Neil isn’t exactly the strongest of the poets, that goes to Charlie of course, but he prides himself of being able to carry Todd on his back A LOT.
He likes the weight that Todd presses down on him, it’s a warm, engulfing feeling because Todd is a smidge bigger built than Neil (more muscle).
Todd’s arms and legs like to wrap around Neil like a koala, nuzzling him from behind almost desperately. Neil likes this feeling. The warm embraces and weighty piggybacks are all worth it because Todd trusts Neil so much.
When they cuddle on Neil’s bed, Todd still likes hugging Neil from behind, effectively making him the little spoon. Neil, just like Todd, feels safe with him.
Todd was clingy and possessive of Neil, but in a more innocent way. He was captivated by Neil, almost like a child having a favorite toy that calms them down. Except Todd’s never had a favorite toy until now. He was shallow about clinging onto Neil, but he wasn’t overtly rude. Todd just had a security blanket in a form of Neil Perry, an emotional support human.
The others found it both hilarious and concerning but it was over all adorable. Cameron, who wasn’t used to seeing physical affection was seemingly irked, but was just visibly jealous of the kinship. Charlie was just jealous he couldn’t hug Neil was often as he used to. Knox was jealous in general. Meeks and Pitts were also hugging anyway.
Neil liked the attention because Todd didn’t ask him of anything other than piggy back rides or intimate hugs. Todd was happy with just his presence and Neil didn’t need to put up a front to keep him happy. Sure they got along on many different accords, like interests or their personalities.
So, I’m gonna act. Yes, yes! I’m gonna be an A C T O R ! Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to try this. I even tried to go to summer stock auditions last year, but, of course, my father wouldn’t let me. For the first time in my whole life I know what I wanna do. And for the first time I’m gonna do it whether my father wants me to or not! C A R P E D I E M !
Todd was a kindergarten teacher and at the same time he wrote books for children, but he have never read in front of the class before. Some day a teacher ask him to take care of her class while she was doing some paperwork in the principle’s office and he agreed, of course “You can read them one of your books! They love books, right children?” “YES!”
The children were there, sitting in their chairs, waiting, staring, with big smiles. Todd was sweating. His impostor syndrome was taking over.
“You’re the author of The Little Marmaid?”, a girl asked.
“No, I’m not”.
“But you are an author, right? Mrs. Kim told us”, said a boy.
“Yes, yes I am” he replied as he approached the shelf to choose one of the books.
“Are you famous?, asked a girl with glasses.
Todd giggled.
“I think I’m not. What about this one? It’s called The puck and the poet”.
“YES!”, they exclaimed in unison in agreement.
And then he started reading, trying to imitate the amazing ability of the narrator of his audiobooks, his husband Neil Perry. He even try to do voices and the kids laughed in joy.
When Mrs. Kim came back, the kids asked her to invited Todd soon again. They were very pleased. Todd promised to come back and to go visit the library together, the children immediately agreed.
Back at home, during dinner, he shared this experience with Neil.
“I knew you could do it, hon! I’m proud of you” and he kissed him. “Maybe we can narrate the next book together, or… OH I’VE A BETTER IDEA, we can realize a new edition of The puck and the poet and YOU can be the poet”, he winked.
“Okay, okay, I’ll think about it”.
“YES!”, Neil exclaimed with excitement and kissed him again. “I’m proud, I really am”.
And that was the day in which the poet was brave enough to defeat his impostor syndrome.
I’ve this idea of making a fic in which Neil make graffitis and today I found the account of secondsapart on Insta and I’m screaming bc it’s exactly what I was thinking. Eventually Neil’s going to share Todd’s poems…
The next morning, I wake up to see Neil has already woken up and is straightening his clothes given that both of us had fallen asleep cuddling in their own clothes.
Neil turns to see I’ve woken up: ‘Good morning beautiful, come on we gotta go.’
‘Hmm, 5 more minutes’, I mumble, causing Neil to chuckle as he sits down on the edge of the bed. He reaches his hand out and strokes my cheek. I lean into it, still a bit sleepy.
The professors hurry down the steps of the chapel, lead by an obviously agitated Mr. Nolan. Several of the professors are carrying newspapers in their hands. All of us students rise as they enter. After all the professors have taken their places, Mr. Nolan addresses us, ‘Sit.’ And we oblige. ‘In this week of Welton’s Honor there appeared a profane and unauthorized article. Rather than spend my valuable time ferreting out the guilty persons - and let me assure you I will find them - I’m asking any and all students who knows anything about this article to make themselves known here and now. Whoever the guilty persons are, this is your only chance to avoid expulsion from this school.’
Then suddenly we hear a phone ringing. I can see the professors look about for its source, then everyone sees Charlie pick up a telephone receiver.
‘Welton Academy. Hello’, he states grinning, ‘Yes, he is. Just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it’s for you. It’s God. He says we should have girls at Welton.’ Most of the students laugh while the boys from the cave and I all shake their heads in disbelief.
Not many moments later he was dragged away by Mr Nolan. We were all dismissed to our rooms. There the boys and I all waited in Todds and Neils room silently. Neil sat on his bed, with me on his lap and his arms around my waist as he lays his head down on my shoulder and mine leans against his. Only when we hear some mumbling and shuffling in the hallway all of us get up. There we see Charlie stiffly walking back to his room. Neil was the first to talk, ‘You kicked out?’
‘No.’
‘So what happened?’ He asks carefully.
‘I’m to turn everybody in, apologize to the school and all will be forgiven’, Charlie states still not looking at us.
‘So, what are you gonna do?’ Neil asks, not getting an answer, ‘Charlie!’
‘Damn it, Neil’ Charlie smiles and then shuts his door, ‘The name is Nuwanda.’
Charlie sits with his bongos as the other boys and me are all crowded around him. He hits the bongos as he mimes Nolan’s footsteps. I sit on Neils lap while Charlie talks. His arms are around my waist, his chin on my shoulder.
‘Creak. He started walking around towards my left. Creak. Creak. “Assume the position, Mr. Dalton."’ Then the door opens to reveal my dad. Many of the boys get up from their seats. ‘It’s all right, gentlemen.’ Motioning to them that they can remain seated.
