Put some flowers in your great uncle’s skull on the mantle. Brighten up the place a bit! You know he liked tulips.

An Official Suggestion

We have been asked to suggest that you Do Not enter the Red Cathedral today.

Do Not.

Do not acknowledge the Red Cathedral today. Do not speak of the Red Cathedral today.

Thank you.

Remember kids, work hard in school! Smart minions are long-lived minions. Be smart. Live long.

Are you really sure you want to BUY that hat? Are you REALLY sure?

Are you wondering if you should add another death trap to your house? Do it. You can never have too many death traps.

Follow your dreams. Be who you want to be. Ask for the third arm you’ve always dreamed of.

Pull one over on a tourist today. Tell them your stinky socks were worn by jaegers.

lizasweetling:

mechanicsburgsuggestion:

Don’t forget lab safety! Always wear goggles and proper protective clothing, and don’t drink anything unless the Heterodyne tells you too. There’s no point getting hurt if no one is collecting the proper data!

example of enthusiastic, amusing failure:

A good example! Unfortunately this poor soul seems to have forgotten their lab coat. Goggles are not all you need to be safe!

Tell your nephew to ask your big sister about the birds and the weasels ;) bring some havoc to her day

Don’t forget lab safety! Always wear goggles and proper protective clothing, and don’t drink anything unless the Heterodyne tells you too. There’s no point getting hurt if no one is collecting the proper data!

Stretch yourself. Try new things. Learn some mechanics or biology. The Heterodyne appreciates well-rounded minions

Indulge yourself. Add another skull to your decor. You deserve it.

romaniansuggestion:

scarysuggestion:

sinceresuggestion:

poeticsuggestion:

dreamsuggestion:

affectionsuggestions:

coolsuggestion:

amoroussuggestion:

gaysuggestion:

bittersuggestion:

lovelysuggestion:

I hope you get a good night’s sleep

I won’t

suck a dick

suck a heart instead

my heart is broken

shut up hold my hand

i can only hold ur hand in my dreams

write shitty poetry and vagueblog

love yourselves

suggestion blogs communicating with each other using their strange and specific aesthetic

Build a war clank out of potatoes and smite the Heterodyne’s enemies

Spend some time with the Jaegers in your family. Remind them you care. Don’t tell them anything about your love life.

Beware that which creeps in the dark

Befriend that which creeps in the dark

Become that which creeps in the dark

everyone needs a little black dress in their wardrobe, but have you considered the benefits of a big swooping black dress? with long elegant sleeves and a train and maybe a cape with little skulls embroidered into it…

wake up before the sun once in awhile. you never know how many potential friends are nocturnal.

the air is heavy. a storm is approaching. the heavens will be filled with power, and the masters will take that power and it will fill our town.

the night is young and the air is heavy

date a construct with four arms

date a construct with six eyes

date a construct with sharp teeth, with wings, with fins

date a construct who doesn’t look like a construct

date a construct who looks like they were never human

date a construct who was made by the masters

date a construct who’s new in town

date purple constructs, green ones, ones with scales or fur or external skeletons

date a construct

phoenixyfriend:

mechanicsburgsuggestion:

Bored? Looking for something to do? Consider exploring the sewers below town! An experience every citizen should enjoy at least once!

And sometimes onlyonce!

Please remember to sign the waivers.

Bored? Looking for something to do? Consider exploring the sewers below town! An experience every citizen should enjoy at least once!

scarleterato:

Blood is, of course, one of the greatest fashion statements.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

weird-and-pr0ud:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

where to buy hotel bed sheets?

Ok listen here dude. You go into an abandoned building look for the grey cat ant tell it you are here for tea. It will lead you to a graveyard. You wait there for 3 hours and then sing un poco loco as loud as you can. Don’t turn back until you are done with the song. When the song is sung you shall find the best sheets behind you. Or i don’t know, go to a hotel and ask them

this was the only good reply

averyterrible:

A razor sharp saber is hanging on the wall. It gleams like sunlight. Engraved on it, in the Old Tongue, is the phrase “For BIG Mistakes”

Mistake cleanup duty is an excellent and productive way to spend any mandated community service hours!

Consider putting plans in place to donate your organs in the event of an unreparable demise. The homeless always appreciate a second liver.

georgiansuggestion:

take your carriage very slowly by your rival’s home, that she might see your latest hat

daywatch:

evilsupplyco:

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER”and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

WellMAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

People please remember that if you want to date a Jäger, you need to check both his and yours family tree first. You don’t want to find out later that you’ve accidentally slept with your own great-Uncle.