#new partner starter pack
I’ve decided that if an ex openly talks badly about me in a way that is false, distorted, or revisionary, if it doesn’t threaten my life too much and I am strong enough, I should probably just let them.
Because I can appreciate that they might need that to feel better about it. It’s so much easier to feel good about leaving a relationship if you can believe that the other person was bad for you, or even bad as a person. I do not personally want to do that, I think I mostly don’t, and I try to critically catch and correct my mind doing it if I slip up. But I can see how it would make things easier.
Within the last few years I’ve slowly managed to get a little better at silently accepting wrong shit said about me, in private and in public. The way my mind works makes it an uphill battle against my insecurities and emotions to not say something to push back against it, so it’s a struggle that’s not even close to finished.
But I’ve realized that if
- it helps my ex to think that I am a bad person, or manipulative, or whatever,
- I still want to treat them as well as I can, and
- I am secure enough that it won’t hurt me to let them believe or spread that about me,
well then why not? Please feel free if that is what you need to do.