‘Mr. Keating’, Charlie smiles.
‘Mr. Dalton. That was a pretty lame stunt you pulled today.’
‘You’re siding with Mr. Nolan?’ Charlie question, ‘What about Carpe diem and sucking all the marrow out of life and all that?’
‘Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone’, My dad explains, ‘Sure there’s a time for daring and there’s a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.’
‘But I thought you’d like that’, Charlie states disappointed.
‘No. You being expelled from school is not daring to me. It’s stupid, ‘cause you’ll miss some golden opportunities.’
‘Yeah. Like what?’ Charlie states sarcastically.
‘Like, if nothing else, the opportunity to attend my classes. Got it, Ace?’
‘Aye, aye, Captain’, Charlie states smiling slightly.
‘Keep your head about you’, he tells Charlie before glancing over to the rest of us, his eyes momentarily stopping when he sees me and Neil, I am vaguely aware of the way we’re still sitting, and I can feel my cheeks heat up, ‘That goes for the lot of you.’
‘Yes, Captain.’
‘Phone call from God’, my dad mumbles to himself, ‘If it had been collect, it would’ve been daring.’ The boys laugh. As my dad leaves, the rest of the boys gather around Charlie once again.
‘All right. Go on’, one of them says
Since Neil was at the play’s practice this morning, I spent the majority of my day, reading in my room. When the bell finally rang for dinner, I speed of to Neils dorm, knowing he’ll be back by now.
‘What’s for dinner?’ I can hear a boy ask as the lot of them speed through the hall.
‘Spaghetti and meatballs!’ Pittsie yells in answer. Then I see Neil come up the stairs as everyone else swarms down to the cafeteria. ‘Save some for me’, I hear him say to some of the boys before he sees me walking to him, ‘Hello my love’, he smiles as he embraces and kisses me, ‘"But, room, Fairy! Here comes Oberon."’ he recites as both of us walk to his room. He opens the door to his room and there we see… his father sitting at his desk.
‘Father’, Neil states shocked.
‘Neil’, Mr Perry states shortly.
‘Wait a minute’, Neil asks hastily, ‘Before you say anything, please let me ex-’
Mr. Perry rises from the desk. ‘Young lady would you please leave us’, he states, interrupting his son. I look over at Neil, slightly concerned. His eyes are fixed on his dad, but he nods. I squeeze his hand one more time before letting go. I reach my hand out for Mr Perry to shake, ‘Good to meet you, Mr Perry.’ to which he shakes my hand shortly: ‘You as well.’
With that I leave the room, and when I do, I immediately hear Neil start to get scolded. I have to use all my self control not to turn around.
‘Where is Neil?’ the boys ask as I join them at the table.
‘His father is in his room’, I say, my voice seems distant, as if I’m talking underwater.
With that none of us really say anything anymore.
After dinner, I go to look for Neil, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. As I finally walk my way to my dads office to ask if he’s seen him anywhere, I can see Neil just exiting the office. The first thing I notice are his eyes, they are bloodshot, and I know that he’s been crying.
‘Neil?’ I call out, making my way over to him, ‘What happened?’ My voice causes Neils head to snap up, the look in his eyes seems disoriented, and even a little… panicked. I lightly put my hands on his sides. ‘Can we – can we go talk in your room please?’ he stammers quietly. I nod and we make our way to my dorm. Once we’re there we sit down on my bed.
‘What did he say?’ I ask, ‘Your dad?’
‘He said I was going out of control’, he says quietly, not looking at me, ‘Dating girls, doing plays behind his back. He wants me to quit the play.’
‘Are you?’
‘No’, he says, finally turning to me, ‘I went to talk to your dad, he says I have to talk to my dad, make him understand what acting means to me and … make him understand how much you mean to me.’ he reaches his hand out to stroke my cheek before he places it on the back of my neck and pulling me to him into a passionate kiss. It actually surprised me, since it was more passionate and demanding than usual.
He pulls me onto his lap suddenly, this causes my hips to accidentally move against his,. He groans, placing his hands on my hips to keep me there, slowly sliding his hands up and down to my thighs.
‘Evangeline’, he mumbles as we pull away momentarily, ‘I-I…’
‘Hmm?’ I open my eyes slightly and see Neil has a light blush on his cheek.
‘I want to be with you tonight’, he tells me as his hands slide up to my hips, then under my sweater to stroke my sides, ‘If you’ll let me.’
When I catch on to what he mean, I blush, but nod ‘Yes.’ he smiles at me before pecking my lips once again. He gently pulls my sweater over my head before putting his hands on my hips again. Then he starts to kiss me again, first my lips, then he moves down to my cheek, then my jaw where he whispers in my ear: ‘Are you sure?’ As he asks this his hands slide down to my butt and squeezes lightly as he continues to kiss and bit my neck. ‘Yes’, I say, gasping at the sudden action.
Neil looks back up at me. I can see love in his eyes, it makes me smile. He kisses my lips again, puts one of his arms around the small of my back, slowly and gently laying me down on his bed. He uses his other arm to hold himself up. The arm that was around me, slides up and down my sides before sliding it up the hem of my shirt, all the while still kissing me.
The next morning I open my eyes to see Neil already out of bed. I yawn and stretch slightly: ‘Come back to bed.’
Neil turns to me smiling: ‘I would love to, but I can’t. It’s the last practice before the premier tonight.’ He comes over to me to kiss my forhaed before getting back up and asking: ‘Have you seen my- … are you wearing my sweater?’
‘Maayyybeee’, I smile.
He chuckles slightly, sitting back down on the edge of my bed and leaning close to my ear: ‘You’re lucky you look good in my clothes.’
His statement causes me to blush a bright red and when he sees this, I can see him smirk. He leans in to kiss me one more time before leaving.
All of us, except for Knox and Charlie, are gathered in the cave. “To live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life” Everyone stops as we hear the sound of female laughter outside.
‘Oh, my God!’ Cameron exclaimed.
‘Is this it?’ A girls voice spoke.
