Because I don’t Instagram, I hadn’t seen any of the Murderbot and ART Q&A from Tor until this lovely person posted them and
I have been stuck on ‘Murderbot has never seen a dog’ for the past several hours.
Here’s the thing: maybe it’s because there’s been some kind of shift and domesticated animals as we know them aren’t around anymore but I don’t think that’s it; I think it’s almost certain that this is just a function of Murderbot not having a lot of experience with human habitations that aren’t temporary survey shelters or mining facilities, and people don’t tend to have pets there.
This is an opportunity and now I desperately need to see Murderbot interacting with all kinds of animals. Give me Murderbot meeting cows. Murderbot vs hostile goose. Murderbot being persuaded to play fetch.
But because I am a cat person to my core: give me Murderbot with a kitten.
I may have put some thought into this:
Murderbot is on Ameena-guarding duty on Preservation. It’s not thrilled about it, because planets, but y’know… Mensah asked.
There’s a hissing noise from ground level in front of them. MB may not spend much time planetside but it definitely knows that hissing = bad so it throws an arm out to keep Ameena back (gently) until it can ID the source of the potential threat.
it is not a very serious threat. it is a Very Tiny Feral Kitten.
Ameena ducks under MB’s arm and holds out a hand to it, because of course she does. Kitten takes a swipe at her, but she pulls out of reach.
MB, reflecting on how weird humans are: “Not everything wants to be your friend, Ameena.”
“It’s just scared. Besides, look how skinny it is! We can’t just leave it here; it’ll die.”
Quick feed research indicates: multiple diseases that can be spread to fragile humans by cat claws, especially cats living in unsanitary planetary conditions. Conclusion: Ameena cannot pick up the cat.
Complication: Ameena used Pleading Adolescent Face! It was Very Effective!
(she probably also points out that her family will totally know what to do, Ratthi can help too; he loves cats-)
the probability of Ameena being willing to walk away from the kitten is 20% and dropping
so Murderbot picks it up instead, because it is far less likely to be damaged by doing so.
you know that feeling of holding a tiny kitten in your hand when it’s scared and you can feel its heartbeat on your palm? yeah, that. That’s a weird thing to experience when your entire raison d’etre is violence.
“It’s cold,” Ameena says. “Maybe if you tuck it in your jacket it will calm down?”
At this point, why not? so Murderbot tucks the kitten into its jacket and, for good measure, bumps up the amount of heat its body gives off.
by the time they get home, the kitten is well and truly asleep. The humans take it away to take care of the feeding and bathing and making sure it doesn’t have diseases or parasites. Murderbot thinks this is the end of it.
nope!
because now a) Murderbot is a Known Source of Warm, which cats love; b) it Smells Like Safety and c) cats are innately attracted to people who don’t like cats, especially if these people also like to sit still and not be in the cats’ personal space or making eye contact
(is Murderbot a cat? sources point to yes)
the kitten gets… attached. despite Murderbot’s best efforts, it is now followed around any time it happens to be in Mensah’s family home.
sometimes the kitten will come and sit on MB’s lap or feet (whichever are available) when it’s watching a serial. This is… unwelcome at first. but maybe not so bad. It’s not like a human touching you - the cat just wants to sort of exist in the same space, and sometimes that’s okay.
(and if it’s not, Murderbot attaches a cat toy to one of its drones and keeps the cat out of the way that way)
eventually the humans come to the conclusion that This Is SecUnit’s Cat. MB disagrees, but there is a long process of it coming to terms with the fact that maybe it likes this little creature, sort of, okay.
the next time it talks to ART it asks if, hypothetically, a cat could live on, say, a research transport
ART responds by designing a hoodie with a soft, lined kitty-sized kangaroo pouch and its crew logo, and Murderbot resigns itself to the fact that yes, maybe it does want to bring the cat along on Space Adventures. with appropriate precautions, of course.
I am supposed to be sleeping. Oh well, have Murderbot and it’s kitten.
