Because I don’t Instagram, I hadn’t seen any of the Murderbot and ART Q&A from Tor until this lovely person posted them and
I have been stuck on ‘Murderbot has never seen a dog’ for the past several hours.
Here’s the thing: maybe it’s because there’s been some kind of shift and domesticated animals as we know them aren’t around anymore but I don’t think that’s it; I think it’s almost certain that this is just a function of Murderbot not having a lot of experience with human habitations that aren’t temporary survey shelters or mining facilities, and people don’t tend to have pets there.
This is an opportunity and now I desperately need to see Murderbot interacting with all kinds of animals. Give me Murderbot meeting cows. Murderbot vs hostile goose. Murderbot being persuaded to play fetch.
But because I am a cat person to my core: give me Murderbot with a kitten.
I may have put some thought into this:
Murderbot is on Ameena-guarding duty on Preservation. It’s not thrilled about it, because planets, but y’know… Mensah asked.
There’s a hissing noise from ground level in front of them. MB may not spend much time planetside but it definitely knows that hissing = bad so it throws an arm out to keep Ameena back (gently) until it can ID the source of the potential threat.
it is not a very serious threat. it is a Very Tiny Feral Kitten.
Ameena ducks under MB’s arm and holds out a hand to it, because of course she does. Kitten takes a swipe at her, but she pulls out of reach.
MB, reflecting on how weird humans are: “Not everything wants to be your friend, Ameena.”
“It’s just scared. Besides, look how skinny it is! We can’t just leave it here; it’ll die.”
Quick feed research indicates: multiple diseases that can be spread to fragile humans by cat claws, especially cats living in unsanitary planetary conditions. Conclusion: Ameena cannot pick up the cat.
Complication: Ameena used Pleading Adolescent Face! It was Very Effective!
(she probably also points out that her family will totally know what to do, Ratthi can help too; he loves cats-)
the probability of Ameena being willing to walk away from the kitten is 20% and dropping
so Murderbot picks it up instead, because it is far less likely to be damaged by doing so.
you know that feeling of holding a tiny kitten in your hand when it’s scared and you can feel its heartbeat on your palm? yeah, that. That’s a weird thing to experience when your entire raison d’etre is violence.
“It’s cold,” Ameena says. “Maybe if you tuck it in your jacket it will calm down?”
At this point, why not? so Murderbot tucks the kitten into its jacket and, for good measure, bumps up the amount of heat its body gives off.
by the time they get home, the kitten is well and truly asleep. The humans take it away to take care of the feeding and bathing and making sure it doesn’t have diseases or parasites. Murderbot thinks this is the end of it.
nope!
because now a) Murderbot is a Known Source of Warm, which cats love; b) it Smells Like Safety and c) cats are innately attracted to people who don’t like cats, especially if these people also like to sit still and not be in the cats’ personal space or making eye contact
(is Murderbot a cat? sources point to yes)
the kitten gets… attached. despite Murderbot’s best efforts, it is now followed around any time it happens to be in Mensah’s family home.
sometimes the kitten will come and sit on MB’s lap or feet (whichever are available) when it’s watching a serial. This is… unwelcome at first. but maybe not so bad. It’s not like a human touching you - the cat just wants to sort of exist in the same space, and sometimes that’s okay.
(and if it’s not, Murderbot attaches a cat toy to one of its drones and keeps the cat out of the way that way)
eventually the humans come to the conclusion that This Is SecUnit’s Cat. MB disagrees, but there is a long process of it coming to terms with the fact that maybe it likes this little creature, sort of, okay.
the next time it talks to ART it asks if, hypothetically, a cat could live on, say, a research transport
ART responds by designing a hoodie with a soft, lined kitty-sized kangaroo pouch and its crew logo, and Murderbot resigns itself to the fact that yes, maybe it does want to bring the cat along on Space Adventures. with appropriate precautions, of course.
I am supposed to be sleeping. Oh well, have Murderbot and it’s kitten.
[ID: Two pencil sketches of Murderbot wearing a zipped up hoodie and looking down at a tiny kitten nestled inside the zip. The kitten is looking up at Murderbot, who wears an uncertain/worried expression. The upper image is uncoloured while in the lower image Murderbot is pencil coloured with dark brown skin, brown eyes and darker hair. /end ID]