‘Yeah, this is it. go ahead, go on in. It’s my cave. Watch your step’ I recognize Charlie’s voice. ‘We’re not gonna slip, are we?’ another girl asks.
‘Uh-oh’, the first girl says. She hops into the cave wearing a bright red shirt. The lights from the boys’ flashlights hover suspiciously over her chest. The second girl entered right behind her.
‘Hi’ the first one says. Meeks stands up and slams his head into the low ceiling. ‘Hello’ he said and the girl smiles.
‘Hello’ she replies.
‘Hi, you guys. Meet, uh, Gloria and-’ Charlie smiles, pointing at the first girl then lingered on the second.
‘Tina’, she tells him.
‘Tina’, he repeats, dragging out the ‘a’ in her name, ‘This is the pledge class of the dead poets society.’
‘Hello. How do you do?’ one of the girls says.
A quiet ‘Hello’, came out of Neil’s mouth, I look his way, feeling a slight sting of jealousy start to build up. ‘Hi. Hi’ Gloria says back, smiling.
‘Guys, move. Move. Come on, folks. It’s friday night. let’s get on with the meeting’ Charlie states as they make their way across the cave. The boys moved aside to let the girls in, I slightly get pushed back in the process.
‘Sorry. Excuse- excuse me’, the boys said as they moved to let the girls sit.
‘Guys, I have an announcement to make. In keeping with the spirit of passionate experimentation of the dead poets, I’m giving up the name Charlie Dalton. From now on, call me Nuwanda’ he says and the boys started laughing.
‘Nuwanda?’ Pitts questioned. ‘Nuwanda?’ Neil questions as well. Meanwhile Tina takes out a tube of red lipstick and goes to apply it but Charlie takes it from her and put red marks in each of his cheeks. ‘We gonna have a meeting or what?’ he asks.
‘Yeah. If you guys don’t have a meeting, how do we know if we want to join?’ Gloria said, causing my head to snap up at her. I was so annoyed at the moment because of these two chicks Charlie managed to pick up and the fact that to Neil I was nonexistent right now.
‘Join?’ Neil questions but no one answers.
Charlie leans over to Tina smiling. ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate’ he says causing the girl to blush.
‘That’s so sweet’, she cooed.
‘I made that up just for you.’
‘You did?’
The boys laughed and Cameron and I shake our heads. Charlie moves over to sit next to Gloria. ‘I’ll write one of you too, Gloria. She walks in beauty like the night…’ he pauses for a second, trying to remember the lines, ‘She walks in beauty like the night. Of cloudless climes and starry skies. All that’s best, dark and bright. Meet her aspect and her eyes.’
‘That’s beautiful’ Ow great, the second one is dumb too.
‘There’s plenty more where that came from’, he says and the girls giggle.
Suddenly Tina passed a bottle of alcohol to Neil. ‘Go ahead, pass it around’ she tells him. Clearly
he doesn’t notice me looking at him since Neil just takes a swing.
‘Me and Pitts are working on a Hi-Fi system. It shouldn’t be that hard to, uh, to put together.’ Meeks says trying to break the awkward silence.
‘Yeah, uh, I might be going to Yale. Uh, uh, but I, I might not’, Pits adds to try and impress the girls. Then Gloria asks everyone, ‘Don’t you guys miss having girls around here?’
‘Yeah’, Meeks and Pitts said in unison.
Well clearly I’m invisible!!
‘That’s part of what this club is about. In fact, I’d like to announce I published an article in the school paper, in the name of the dead poets’ Charlie says.
‘What?’ Cameron exclaims before Charlie continues, ‘demanding girls be admitted to Welton.’
At that point I reached my final point of ‘DONE’. I was done being ignored by everyone, and especially by Neil. So I simply get up and leave the cave as I walk through the woods back towards the school. All the while ignoring Neil’s calls: ‘E-Evangeline?’
I leave the woods and walk onto the grassfield of Welton academy when I hear footsteps behind me.
‘Evangeline’, Neils voice calls out, ‘please.. I-I’m sorry.’ He sounds weak, dare I say, close to broken. He keeps apologizing for ignoring me, swearing to me it won’t happen again. I slow my walking to a stop and the footsteps behind me stop too. Neil stands behind me: ‘I meant what I said about loving you and only you, I don’t want anyone else, I-I promise I’ll be better, just.. please… don’t hate me.
‘I would never hate you’, I say turning to him, ‘I just… seeing you around other girls… the way those girls looked at you…’ He doesn’t let me finish as he walks up to me, placing his hands on my sides, letting them run up and down before he pulls me in and embraces me. I meanwhile wrap my arms around his waist and place my head on his chest.
‘Please, just don’t leave me’, I ask him.
‘Never, my sweet Evangeline’, Neil tells me, ‘you’re stuck with me.’
‘I’m glad’, I smile up at him after pulling away slightly.
He kisses me softly, as if he’s trying to show me how much he cares. I kiss him back just as sweetly.
When we pull back, both of us go to my room where we cuddle for a while longer as Neil goes over some of his lines for the play.
I sat on the bleachers as my dad coached the boys soccer game. After they score the winning goal they hoist my dad onto their shoulders and carry him away. I watch this and laugh as they do so.
That noon I shared some tea with my dad, so I couldn’t make the Dead Poets meeting. During which my dad tried to talk about Neil and relationships with me, but my cheeks quickly heated up, so I didn’t want to talk.
After this I walk down the stairs to see the boys stand around the phones and Knox calling someone. As I make my way down, Neil sees me. He wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple as I see Knox put a coin into the phone and call.
‘Hello?’ I hear a girls voice.
‘Hello, Chris?’ Knox stammers nervously.
Ow! It’s that girl Knox is crazy about… that one in a relationship…
‘Yes’, Chris answers on the other end.
‘Hi. This is Knox Overstreet.’
Though I can’t hear clearly what is said on the other end, Knox seems happy about something.
‘She’s glad I called’, he tells us before listening again, ‘Would I like to come to a party?’
‘Yes. Say, yes’, Charlie urges him on.
