#misogyny kink

This is the blogger formerly known as dyke4dick. I woke up to discover that my blog had been terminated for hate speech. The email quoted the TOS at me: “Don’t post content for the purpose of promoting or inciting the hatred of, or dehumanizing, individuals or groups based on […] gender, gender identity, […] sexual orientation […]” [my redaction for the relevant categories]

I’m not terribly surprised, of course; kink tumblrs get deleted all the time. I’m definitely annoyed, and kind of embarrassed, so unfortunately we all get to listen to me write a five-paragraph essay aboutkink instead of actually having fun engaging inkink.

I’m not gonna try to fight the termination; I had the blog for less than 2 months and am not emotionally attached to it. I did naively fail to save my original content. I was able to rescue 3 long posts through the magic of google, but I think that my original content has actually been hard banned from the site because it’s not there on blogs that I know reblogged it. Which is fun, feeling like my kinks are so horrible that no one should ever even look upon them lest they also be cursed with being a broken human.

For context, if it’s not obvious, my blog was full of hard kinks, most relevantly misogyny, misgendering, forced detransition, rape, corrective rape, and dehumanization. For me these are definitely kinks and not reflective of actual beliefs I have, but I blog in character (as a slightly more broken version of myself) because personally I find constant disclaimers unsexy.

I’ve been worrying since I started the blog about consistent characterization of the character I play - I said above that it’s a “slightly more broken of myself” and that’s the basic idea, but what does it actually believe about women, men, queers, itself? Will people get mad if my kink blog is not 100% ideologically consistent?

I was able to find and just reposted gender identity for fucktoys, which is part of the answer for myself. My actual gender identity and presentation are related in complicated ways to my interaction with this set of kinks. It also means I want to be careful, because I end up relating to content that is denigrating/dehumanizing of groups to which I don’t actually belong. I’m not a woman, I’m not a trans man, and I’m not a sissy, but a lot of ideas in misogyny porn (being useful only as a sex toy by virtue of my anatomy) and ftm misgendering kink (never able to be a real man by virtue of my anatomy) and sissy porn (being inadequate at manhood, unable to please women, and forced to be sexual with men) resonate with me a lot.

This theme comes up a lot in content I see on tumblr - not all women are rapebait, but i sure am. Trans men are men - buti am a fakeboy. Because decent people don’t want to nonconsensually degrade other people, and there’s also an appeal in “I’m not a fucktoy because I am a woman/have a vagina/don’t have a penis; I’m a fucktoy becuase i personally am broken.”

But there’s also a necessary element of essentialism for me in the kink. I think that’s partially because, while I do actually believe I’m broken in a lot of ways, 1) y’all don’t know me and 2) I don’t know that I am capable of eroticizing all of my actual brokenness, and 3) the pieces that I can eroticize I don’t necessarily want to share with everyone. Or anyone. So in a way “i’m inferior because i’m a cunt” is shorthand, gesturing for me at all the ways that I feel inferior and…. creating a safe headspace for that.

Part of the appeal of the essentialism part of this kink for me is that there’s nothing I can do to change it. Issues of worthiness are important to me, and I have a lot of my self-worth wrapped up in various skills and talents I have, and it is really nice to feel that I am useful because – and only because – of something unchanging about my body. I don’t have to be intelligent or eloquent or thoughtful. The idea of being just three holes is a relief.

For me it’s definitely essentialism along gendered/sexed lines, in a complicated way because of being a trans person. I’m not a woman, even in fantasy - that’s kind of a soft limit. But I am “girl” and “cunt” which feel different enough from woman not to trigger the same feelings.

I guess the coherent worldview at base is that there are real men (normal and cis), real women (normal and cis), normal nonbinary people, and then there’s the trashpile for people like me. That’s not exactly what I believe ooc, but it’s close enough to what the fantasy version of me believes.

Look, I don’t know how you could possibly know this about me, but I kind of have issues about authority figures, and tumblr dot com told me I was naughty and was encouraging people to dehumanize women and trans men, which was definitely not my intention; going forward I’ll try to be more clear that I’m only encouraging you to dehumanize me and others who have opted into the gendertrash pile of cunts, whores, sluts, rapemeat, etc.

I guess that sounds a little glib, and it’s really hard not to be a little bit in character at all times, since y’all are not my therapist. But for real. There are hundreds of folks on here begging to be treated like trash, self included. Take us up on that and leave normal people alone. 

And maybe having written out that gigantic pile of words, I’ll be able to get back to the fun part of having an nsfw tumblr?

