#no srsly my feminism

At the play party tonight, I was sitting on a couch when an attractive guy with glasses initiated a conversation. We chatted a bit, and I asked him about his kinks. When he asked about mine, I mentioned consensual misogyny and that MLAM and I call it “fucking with my feminism.” He said “Adorable,” and I noted that being condescended to is also something I enjoy and teased him about not having negotiated first.

He was interested in the consensual misogyny, so I said he could give it a try. He paused and asked for a prompt. I laughed and said, “This isn’t a real one, but I was going to say ‘Women drivers, amirite?’” He looked thoughtful and then said, with a convincingly angry tone, “It isn’t women drivers. It’s women parkers.” He proceeded to go off about women and parallel parking. He was pretty good, didn’t seem to need to stop and think too much to come up with things to say, and even threw in the word “cunt,” which might have been a bit much for a first interaction with some people, but that’s one of my favorite words.

So, I was enjoying it until we continued talking. He was telling me about how he picked up his last girlfriend after chewing her friend out “for being a feminist.” I wasn’t sure if he was still trying on the consensual misogyny, so I stopped him and said, “For real?” He said, “Yeah,” and told me about his conversation with this girl and started saying things about feminist who put down men. I tried to figure out what he was on about, and at one point he said something very negative about feminism not being right.

I stopped him and said, “So, I don’t do consensual misogyny with men who aren’t feminists, or who don’t at least say ‘I don’t use that word’ when I ask them if they are.” He responded, “Oh then I’m sorry, then. Because I’m, well, anti-feminist.” I was taken aback, and without hesitation, said, “Well, we can’t do that kind of play, then. Because I can’t have any doubt as to whether you actually mean this stuff.” He apologized again.

We kept chatting because, honestly, I was interested to see what he would say. I mentioned my libertarian ex at one point and this guy said, “So, I’m a libertarian.” Color me unsurprised. Also, NOPE. Then, he started going off about Marxism (he was, and this may shock you, not a fan) and bloody revolutions and by that point I was just about done. Luckily, Boy Genius came over and stole me away for what was a great scene.

I learned my lesson. Spend more time talking about ideology and politics with strangers before inviting them to try out consensual misogyny. Maybe they don’t have to be a full fledged feminist or something like that for me to be willing to try it out, but an anti-feminist libertarian is just not the kind of man I’m looking to play with.

PS.
Admittedly, he was good. I was ashamed and embarrassed and only a little confused to find that my panties were wet from listening to a stranger call a woman “cunt” and talk about how awful women are at parking. It stopped being hot when I started thinking he really meant it, but I imagine that there will come a time where I get soaked from real life misogyny, even as I vehemently disagree.