[ID: Two pencil sketches of Murderbot wearing a zipped up hoodie and looking down at a tiny kitten nestled inside the zip. The kitten is looking up at Murderbot, who wears an uncertain/worried expression. The upper image is uncoloured while in the lower image Murderbot is pencil coloured with dark brown skin, brown eyes and darker hair. /end ID]
If there were ever to be a Murderbot Diaries and Star Trek crossover, Murderbot would be Data’s favorite, but Worf would be Murderbot’s favorite. Hence, I drew Data attempting to explain how awesome the Enterprise is to a Murderbot that does not care and is secretly watching Sanctuary Moon
I sent this to the Murderbot Diaries discord, and got a request to put it on tumblr, so here it is! I really think Murderbot and Worf would love hanging out, you know? Complete silence, complete control over the entire ship’s security system, no immediate threats to the fragile humans you’re protecting…
If there were ever to be a Murderbot Diaries and Star Trek crossover, Murderbot would be Data’s favorite, but Worf would be Murderbot’s favorite. Hence, I drew Data attempting to explain how awesome the Enterprise is to a Murderbot that does not care and is secretly watching Sanctuary Moon
Honestly though: how can anyone read the Murderbot Diaries and not think Gurathin is utterly adorable?
This is the man who says to A ROGUE SECUNIT:
“I can’t tell if that’s you being passive aggressive or you being willfully obtuse.”
Later: Gurathin sighed and rubbed his face and looked off into the distance, like he regretted all his life choices that had led to him standing here right now. On our private feed connection, he sent,
Or you could just show them where you were when this person was being killed.
Gurathin is utterly adorable. He is a sweetie. He is clearly (as, let’s face it, anyone with any sense at all would be) hopelessly smitten with Murderbot. It’s a sensible interpretation of the text. And it likes him too…it even uses its private name with him in Exit Strategy:
Picture commissioned from @cmdrburton , it is lovely, you could get one commissioned too, just for you, buy more art
“Murderbot Impersonates an Augmented Human Security Consultant,”
Tony Hancock or Hannibal Lecter: which metrics to use for volumes of blood in documents for the general public; a semi-serious quantitative and qualitative approach
Image 1: Hannibal
CONCLUSIONS When writing documents for a general audience (the man in the coffee shop, the nonbinary person on a train, the woman in the street) referring to volumes of blood:
1. use millilitres in preference to spoons (tea or table)
2. use the abbreviation ml in preference to mL
3. someone will always (ALWAYS) suggest the use of ‘arm’
Often, in documents such as patient information sheets, there will be references to blood tests where various volumes of blood may be taken. Clearly the aim is to INFORM the reader of the volume which will be taken. You want them to understand how much blood (the metric) is involved. There is a clear ethical drive for this, and it will also (hopefully) reassure the reader.
The volume of blood will be decided by the needs of the trial.
SPOILER: use millilitres and abbreviate to “ml”
HOW this volume is COMMUNICATED is decided by how the document is written.
In this essay I will demonstrate that a general audience prefers millilitres, and in addition we apparently prefer the abbreviation ml (this was an unexpected finding).
Based on results of polls (n=519)
It is important that the volume is given in a way which is clear and unambiguous: it is X quantity. This metric should not be open to interpretation.
You want your reader to feel happy about the volume of blood, to be reassured.
There is also the manner of the connotations of the metrics used. When you read a word, it will conjure various associations in the mind.
In the context of a clinical trial, you want the reader to genuinely understand what the volume means, so that true informed consent is given.
With this is mind, note that currently the metrics most often used (personal experience) for blood test volumes are millilitres or spoons (teaspoons or tablespoons).
SPOILER: use millilitres and abbreviate to “ml”
Image 2: see below somewhere spoons and mls, (author’s own, I have many spoons)
SPOILER: use millilitres and abbreviate to “ml”
In this essay I will demonstrate that a general audience prefers millilitres, and in addition we apparently prefer the abbreviation ml (this was an unexpected finding).
Based on results of polls (n=519)
Millilitres are clinical, they sound scientific. This has positives (it sounds professional), but also negatives (lacking the ‘human warmth’). There may be concern that there is a lack of true familiarity. Though people are very much aware of 5ml as a concept, their actual approximation of what this volume IS may not be accurate. Weighing against this is the ubiquity of the internet; if anyone is puzzled, they can ‘Google it’. The millilitre is an internationally recognised unit of measurement. I would also note that every parent/carer of a small human has several of these which they are incapable of throwing away:
Image 3: again, tumblr images, they come free with cough syrup, we keep them, no idea why (author’s)
Spoons are perhaps seen as hugely familiar and ‘comforting’. Most people will have spoons in their home. This domestic ‘vibe’ (as the scientific one above) has both positive and negative connotations. Positive are the familiarity, the domestic and the safe. Negative is the association with cooking, the Hannibal Lecter problem. As someone said, “What are they making with the blood? Cookies?”. In this way, spoons full of blood can become a disconcerting image, there is a very real ‘ick factor’. The Hannibal Lecter factor?