‘Well, sure.’ Knox answers, ‘Okay, great. I-I’ll be there, Chris. Friday night at the Danburrys’. O-Okay. Thank you’, he continues to stammer, ‘Thank you. I’ll see you. Bye.’ Then he hung the horn back on the hook before, ‘Yawp! Can you believe it? She was gonna call me. She invited me to a party with her.’
‘At Chet Danburry’s house’, Charlie stated.
‘Yeah’, Knox stated, still in a daze.
‘Well?’ Charlie continued trying to get through to him.
‘So?’
‘So’, Charlie clarifies, ‘you don’t really think she means you’re going with her?’
‘Well, of course not, Charlie. But that’s not the point’, Knox tells his friend, ‘That’s not the point at all.’
‘What is the point?’ Charlie questions.
‘The point, Charlie, is, uh–’
‘Yeah?’
‘That she was thinking about me. I’ve only met her once, and already she’s thinking about me. Damn it. It’s gonna happen, guys. I feel it’, Knox pushes his way through this friends, ‘She is going to be mine. Carpe. Carpe!’ Knox flips his scarf dramatically around his neck as he walks away and climbs the stairs. All of us laugh at the spectacle.
That evening Neil and I are able to sneak out for coffee together. In a cafe, we sit down on one of the comfortable couches and talked about Neil’s theater practices and everything. We also stole some kisses every now and again.
In my dads next class, all of us are standing in a line while Cameron, Pitts, and Knox are walking in a circle as my dad looks on: ‘No grades at stake, gentlemen. Just take a stroll.’ After a few moments I notice that the three boys begin to march to the same beat.
‘There it is.’ my dad points out. The other boys start clapping to the rhythm of their steps.
‘I don’t know, but I’ve been told—’ my dad began to sing. ‘I don’t know, but I’ve been told’, the boys repeated. ‘Doing poetry is old’ he continued and the boys repeated again.
‘left, left, left-right-left, left, left, left-right-left, halt!’ my dad sang as the boys stopped their march. ‘Thank you, gentlemen’, now he turned to the class, ‘If you noticed, everyone started off with their own stride, their own pace’, he began walking very slowly. ‘Mr Pitts, taking his time. He knew he’ll get there one day. Mr Cameron, you could see him thinking, Is this right? It might be right. It might be right. I know that. Maybe not. I don’t know’, then my dad began walking with his groin pushed forward. ‘Mr Overstreet, driven by a deeper force. Yes. We know that. All right. Now, I didn’t bring them up here to ridicule them. I brought them up here to illustrate the point of conformity: the difficulty in maintaining you own beliefs in the face of others. Now, those of you – I see the look in your eyes like ‘I would’ve walked differently’ well ask yourselves why you were clapping. Now, we all have a great need for acceptance. But you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go ‘that’s baaadd’ Robert Frost said ‘two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.’ now, I want you to find your own walk right now. Your own way of striding, pacing. Any direction. Anything you want. Whether it’s proud, whether its silly, anything. Gentlemen, and lady, the courtyard is yours.’
And so, all of us began to walk around, some walking casually, others making up silly walks. ‘You don’t have to perform. Just make it for yourself’, I heard my dad call out, ‘Mr. Dalton? You be joining us?’
‘Exercising the right not to walk.’ I heard him say.
‘Thank you, Mr. Dalton. You just illustrated the point. Swim against the stream.’
I saw Neil across the courtyard making his way over to me. But then suddenly I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder. I turn my gaze to see Knox, grinning before winking in Neil’s direction as he skips along aside me. I can see Neil’s eyes narrow though I can still notice the mischievous glint in them. He walks to catch up with us, takes Knox’ arm and throws it off me, causing Knox to make an involuntary pirouette. After, he wraps his arms tightly around me as we continue walking, and I can hear him mumble: ‘Mine’, under his breath, causing my cheeks to turn a violent shade of pink.
That evening, I walk with Neil after he comes back from soccer practice. His arm is around my waist as we walk. We are just about to go back into the building, me and Neil notice Todd sitting off by himself on one of the walkways.
‘Todd?’ I ask, ‘Hey.’
‘Hey.’ Todd mumbles.
‘What’s going on?’ Neil asks.
‘Nothing’, Todd says quietly, ‘Today’s my birthday.’
‘Is today your birthday?’ Neil asks. ‘Happy birthday,’ Both of us say.
‘Thanks’, he sighs.
‘What’d you get?’ Neil asks his friend.
‘My parents gave me this’, Todd pointed, both of us look down at a deskset sitting next to Todd, still in its wrappings.
‘Isn’t this the same desk set-’
‘Yeah, yeah. They gave me the same thing as last year.’
‘Oh’, Neil and I say in unison.
‘Oh’, Todd mimicks
‘Maybe they thought you needed another one’, Neil says chuckling, trying to relieve the tension.
‘Maybe they weren’t thinking about anything at all. Uh, the funny thing is about this is I, I didn’t even like it the first time.’
‘Todd, I think you’re underestimating the value of this desk set’, Neil says as he lets go of me and picks up the desk set, beginning to examine it more closely, ‘I mean, who would want a football or a baseball, or-’
‘Or a car’, Todd opts.
‘Or a car if they could have a desk set as wonderful as this one? I mean, if, if I were ever going to buy a, a desk set twice, I would probably buy this one both times. In fact, its, its shape is, it’s rather aerodynamic, isn’t it? I can feel it. This desk set wants to fly’, Neil tosses the desk set lightly in the air. Todd stands up and Neil hands him the desk set, ‘Todd? The world’s first unmanned flying desk set.’
Todd flings the desk set over the side of the walkway and it falls to pieces down below.
‘Oh, my!’ he calls out.
‘Well, I wouldn’t worry’, Neil says as a matter of fact, ‘You’ll get another one next year.’
all of us laugh at this as I stand back next to Neil. He wraps his arms around me again and pecks my lips before saying: ‘Come on guys, let’s go warm up before the meeting.’ As all of us walk into Neil and Todds room, Todd sits down on his bed and Neil also sits down but pulls me along to sit on his lap. There he starts kissing my neck, before whispering close to my ear: ‘I can’t get enough of you.’
I turn my head to him slightly: ‘I love you’ I tell him.
