees in an effort to control my breathing.

I wasn’t aware of how long I stayed in that position, but I was startled when the door opens swiftly. I scramble from the floor and straighten out my uniform. The door clicked shut smoothly and I look up to see my boyfriend and third year resident, Conrad Hawkins.

He stood there for a moment taking in my dishevelled appearance; the dark circles under my eyes, creased uniform with a coffee stain down the front and the nest forming on top of my head which is currently passing as hair… barely.

“You look like hell” he concludes, his voice low, but soft.

I let out strangled laugh, “Thanks”

Tears of stress and tiredness well up in my eyes and I didn’t have the strength to stop them. Conrad immediately surges forward, catching me as I slide back down the wall of the closet, my body too weak to be currently supporting me.

My head rests in his lap as he hold me tightly. I sob and sob till I couldn’t anymore.

“It’s okay, I’m here, I got you” he repeats these affirmations continually as I finally release the horded emotion that I stored over the last few weeks.

He wipes the tears away from my face, no matter how many times they fall as I clutch onto any part of him that I could reach, desperate for comfort and that feeling of safety he provides.

My body finally relaxes, and I am able to look up to the man holding me. Conrad’s eyes were filled with a mixture of love and sympathy.

My voice is raw, and I struggle to get my next words out.

“Why… why do they do this to us?”

He leans down to kiss my forehead. I breath him in, before he pulls back to answer.

“It is a broken system; we just have to keep fighting to change it”

Oh, I knew it was a broken system all right, Chastain being one of the worst with situations like former Doctor Lane Hunter and the likes QuoVadis.

‘A different kind of battlefield’ Conrad called it.

“We can do this baby; we can make a change” He whispers as he fiddles with free pieces of my hair.

“I am not saying we can’t but it’s draining, I mean just look at me” My bottom lip trembles once more, threating another onslaught of tears.

“Shh, Shh, it’s going to be just fine. I promise.” Conrad’s grip tightens on me as he cradles me in his lap, swaying back and forth ever so slightly.

I stay there, listening to the sounds of my heart as the rhythm slowly returns back to normal. It was then I realised that I couldn’t fight the sleep I desperately needed anymore.

When I find myself next awake, I am between the plump cotton sheets of my bed… with an unforgiving headache.

I groan and force myself into a sitting position, to see Conrad ready with a glass of water and aspirin. I take them gratefully.

Conrad glides into the right side of the bed, planting a kiss on me before asking how I feel.

I give him a small smile “Better. Thank you”

I lean my forehead against his, we stay there for a moment before he speaks up again.

“Nic helped me get you home. We are both going to Bell in the morning. The hospital needs more nurses.”

I lay back down, cuddling into him. I looked at him with such great admiration and love. I don’t know what I would without him, or Nic for that matter.

“You are a great man Hawkins”

He just laughs wraps his arm around my waist.

“Go back to sleep Y/N. I will be here when you wake up”

Okay I know I have been away for awhile but I am hoping to get back into the swing of writing so please give me some time ☺️

I have once again begun writing for another fandom so please enjoy the piece below and check out my master list for who I else I write for. As always feedback is always welcome: HATE IS NOT ✨

“No Place I’d Rather Be”

Conrad Hawkins x Female Reader

Warnings - Slight angst, hospitalisation, injury talk. Fluffy ending 

————————————————————————

Peeling my eyes open, I wince as the harsh light hits my eyes. I turn to see Conrad smirking at me from the doorway. I groan at him and open my mouth to speak.

“Conrad, I am fine”

“Oh yeah because you laying there with multiple facial lacerations, your body basically battered and bruised accompanied by a slight concussion is the perfect picture of health” he answers sarcastically, snapping on the gloves before coming over to check over my injuries.

A laugh turns into another groan as he presses down onto your stomach and over areas of your body.

“Sorry baby” he mumbles giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead after inspection.

“Is everything okay?”

He gives you a bright smile and nods. I see him pacing the room, still worried to leave me.

“Stop lingering, go do your job Hawkins” I command him, giving his hand a quick squeeze of reassurance before he leaves the room, promising to check in on me later.

I watch as he leaves the room, my brain slowly drifting to last night.

—————————————————————————

The panic raising in my chest didn’t help as my body ached after being wheeled around Chastain Park.

“Y/N… aged… Car collision… BP… Over…”

I couldn’t make out much of what anyone was saying, of which I would probably be grateful for later on. The pain that I was experiencing was worsening, I felt as if every bone in my body was being crushed and my head was pounding. I was being poked and prodded everywhere. There was only one person that I wanted with me right now.

Attempting to remove whatever was in my way, I did my best to force out the words.

“Get, get Con…” My voice was croaky, and my throat was tight, but I refused to give up. I continued to try and get someone’s attention until I heard his voice.

“I’m here, I’m here, I got you” he whispers, battling his way through the people in his way,coming to comfort me as a team of doctors continue to work around me. I try to take his hand, but I couldn’t concentrate, or even move my hand, everything became unfocused around me and I didn’t have the strength to keep my eyes open.

“That is my Fiancée, my fiancée I swear if anything to her!”

That was the last thing I heard before I was admitted to darkness.

————————————————————————

My daydreaming was interrupted by a small knock on the door and Nic appeared. I give her a small smile as she comes in to do her rounds.

“How is he?” I ask her as she continues to check on my ongoing progress.

“You know what he is like, pacing, worried, irritable, but he will be okay when you are; on another note… Fiancée huh? When did that happen?”

I smile again, the twinkle in my eye slowly returning as she changes the subject.

“Only a couple of days ago, we wanted time before telling everyone”

Nic and I chatted for awhile before she eventually had to say her goodbyes, apparently her and some of the other staff where doing a dance class with Devon to help with his upcoming wedding.

Just as Nic leaves, Conrad enters, with my engagement ring in tow. The paramedic must of held on to it when I was brought in.

He sits on the edge of the bed, takes my hand, and lightly slips the ring back in its rightful place. He attempts to settle on the bed causing me to groan slightly.

“You do realise that this bed is only a single right?”

A deep chuckle comes from him as he suddenly lifts me into his lap, settling me in between his legs, careful to watch the leads that are connected to me, monitoring any changes.

A squeal at the quick movements, smoothing down the hospital gown, before doing my best to settle down again.

“You, okay?” Conrad asks for what feels like the 100th time in less then 24 hours.

I look at the white shirt he keeps under his scrubs. I look up at him, giving him my best puppy look.

“Can I borrow your shirt. You know I hate these stupid gowns”

He smirks at my pitiful begging attempt but quickly hands over the shirt, nonetheless.

“It’s getting late, are you going to meet up with the others?”

He shakes his head and settles down with me, wrapping his arms around my fragile body. I listen as my heartbeat calms beneath him. He is and always be my safe space.

“There is no place I would rather be right now. I love you Y/N”

()  ;  the resident.   by clicking the source link below, you will find #80 gifs of matt czuchry in episode twenty of the resident season 5 (2022). do not edit or repost them. like / reblog if using.

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I’ll say it again. All the awards to the casting department for “The Resident.” She really looks like the perfect combination of Matt Czuchry and Emily Van Camp.

Also: Matt Czuchry turned forty-fucking-five this week, and my brain refuses to compute this fact, because how? HOW??

I love him.

I’m gonna need more of this outfit.

I miss Cary and Kalinda