In this essay I will demonstrate that a general audience prefers millilitres, and in addition we apparently prefer the abbreviation ml (this was an unexpected finding).
Based on results of polls (n=519)
Another problem with spoons is that the quantity has regional variation, UK spoons and US spoons are not equivalent. 5 tablespoons of blood in the UK is 6 tablespoons in the USA. Spoons are also a less exact measurements than millilitres, people may have their own spoons they use for baking. In my cutlery drawer I have a ridiculous number of teaspoons, their volumes are not consistent.
Therefore, with spoons people may be confident but inaccurate with their understanding of the volume.
The abbreviation used for the two measurements may also cause confusion:
SPOILER: use millilitres and abbreviate to “ml”
Tbsp may be confused with tsp (teaspoon) and the capitalisation seems open to debate. With millilitres the convention is apparent mL, but the preferred abbreviation is ml, with a lowercase l. There is potential for confusion with 1 or uppercase I in various fonts and typefaces. People will argue this point, and indeed they do. The majority of people polled prefer ml, and I do (and this is my essay):
Image 4: Poll is ongoing but look, image at the bottom I guess - tumblr’s fun like this
Back to spoons or millilitres: I conducted three polls on different social media platforms: Facebook, BabyCentre and Twitter. The overall response n=519. The same question (give or take) was asked in each poll:
Image 5: All the polls! Yes, the people of Twitter can be silly people-images of the three (yes 3) polls
Hopefully these polls make the ml preference clear, though do note the slightly different wording of each question (damn).
Overall preference for mls was 73%, and for spoons 22% - more than three times as many people prefer mls.
CONCLUSIONS When writing documents for a general audience (the man in the coffee shop, the nonbinary person in the street, the woman on a train) referring to volumes of blood:
1. use millilitres in preference to spoons (tea or table)
2. use the abbreviation ml in preference to mL
3. someone will always (ALWAYS) suggest the use of ‘arm’
I realise this essay is a little off topic for me, here on Tumblr where it’s all about Murderbot: but this is a subject very close to my heart.
To tie things together: blood gets mentioned A LOT in the Murderbot Diaries but there are no spoons in the future…or at least none that Murderbot sees fit to mention.
Gurathin: Hey it calls itself Murderbot and I have some concerns.
MB: You do not trust Murderbot implicitly and without question? Murderbot, who would give its life for you? You betray Murderbot! Jail for client! Jail for client for one thousand years!
Gurathin sighed and rubbed his face and looked off into the distance, like he regretted all his life choices that had led to him standing here right now.
i’ve been obsessed with a series called The Murderbot Diaries, about a neurotic android that just wants to watch soap operas in between saving humans here’s some stuff from the first novella All Systems Red!!
BOOKS READ IN 2018: All Systems Red by Martha Wells
I could have become a mass murderer after I hacked my governor module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on the company satellites. It had been well over 35,000 hours or so since then, with still not much murdering, but probably, I don’t know, a little under 35,00 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed. As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.
Coming off of FT it’s easy to see why ART was a better environment for MB: Full surveillance access, small group of known humans, controlled environment to keep clients safe in but with intermittent bouts of high-risk activity to keep things interesting, ART is a properly designed SecUnit enclosure
#art probably reads listicles with titles like ‘Top Ten Ways to Provide Proper Enrichment for Your Resident Rogue SecUnit’#in network effect when it suddenly gave mb access to all its internal cameras as an olive branch#that was after it had frantically gone on transport bot reddit like 'what do i do guys? what do murderbots like???’#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#jk jk i’m sure art could have figured that out for itself. but i like the idea of art asking transport bot reddit for relationship advice#instead of giving gender and age in parentheticals like on r/relationships ('my (32f) wife (31f) said…’)#they give uhhhh idk processing power or something#so art’s post is like 'my (8.37 x 10^1416548654 operations per second) mutual administrative assistant (7.16 x 10^8 operations per second)#is mad at me for some reason…’#i just made up those numbers sorry idk anything about processing power lol. the point is that art’s number is ridiculously higher#that’s all that matters (via howdydowdy)
I assume ART mostly socializes with other University AIs when it is in-system, so there might be a number of academic buildings that are watching ART and MurderBot like they’re the steamiest celebrity relationship in the news.