‘I love you too’, Neil replies, snuggling his nose in the crook of my neck. I giggle at this: ‘You’re such a weirdo.’ I can feel him smile against my neck.
‘Gee, thanks for reminding me how single I am…’ Todd states suddenly, causing both me and Neil to start laughing.
Since Neil isn’t at Welton at the moment, because he’s gone to see if he’s got the part in the play, and the boys have football training, I decided to just hang around on Neil’s bed in my comfy clothes, reading one of my books.
‘Charlie, I got the part!’ I hear the familiar voice of Neil yell throughout the hall, ‘I’m gonna play Puck! I’m gonna play Puck!’ I hear him knocking on a door.
‘What did he say?’ Meeks mumbles taking off his radio headphones
‘That’s the main part’, Neil yells exitedly.
I hear Knox and Charlie congratulate him before he bounds into his room. There I’ve put my book down and now stand in front of him. He wraps his arms around me and dramatically dips me down to kiss me. I’ve vaguelly aware of Charlie and Knox whistling. When he pulls away he pecks my lips one more time before sitting down at his typewriter.
Todd and I sit down on his bad to see what he’s doing.
‘Okay, okay, okay, okay’, Neil mumbles to himself.
‘Neil, how are you gonna do this?’ Todd questions.
‘They need a letter of permission from my father and Mr. Nolan’, Neil explains.
‘You’re not gonna write it’, Todd objects.
‘Oh yes, I am’, Neil laughs.
‘Oh, Neil. Neil, you’re crazy’, Todd states, shaking his head.
Neil begins typing as he reads out loud: ‘Okay. “I am writing to you on behalf of my son Neil Perry."’ Neil begins laughing and stomping his feet up and down, ‘This is great.’
Once he finishes his letter, Neil gets up to go and post immediately, but I stop him by grabbing his blazers sleeve. He turns to look at me and seems to know what I’m thinking already. He puts his letter down on his desk and puts his hands on my cheeks, tilting my head back slightly so it’s easier to kiss me. He pulls me up and away from me slightly just to say: ‘Todd leave.’ in a tone that sent a shiver down my spine.
Then he pulls me back to him, his soft lips on mine. I only notice we’re walking when he sat down on his bed, pulling me on his lap to straddle him. There the arms around my waist, pull me flush against him. My hands move their way into his hair, slightly pulling his hair, causing him to quietly groan, which I enjoyed.
Suddenly I hear some snickers. I look at the door to see the Dead Poets peek in with smirks on their faces. ‘Get out!’ Neil’s voice was low and husky, I couldn’t exactly explain why, but it gave me chills. I could see the boys surprised expressions, and Charlies smirk, leave the slightly opened door, before it closed again. Before I could do anything else, Neil pulls me even closer, if that was even possible, and he started to kiss down my jaw to my neck, before biting down at the base of it. This caused me to inhale sharply, as Neil continues to kiss and bite my neck.
The next morning… let’s just say that I had to readjust my collar a LOT because of all the hickey Neil had given me. When he saw me fumbling on our way to class, he threw his arm around me and whispered in my ear: ‘Why hide them? These boys should know you’re mine.’ Which caused me to blush a bright red.
In English class, Knox stands at the front of the room with his poem in hand, ‘"To Chris.”
‘Who’s Chris?’ I hear some boys say, ‘Mmm, Chris.’
‘I see a sweetness in her smile. Blight light shines from her eyes. But life is complete; contentment is mine, Just knowing that… just knowing that she’s alive.’ Knox crumples his poem and walks back to his desk, ‘Sorry, Captain. It’s stupid.’
‘No, no. It’s not stupid. It’s a good effort. It touched on one of the major themes, love. A major theme not only in poetry, but life’, My dad told him. I turn in my seat and tell Knox, ‘That was a really sweet poem, Know’, he smiles sheepishly.
‘Mr. Hopkins, you were laughing. You’re up.’ Hopkins slowly walks to the front of the class and unfolds his piece of paper.
“The cat sat on the mat.” he says, refolding the paper and moving to sit back down, the boys start to laugh.
‘Congratulations, Mr. Hopkins. Yours is the first poem to ever have a negative score on the Pritchard scale. We’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing near you. I don’t mind that your poem had a simple theme. Sometimes the most beautiful poetry can be about simple things, like a cat, or a flower or rain. You see, poetry can come from anything with the stuff of revelation in it. Just don’t let your poems be ordinary. Now, who’s next?’
My father approaches Todd’s desk. ‘ Mr. Anderson, I see you sitting there in agony. Come on, Todd, step up. Let’s put you out of your misery.’
‘I, I didn’t do it. I didn’t write a poem’, Todd mumbles quietly.
‘Mr. Anderson thinks that everything inside of him is worthless and embarrassing. Isn’t that right, Todd? Isn’t that your worst fear? Well, I think you’re wrong. I think you have something inside of you that is worth a great deal.’ my dad walks up to the blackboard and begins to write, ‘"I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.“ W. W. Uncle Walt again. Now, for those of you who don’t know, a yawp is a loud cry or yell. Now, Todd, I would like you to give us a demonstration of a barbaric "yawp.” Come on. You can’t yawp sitting down. Let’s go. Come on. Up.’ Todd reluctantly stands and follows his teacer to the front, ‘You gotta get in “yawping” stance.’
‘A yawp?’
‘No, not just a yawp. A barbaric yawp.’
‘Yawp’, Todd says quietly.
‘Come on, louder.’
‘Yawp’, quietly again.
‘No, that’s a mouse. Come on. Louder.’
‘Yawp’, a little louder…
‘Oh, good God, boy. Yell like a man!’
‘Yawp!’ a shout!
‘There it is. You see, you have a barbarian in you, after all.’ Todd goes to return to his seat but he is stopped, ‘Now, you don’t get away that easy.’ he turns Todd around and points out a picture on the wall, ‘The picture of Uncle Walt up there. What does he remind you of? Don’t think. Answer. Go on.’ he says as he begins to circle around Todd.
‘A m-m-madman.’
‘What kind of madman? Don’t think about it. Just answer again.’
