#mothering day

Happy Mothering Day!

A quick proposal to change the name from “Mother’s Day” to “Mothering Day.”  To ‘mother’ is a verb, and it can be done by anyone, not just the cis woman who gave birth to an individual.  Mothering is caring, loving, nursing, and nurturing others.  So Happy Mothering Day to:

✺ People who step in to mother others, whatever their connection is.  Thank you for making the world better one person at a time.

✺ Women who don’t want to give birth to their own children because they’re nurturing themselves, their careers, their animals, and their friendships instead.  Thank you for being true to yourself and filling the people around you with love.

✺ People who’s bio-mothers weren’t the best, whether they were neglectful, self-involved, abusive, or just absent, and they ended up having to learn how to mother themselves.  Thank you for being strong, for working on your own healing, and for moving forward.

✺ People who’ve had miscarriages or can’t become pregnant or have a stillbirth - the attention and energy and love and hoping and giving that you do each time for that little person that’s trying to come into this world is earth-shattering.  Thank you.

✺ People who have abortions because they know that it’s the best way to be a mother to that potential child, or to their existing children, thank you for making those hard decisions.  No one can know the difficulty of that choice but you.

✺ People who do everything for their children, who work, who fight, who challenge themselves to be radical parents, who offer love and compassion and activism as the scaffolding that their parenting relationship is built on.  Thank you for making the world a better place.

✺ People who adopt, no matter the reasoning, and remember that adoption is not about themselves or “saving” a child or replacing that child’s parents, but about making more love and giving that child more parents and more opportunities to learn and feel comforted by the world around them.

✺ People who aren’t cis women but who birth babies anyway, who say fuck the hetero-patriarchy and make beautiful, new, unusual families that are based on more than obligation and expectation.  Trans women who teach their bodies to lactate, who impregnate their wives and husbands, who carefully instruct their existing children on how to call them “mom.”  Trans men who show up to the pregnancy clinic each week looking more and more pregnant and ignoring the looks from the other patients, who teach the hospital staff how to refer to them as “dad”, who birth a child out of their own flesh.  Nonbinary parents who come up with new, amazing terms for themselves as parents, who teach their children the intricacies of gender.  Trans and Gender Nonconforming parents who adopt since they have no interest in giving birth.

Thank you.  You make the world a better, more loving, more inclusive, more tender, more compassionate place.  We owe you.