They’d be eating popcorn if they had digestive tracts.
[Image ID: Murderbot stands leaning against a lavender wall, casual, at ease with its arms crossed saying, “What.” It is a dark-skinned construct with a built-in neon pink earpiece who is currently wearing a horrible outfit. It has on: bright neon green flip-flop sandals, a pair of ombre bell-bottom glitter pants that fade from periwinkle to pink to mauve to magenta with a black heart with three little neon green hearts in it stitched on over its right knee. As for a top, it is wearing a hoodie with a number of zig-zag, spiral, hippie flower, snake-wavy, argyle diamond patterns in the most garish, ungodly palette all smushed together as if someone had dumped a wide spectrum of shrimp colors in a blender and left off the lid. It is wearing a pair of stunner shades with a pink heart on the right side. Its gun ports say the following: (1) “This machine kills fascists,” and (2) “My other car *also* kills fascists,” with a cartoon drawing of ART with an angry smiley face on it. Its fingernails are also neon pink. This is the best Murderbot has ever looked./ end ID]
“It’s joking.” Ratthi managed to sound like he completely believed that. “That’s how it looks when it’s joking.” He sent me on the feed, Stop joking. Gurathin sighed and rubbed his face and looked off into the distance, like he regretted all his life choices that had led to him standing here right now.
[ID: a drawing in soft orange, yellow and green, showing three people. Dr Gurathin is closest to the viewer, facepalming, burying his entire face in his hand. He wears a button up shirt. Right in front of his right elbow is a drone that seems to be looking at him. In the middle is Murderbot, staring blankly ahead, standing around kind of awkwardly. It wears a hoodie and has a drone floating right beside its head. To its left and most in the background is Dr Ratthi, gesticulating strongly with a forced smile on his face. There’s another drone hovering just above his left hand. He wears a tunic with embroidery on the collar. They are in a corridor on Preservation Station. Behind them on the wall are three potted plants - a huge monstera (behind Ratthi, quite fancy looking), a cactus (behind Murderbot, rather tall and straight, but with the tiniest blossoms crowning the top) and a cypress (behind Gurathin, neat but fuzzy). /end ID]
2.
To the humans, I said, “I’m going after the others, just stay here—” I felt a hard thump from behind. It was low and to one side, where a fairly important part would be, if I was human. I turned. Human One had the armored hostile’s weapon, the one I had taken away and dropped down into the module. And she had shot me with it.
[ID: a drawing in bright pinkish-red, white and gray. We see over the heads of five refugees huddled together in the back of the room. They all wear worn down worker’s clothes. A scrawny child with short fluffy hair sits on the floor, someone young kneels beside them. Their hair is braided loosely and their worker overalls are slipping down their shoulder. Three adults stand protectively around them. In the middle of the room, in front of the group, Human One has a weapon still smoking from discharging aimed at Murderbot. Murderbot is standing with its back to the group, a fresh wound in its lower back, looking over its shoulder to Human One. Its face is not visible. A bright white light comes from the hatch of the room. /end ID]
“Not that! Why are you sad and upset?” That was the point where even I could tell that Amena was terrified as well as furious. “There’s something you’re not telling me and it’s scaring me! I’m not a fucking hero like my second mom or a genius like everybody else in my family, I’m just ordinary, and you’re all I’ve got!” I wasn’t expecting that. It was so far from what I thought she had meant, and she was so upset, that the truth inadvertently came out. “My friend is dead!”
[ID: a drawing in cold light blue and turquoise. In the centre is Murderbot with a very exasperated expression, shouting and gesturing, blood trickling down its face. Its left gunport is deployed. In the foreground, visible from behind, is Amena, tilting her head at it. She has a fluffy afrod tied halfway back. Both of them are wearing the same kind of space suits. Three drones float around the area, and in the background Eletra is recovering in ART’s MedBay. /end ID]
2.