‘A c-crazy madman’, Todd stumbles.
‘No, you can do better than that. Free up your mind. Use your imagination. Say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it’s total gibberish. Go on, go on.’
‘Uh, uh, a sweaty-toothed madman.’
‘Good God, boy, there’s a poet in you, after all. There, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close ‘em. Now, describe what you see.’ he pulls his hands over Todd’s eyes and they begin to slowly spin around.
‘Uh, I-I close my eyes.’
‘Yes?’
‘Uh, and this image floats beside me.’
‘A sweaty-toothed madman?’
‘A sweaty-toothed madman’, Todd repeats, ‘with a stare that pounds my brain.’
‘Oh, that’s excellent. Now, give him action. Make him do something.’
‘H-His hands reach out and choke me.’
‘That’s it. Wonderful. Wonderful’, my dad removes his hands from Todd but Todd keeps his eyes closed, ‘And, and all the time he’s mumbling.’
‘What’s he mumbling?’
‘M-Mumbling, “Truth. Truth is like, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold."’
Some students begin to laugh and Todd opens his eyes, but my dad quickly gestures for him to close them again. ‘Forget them, forget them. Stay with the blanket. Tell me about that blanket.’
‘Y-Y-Y-You push it, stretch it, it’ll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it’ll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream.’ Todd opens his eyes again and the class is silent. Then we all begin to clap and cheer. My dad whispers something to Todd that I can’t hear before turning to the class, ‘Who’s next?’
‘How do we follow that?’ Neil whispers, leaning my way, I smile at him.
‘I’m sure you’ll figure it out Mr Perry’, My dads voice interrupts, ‘you’re up’
Neil gets up, unfolding the page in his hand. Once in the front of the class, begins to read his poem:
‘fog on her glasses
from the still steaming tea
a book in her hand
as she casually reads
a catch in her breath
as the climax grows near
she’s deaf to the world
the book’s all she can hear
she’s completely lost now,
or perhaps she is found
in this strange paper world
That’s far from the ground’
The class applauds, and Neil sits back down. My gaze follows him, he winks at me, and I smile. The class goes on as usual, until the bell goes off. ‘‘Mr Perry, stay here for a moment please, you too young lady’, my father calls as we move to leave the classroom.
All the other people leave, but the both of us go to stand in front of the desk, where my father is leaning against. ‘Do you wish to tell me something, Mr Perry?’
Neil and I share a worried glance, but my dad just goes on to ask, ‘for how long?’
‘We’ve been together officially for about a week, sir’, Neil answered nervously.
‘Are you serious about this relationship? What are your intentions in this?’ my dad continued, in a very serious tone.
‘I’m serious about what we have, sir, I… I just want to make her happy. I…’ he stammers, I turn to look and, he’s blushing, ‘I love her.’ he says finally. What he said moved me, I take hold of his hand, directing his attention to me. ‘I love you too.’ I say softly.
Neil smiled down at me before kissing my temple. I look back at my dad to see him smile, ‘That’s all I wanted to hear.’
With that he pats Neil on the shoulder and goes back into his office, leaving both of us in shock, but relieved. After a moment Neil grabs my waist and kisses me, picking me up and spinning me.
‘How about I take you out this weekend?’ he asks after pulling away.
‘Sounds like a plan’, I smile and he leans in to kiss me again.
‘A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. And don’t use very sad, use-’ my dad says as he walks to the front of the classroom and points to the back of it, ‘Come on, Mr. Overstreet, you twerp.’
‘Morose?’
‘Exactly! Morose. Now, language was developed for one endeavor, and that is? Mr. Anderson? Come on! Are you a man or an amoeba?’
My father stands before Todd’s desk. Todd looks up nervously but says nothing. My dad pauses for a moment before looking away. ‘Mr. Perry?’
‘Uh, to communicate’, he opts.
‘No! To woo women’, he says, causing the boys to chuckle, ‘Today we’re going to be talking about William Shakespeare.’
The class lets out a collective sigh, ‘Oh God’, except for me, since I’ve grown to love the author. ‘I know. A lot of you looked forward to this about as much as you look forward to root canal work. We’re gonna talk about Shakespeare as someone who writes something very interesting. Now, many of you have seen Shakespeare done very much like this:’ my dad holds out his right arm dramatically and begins to speak in an exaggerated British accent. ‘"O Titus, bring your friend hither.“ But if any of you have seen Mr. Marlon Brando, you know, Shakespeare can be different. "Friend, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.” You can also imagine, maybe, John Wayne as Macbeth going, “Well, is this a dagger I see before me?"’
All of us are seated together near the front of the room as my father reads from a book.
‘"Dogs, sir? Oh, not just now. I do enjoy a good dog once in a while, sir. You can have yourself a three-course meal from one dog. Start with your canine crudites, go to your Fido flambe for main course and for dessert, a Pekingese parfait. And you can pick your teeth with a little paw."’ As we all listen to the story, and laugh at my dads impressions, I lean against Neil who’s leaning against a desk. As I lean against his chest, his arm lays around my waist, though it is out of side of my dad.
When we all sat back in their normal seats and dad leaps up onto his desk. ‘Why do I stand up here? Anybody?’
‘To feel taller.’ Charlie calls from the back of the class.
‘No!’ my dad rings the bell on his desk with his foot, ‘Thank you for playing, Mr. Dalton. I stand upon my desk to remind yourself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.’ He glances around the classroom from atop the desk. ‘You see, the world looks very different from up here. You don’t believe me? Come see for yourself. Come on. Come on!’
Charlie and Neil quickly rise from their seats to go to the front of the classroom, and I follow suite. The rest of the class follows us. While my dad continues speaking, Neil and Charlie join him on the desk and then he jumps down.
‘Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way. Even though it may seem silly or wrong, you must try! Now, when you read, don’t just consider what the author thinks. Consider what you think.’ with that the two boys jump down too. Neil stands by the side of the desk and reaches his hand out to me to help me off the desk.
Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out!’ he pauses for a second then continues. ‘Don’t just walk off the edge like lemmings. Look around you.’
