#mental health cw
❝ you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need. ❞
Everything in Ella wanted to immediately say no, to immediately shut down that train of thought. To let them know that they were wrong, that she didn’t need someone, she didn’t need anyone, she had been by herself for as long as she could remember. People just disappointed and used, they betrayed.
Ella just didn’t have it in her right now though to argue, having just fought off another panic attack that could have led to a disaster with her powers. Her injuries may heal quickly, but healing them exhausted her. She had no energy left, she was starving, she was sore, everything was fuzzy, and now left raw from her emotions. So instead of replying to their comment, Ella rolled her head in their general direction and offered a glare. She hoped it read as ‘piss off’.
i feel like life is becoming a competition for who can treat themselves the worst and it’s really sad actually
like i go to work or to class and it’s always about who drank the most coffee or slept the least or went the longest without eating and i wonder when we all got so comfortable with feeling bad
i used to take so much pride in how late i went to bed, how long i’d been wearing the same clothes, how little water i drank. and looking back there was never a time in my life where i was more tired and miserable. and i used to laugh when people would tell me that drinking water and eating vegetables and exercising would make me feel better but it turns out that when you don’t treat your body like shit your brain starts to catch on
idk just. give yourself more love. brush your teeth and eat a kiwi
usually i would ignore this but i feel like i need to address it because this is such an unproductive and downright dangerous mindset to have
i lost all my teenage years to mental health problems. i have the kind of issues that make it incredibly difficult to provide myself with the most basic care and most of my energy goes towards just trying to get through the day. i still have times where i don’t want to get out of bed because it doesn’t feel like it’s worth it anymore. every single day is trying to power through wanting to give up. i am not neurotypical and i never will be but that doesn’t mean i’m doomed to suffer for the rest of my life.
i know it sounds like “just drink water and do some yoga and your depression will go away”. if i’d seen this when i was at my lowest i would’ve rolled my eyes too because of courseit’s not that easy. eating fruit isn’t going to cure my mental illness. but fixing my sleep schedule and eating actual meals and brushing my teeth every day were the BIGGEST steps in starting to feel like a human being again. the first time i woke up early and brushed my teeth and had breakfast (for the first time in years) i was amazed by how GOOD i felt. all my problems didn’t disappear but that morning it felt like they did.
unfortunately, recovery is hard work sometimes. it takes EFFORT. bad habits don’t just go away with time, especially if they’re ingrained. they’re only going to get worse unless you fight to change them (and it is a FIGHT). there’s this weird culture on the internet of struggling with your mental health and thinking that’s all there has to be and it makes me so angry because i knowi was exactly the same. i would snap at anybody who tried to help me because the little things wouldn’t fix me completely so there was no point in doing them at all. but those things make such a difference. there’s a reason why “if you can’t take a shower, just brush your teeth” is so widely spread. giving yourself basic care and attention is the first step to finally treating yourself like you matter again. existence wasn’t meant to be punishing. you’re not supposed to suffer forever.
A Gentle PSA & Reminder on Bullying and Mental Health Stigma in the RPC
A person’s Tumblr page is meant to be their safe space. Sometimes, it is their only safe space. People are free to adjust their experience to make it so for themselves, and that includes blocking, adding rules, banning faceclaims, or venting out of character sometimes. It’s okay if someone’s content or rules bothersyou, the beauty of this hellsite is that you don’t have to follow them and you can even block them! What is absolutely never okay is bullying someone based on their content, and that includes out of character posts (in general, but today we’re going to focus on mental health).
Imagine just for a second that you’re having a horrible day, and your brain makes you feel as though you have no direct safe space (you pick up the phone and have no one to call, you feel like you’re bothering your friends, etc.) so you post on Tumblr that you’re struggling with a mental illness because the people who are your mutuals are the closest thing you have to friends, but you don’t want to impose. Next, imagine being bullied because you opened up about something hard in your life that is happening to you.
This happens with all kinds of illnesses and disabilities, but there is a particular stigma surrounding people who are struggling with their mental health. The bullying happens all the time and it has got to stop. As stated before, it’s okay to not have the brainspace to see things pertaining to someone else’s mental health, and it’s valid to have triggers. Blacklist the tag, or block and move on. Do not use this as a platform to bully someone. Life is absolutely already hard enough.
And, to people who see the bullying and aren’t sure what to think or whether they should speak up: please remember that a person’s mental health issue IS an illness. It is no less valid than a physical health issue, and treating it as such is ableism, whether intended or not. Don’t be ableist. Educate yourselves, please. There are so many people on this site that are struggling in one way or another with illnesses (both physical and mental) and life is too short for hurting people over something they have no control over, that has never once made them a bad person, just a sick person. Have compassion, and be kind. Curate your space to be safe for you, but don’t take someone else’s safe space from them.
The tiredness that comes with dealing with someone else’s mental health as well as one’s own. Exhausting.
im reaching a really deep low where i keep feeling like i want to curl up and stop existing. & i actually did talk to someone this week but i just can’t afford to do that regularly. periodically i go through these phases (like right now) where i worry so much that im being like. a failure of a staff member on my rp site but truthfully i think that’s just one manifestation of a much larger issue where i just feel so sad all of the time. and so tired. because everything i do to unwind or distract myself or connect with other people feels plagued with irrational fear and guilt that im letting them down somehow or just… not being enough. i want so badly to just enjoy something without worrying about how im going to fuck it up or when it’s going to end.