Instead, the diagram showed the connections, but they came from the dead human body, and formed a weblike mass. It was interwoven with the central system, then stretched out to the walls, following the old connection pathways. I bumped into the hatch, which was when I realized I had been backing up. 2.0 whispered, That’s targetControlSystem.
[ID: a drawing in bright turquoise and dark red and purple. Murderbot is standing in the entrance to the control room, the hatch of which is red-purple, and bright turquoise crystallic light is shining from inside the room and reflecting on it. Warnings and text boxes are glitching up in the feed in front of it, and in the circular room lies a human body, eyes open, overgrown with glowing white crystals that connect in strings to the roof and pillars in the room /end ID]
She glared at me. “You left.” Somehow I hadn’t expected that. I said, “Mensah said I could learn to do anything I wanted. I learned to leave.” “You could have told her what you wanted. We—she—we were worried, okay.”
[ID: a drawing in digital greens and blues. The camera looks down over Murderbot’s shoulder at Pin-Lee in a translucent transport bubble floating above an illuminated station (signified by glowing squares in the distance). The bubble as a circular bench as a sating area and consists of a light turquoise field indicated with hexagons. Murderbot is evading Pin-Lee’s stare and frowning, it wears a hoodie and pants with many pockets. Pin-Lee wears elegant clothes, a cropped blazer, tight pants, and heels. Her hair is tied in an elaborate bun, and she leans towards MB with a glare. /end ID]
2.
On the company ship, it wouldn’t be a MedSystem, it would be a cubicle. “It absolutely cannot wait,” I told him. Ratthi dropped to the deck beside me and yelled for Gurathin to bring the shuttle’s emergency kit.
[ID: a digital drawing in purple, yellow and grey. Murderbot is lying on the floor of a shuttle. In front of it, Dr Ratthi, sleeves rolled up and holding an emergency kit, is starting to work on extracting shrapnel from Murderbot’s knee. His torso blocks the view on most of Murderbot’s body, but the broken knee is clearly visible. Dr Ratthi wears tight pants and boots, a button up shirt, and has several small pouches attached to his belt, his hair is curly and he has a slight beard. Behind them, Dr Gurathin also leans down to help. He wears a casual suit with a turtleneck shirt beneath, hair combed back, and an augment visible in thin lines around his right eye. Dr. Mensah and Pin-Lee are visible in the background, standing in the shuttle’s cockpit. Pin-Lee is fully in the frame, looking towards the shuttle’s front, Dr Mensah is peeking over her shoulder at the scene. /end ID]
Abene said, “Were you hit?” She stepped toward me, reaching to push my jacket aside. I jerked back a step. She stopped, startled. Miki turned, its visual sensors focusing in on me. I checked its camera and got a view of my face. I thought I had gotten good at controlling my expression, but apparently only when I wasn’t feeling actual emotions. In our feed connection, Miki said, Abene won’t hurt you, SecUnit.
[ID: a drawing in dark teal and blue hues. In the front, Hirune is passed out on a chair, barely visible. Behind her is Don Abene, a woman with light braided hair over her shoulder, reaching a hand out toward Murderbot. Murderbot is bleeding from a wound in its stomach and on its right thigh, and backing away from her, looking horrified/scared. There is blood on the floor underneath it. Murderbot wears thick heavy boots, dark pocketed pants with various thigh holsters, a hoodie and a jacket over the hoodie. On the right is Miki, visible from behind, also lifting a hand towards Murderbot. Miki is a humanform robot with heart-shaped ear attachments, light silver coating and a helmet-like head. /end ID]
2.
Miki was crumpled in front of the bot, and something looked wrong. I was climbing to my feet, trying to see how Miki was damaged, when I froze. Something looked wrong because Miki’s chest was crushed, its processor, memory, everything that made it Miki squeezed to nothing in one flex of the combat bot’s hand.
[ID: a drawing in cold hues of light blue and light purple. In the foreground and almost blurry, a deactivated CombatBot’s arm lies palm up on the ground. Behind that is Miki, sprawled on its back, torso bent and squished,,an ear bit torn off, head turned to the viewer, its faceplate showing “…”. Murderbot, injured more and wearing the same outfit from the first drawing, is coming up from behind it, looking at Miki. It has a small, mournful expression on its face. /end ID]