The school bell rings as the boys continue to climb onto the desk. My father begins to gather up his stuff. The clock begins to toll as he walks to the back of the class. ‘There! There you go, Mr. Priske. Thank you! Yes! Dare to strike out and find new ground. Now, in addition to your essays, I would like you to compose a poem of your own, an original work.’ The students begin to groan and he begins flickering the lights off and on while chanting ominously, ‘That’s right! You have to deliver it aloud in front of the class on Monday. Bonne chance, gentlemen and lady.’ He steps out into the hall before quickly peeking back in once again. I see that Todd is the last one to stand on the desk and is about to jump off.
‘Mr. Anderson?’ my dad says causing him to stop, ‘Don’t think that I don’t know that this assignment scares the hell out of you, you mole.’ He flicks the light off again, leaving Todd to jump down in the darkness as the students laugh.
I sat alone in my room, reading while laying on my bed in some comfy clothes, when Neil comes in. ‘Ow hey Neil’, I smile, looking up. But then I see him flexing and unflexing his hand, ‘hey what’s up.’ I must’ve looked concerned, cause he smiles sheepishly at me: ‘I was on my way here from my room but Mr. Nolan called me to his office and uh, ‘he pauses, holding up his knuckles to show me his bruised up hands, ‘gave me a beating with a ruler.’
‘What?! Why?!’ I say, jumping up and taking hold op his hands to examen the bruising.
‘For “making inappropriate advances at Mr. Keatings daughter”.’ he quotes.
‘What?’ I say looking up at him, an expression of disbelief on my face, ‘But Nolan didn’t even come here to confirm if anything happened, it doesn’t make any sense’
‘Well, that’s the way they rule this school’, he simply states.
I fall silent for a moment, before asking: ‘Does it hurt?’
‘Meh, just a little bit, don’t worry about it’, he tries to reassure me.
‘Come on, let’s go to the infirmary, those kind of bruises hurt, they don’t need to hurt any more.’ I take a gentle hold of his hand as we walk to the infirmary.
Once we’re there I make him down on one of those beds, I take the first aid kit out of the cupboard. I take a hold of one of his hand as I patch it up. Though I’m aware of Neils gaze on me, I don’t look up, even if it causes my cheeks to burn bright red. As I finish up his 2nd hand, I feel his other hand gently caress my cheek and jaw. Though I have to admit I enjoy it, I don’t look up yet.
Only when I’m done I look up. And when I do, I get chills from the look in his eyes. Such pure passion. I feel him wrap his other hand around and pull me close to him. To prevent myself from falling, I catch myself by putting my hand on Neils shoulder and upper arm. We are so close now, our noses touch, and before I can even comprehend what’s going on, Neil kisses me. It an extremely passionate kiss that takes my breath away. Even though it catches me off guard, it doesn’t take me long to start kissing him back. We pull each other even closer, so that I now stand between his legs as he’s still seated on the infirmary bed. The kiss deepens, and my hands find their way into his hair. As I slightly pull on the ends, I can hear him groan, which I like. Unfortunately, we eventually run out of air and have to pull apart. The kiss leaves both of panting in a short moment of shock as to what’d just happened.
‘I’m sorry I got a little carries away,’ he apologizes, though I can clearly see the smirk on his face.
‘Don’t worry, I didn’t mind’, I blush, smiles sheepishly up at him.
‘Can I kiss you again?’ he asks, looking down at my lips. And so he does.
After a while longer, Neil walks me back to my room. As we reach it, I lean up to kiss his cheek, but he turns his head and smirks. As I feel my cheeks heat up again, I kiss him on the lips. His arm reach around my waist, as mine wrap around his neck.
‘OW I almost forgot’, he smiles as we pull apart, ‘I came to tell you something, before the whole thing with Mr Nolan.’ He leads me to sit on the bed, holding my hand. There he talks about the play, and the auditions, and about him participating. He bounces on the bed excitedly as he does.
‘That’s great!’ I exclaim, smiling at him. We talk for a while longer, occasionally stealing kisses every now and again. Eventually he has to leave to go do some homework, so he gets up and kisses me goodbye one more time. ‘I realize I haven’t really asked. Evangeline, will you be my girlfriend.’
‘And here I thought I’d be obvious by now’, I say, while still wrapped in his arms, ‘yes.’
He leans down to kiss me again, but at that moment the door opens to reveal the Dead Poets at the door: ‘My my, how the tables have tabled.’ Charlie states smirking.
That evening I hear a quiet creek as my door opens. It reveals Neil who’s come to get me to go to the cave. He reaches his hand out to me and I take it as we quietly and quickly run down the hall to where the boys are waiting for us. The shadows of our hooded figures can be seen moving throughout the darkened halls. Suddenly we hear a dog barking that I remember to be Nolans.
I can see the boys take out dog cookies to bribe the dog, but I simply crouch down and pet him before he simply lays back down. ‘Wow’, the boys mumble impressed. All the while Neil hadn’t let go of my hand yet, not that I minded.
All of us quietly leave the building and set off running across the fields towards the woods.
We search about the trees trying to find the cave, Neil kept my hand in his so I didn’t slip on the unpredictable footing of the wood. I silently thanked the dark for hiding the fierce blush that had come to dust my cheeks. From the corner of my eyes I see Meeks searching around when Charlie leaps up behind Meeks in the dark shining the flashlight up at his own face and grabs Meeks by the shoulder. ‘Arrr, I’m a dead poet.’ he yells.
‘Aww, Charlie’, Meeks whines.
‘Guys, over here’, Charlie laughs.
‘You’re funny. You’re real funny’, Meeks states sarcastically.
When we get in the cave the boys are trying to start a fire, but the cave is quickly filling up with smoke.
‘It’s too wet’, Meeks says, referring to the wood.
‘God, are you trying to smoke us out of here?’ Charlie complains, causing me to laugh quietly. This earns me a glance from Neil who winks at me.
‘No, no, the smoke’s going right up this opening’, Meeks points.
Pitts tries to stand up and slams his head into the low rock ceiling. He lets out a yell while the others laugh.
‘You okay?’ I ask, touching his arm. He smiles and tells me he’s fine, though he mumbles something about: ‘Oh God. Clowns.’ referring to the boys.
‘All right, all right, forget the fire. Let’s go gentlemen, and lady.’ Neil finally opts, before standing up before the others with the book in hand, and takes a drag on a cigarette before passing it on to Charlie.
‘I hereby reconvene the Dead Poets Society’, he states, causing the boys and me to cheer. Charlie tries to skip me to pass the cirgatette to Pitts who sits next to me. But I snatch it out of his hand and take a drag, causing all the boys to look at me surprised. I breath the smoke back out without coughing, this wasn’t the first time I’d smoked after all.
I pass the cigarette to Pitts who takes it looking at me astonished before I turn back to Neil with an innocent expression in my eyes.
‘Welton chapter’, he says after gawping at me for another second, ‘The meetings will be conducted by myself and the other new initiates now present. Todd Anderson, because he prefers not to read, will keep minutes of the meetings. I’ll now read the traditional opening message by society member Henry David Thoreau. “I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."’
‘I’ll second that’, Charlie interrupts.
‘"To put to rout all that was not life, and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.’
Several boys whistle softly in reaction to the poem, I just smile.
‘And Keating’s marked a bunch of other pages’, Neil mumbles as he begins flipping through the book as he sits back down next to me and sliding his arm around me for warmth.
‘All right, intermission. Dig deep right here. Right here, lay it down’, Charlie orders.
‘On the mud? We’re gonna put our food on the mud?’ Cameron objects.
‘Meeks, put your coat down. Picnic blanket’, Charlie states.
‘Yes sir, use Meeks’ coat’, the boy in question mumbles to himself.
‘Don’t keep anything back either. You guys are always bumming my smokes’, Charlie demands again. Meeks lays his coat down and everyone dumps their food on it. Amongst the pile are chocolate chip cookies, a box of raisins, a few apples, an orange, and half a roll.
‘Raisins?’ Neil states judgily, making me laugh.
‘Yuck.’
‘Wait a minute, who gave us half a roll?’
‘I’m eating the other half.’
‘Come on.’
‘You want me to put it back?’
Neil grabs the box of cookies and offers me one. Though when I try to reach for it, he keeps it just out of my grasp. I pout and he laughs, before handing the cookie to me.
Neil, lit up by a flashlight, begins to tell everyone a story.
‘It was a dark and rainy night, and this old lady, who had a passion for jigsaw puzzles, sat by herself in her house at her table to complete a new jigsaw puzzle. But as she pieced the puzzle together, she realized, to her astonishment, that the image that was formed was her very own room. And the figure in the center of the puzzle, as she completed it, was herself. And with trembling hands, she placed the last four pieces and stared in horror at the face of a demented madman at the window. The last thing that this old lady ever heard was the sound of breaking glass.’
‘Ohhh… no…’
‘This is true, this is true.’ as Neil says this, he pinches my side, causing me to squeel.
The boys and he laugh as I punch his arm, ‘damn it Neil!’
As everyone’s voices begin to calm down, Pitts begins reading from the book.
"In a mean abode in the shanking road, lived a man named William Bloat. Now, he had a wife, the plague of his life, who continually got his goat. And one day at dawn, with her nightshift on, he slit her bloody throat.” The boys laugh as I cringe as a shiver goes up my spine. Neil seems to have noticed, because his arm went securely around me again, I scoot a little closer and snuggle closer to him for warmth.
‘Oh, and it gets worse’, Pitts notes about the story.
‘Alright, who’s next?’ someone asks.
‘E.C. “It is so easy
for me to love you
that it frightens me.
I’ve never been good
at anything.
But I’ve never wanted
anything so much as
I want to hold you
every waking minute.
And every night while I sleep.
The question had ceased to be
‘How do I love you?’
and has become
‘How would I ever stop?’”
The emotion in his voice gave me goosebumps, I looked at him with a look of what must have been pure admiration before I feel a tug on my sleeve, it’s Knox. ‘He’s got it for you real bad’, he whispers, causing me to blush and him to snicker.
He sits back down and glances at me. As I realize I just got caught staring, I quickly look away.
‘Lady’, a voice snaps me out of my thoughts and Charlie stands above me holding his hand out. I give him a questioning look and he just nods towards his hand. I grab it and he helps me up and spins me around as soon as I am on my feet.
‘We’ll be back’, he says to the boys as he escorted me out the cave. I keep my eyes locked with Neil, whose jaw was clenched.
‘What do we need to talk about, Charlie?’ I ask as we step out of the cave. He nonchalantly shrugs as we step a little further away. He sits down on a large rock and then pats the spot next to him. As we sat and both look off into the distance.
‘Don’t hurt him’, he says after a while. I turn and look at him.
‘What?’ I ask, obviously confused.
‘Neil really likes you and that boy has never gotten anything he wanted. He has only done what his dad has wanted. And right now he feels on top of the world. He’s doing this club and thinking for himself. He gets involved with you and if you break his heart… well, he won’t feel so on top of the world.’ He might still have this club and us boys, but I don’t think I’ve seen him want anything more than to be with you. And you breaking him would crush him. Neil is the greatest guy, I know’, he says and I shake my head chuckling.
‘We’ve only known each other for like a week’, I say and he smiles at me: ‘But he’s spent almost every second with you, hasn’t he? Neil isn’t one to obsess over girls, but there is something about you that he’s drawn to, so that makes you pretty special. I know you like him too so why don’t you get it over with and start dating already’, he says and I blush.
The clock tolls two as the boys and I silently run back to their dorm. Neil walks with me as I make my way to my dorm. I open my door before turning to Neil. I put my hand on his arm as I lean up and kiss his cheek.
![[au in which everything happens in Moscow]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1282b4f9be4536c584df462efb5ac34f/tumblr_pvrdunhAdP1wgrqluo1_500.jpg "[au in which everything happens in Moscow]")
![[au in which everything happens in Moscow]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d7ba8ec6f401b8171135564266037e3a/tumblr_pvrdunhAdP1wgrqluo2_1280.jpg "[au in which everything happens in Moscow]")