Part 7

Sunday morning started slowly. Reaction Junkie and I had planned to have anal in the morning, but we’d gotten in very late, stayed up late to play with the kitten, and been woken up during the night by her antics, so there was no anal, sadly. We woke up and played with the kitten for a while. I was supposed to go to Boy Genius’ birthday party that day, and I’d originally planned to leave right after I got up so that I could go home, but I was having such a good time, especially once his friend, Cunt Destroyer (hey, that’s the name she put in my phone when I got her number) got there, that I decided to stay for a while longer before leaving.

While we waited for Cunt Destroyer to get there, Reaction Junkie and I sat in the living room and played with the kitten. Cunt Destroyer arrived and we got introduced to each other. Someone mentioned Starbucks, and I got a craving. There’s a Starbucks right across the way from Reaction Junkie’s apartment building, so I said I was going to get some. Reaction Junkie asked me to get him something, as well, and of course I said I would. I grabbed the keys and headed out the door. Before I left, Reaction Junkie told me, “When you get back, I’m going to be tied up!” I grinned and headed out.

Reaction Junkie had asked me to get him a baked good, and I decided that I deserved one as well. I walked around the grocery store and decided to check the Oreos, hoping, but not expecting, that they would have Mega Stuf Oreos. Much to my surprise and delight, they did! I bought them and headed back to the apartment. When I walked in, Cunt Destroyer had Reaction Junkie in cuffs, of course. I enjoyed getting a chance to watch someone being casually toppy towards him, since that was something I’d been wanting. It was helpful to see how she handled complaints of things being too hard or too painful.

I especially enjoyed it because she’s fucking awesome. She’s into consensual misogyny/has a misogyny kink, and I always like meeting people who share that kink. Also, she’s Jewish, so she has a Nazi fetish, obviously. In addition, she works two interesting jobs: stripper and EMT. We definitely share a sense of humor, and like similar things, kink-wise. For instance, when Reaction Junkie told her about the play I’m not allowed to talk about, she was totally into it and proclaimed it “sweet” of him. Which I totally agree with, despite the fact that other people would call it “disturbing” or “fucked up.”

After a little while, another one of Reaction Junkie’s friends came by. We all talked and played with the kitten, and the three of us were kinda toppy/dommy towards him. At one point, Reaction Junkie was laying on the floor with his hands cuffed in front of him. He commented to me, “You could cuff my arms behind my back.” I gave him a look and said, “You’re right. I could.” I sighed at him in faux-annoyance and told him he should probably ask for things he wants instead of being coy. Then I obviously grabbed a key and cuffed his hands behind his back. When I went to sit back down, I stepped on him and heard him make a little noise, which made me smile. I sat down and put my feet on him, using him as a footstool. I enjoyed that. He’s a comfortable person.

By this point, it was a little past when I would have needed to leave to go to Boy Genius’ birthday. I was having such a good time, didn’t really feel up to driving or being with a big group, and wanted to get to know these people better. I’m a bit sad I missed it, especially because there was laser tag and I would have gotten to see The Violinist, but I’m even more happy that I stayed because I had a fantastic day with Reaction Junkie and everyone else.

I haven’t been engaging in consensual misogyny/fulfilling my misogyny kink very much lately. I miss it. I got some misogyny when I played with Legolas last week, I talked about it with Cunt Destroyer on Sunday and Reaction Junkie teased a bit of it, asking for someone to apologize on behalf of their gender, which I did, and then I got to Skype with The Super Sadist last night and we touched on it. All of that was very hot.

It’s not that I haven’t been being degraded and humiliated. Of course I have. And I’ve been hurt and scared and used. It’s incredibly satisfying and I don’t feel like I’m not getting what I want. I’d be quite happy to continue with the things I’ve been doing.

It’s not exactly the same as having the context of male superiority, female inferiority, oppression of women, of being submissive and obedient to all men, etc., though. I don’t need that, necessarily, or want to do it all the time, but the bit I’ve gotten lately has whetted my appetite for more.

I shall have to ask my partners to remind me of my place as a woman and their place as men, above me. I want to be forced to say that I deserve the treatment I get, that women are asking for it, that I want to be used and hurt, that I’m a dumb cunt for wanting those things, that I’m only valuable for the things men want me for.

I need to be told that I’m lesser, a silly little girl, a set of holes to fuck and flesh to beat, just a cunt. We wouldn’t want me getting any ideas that I’m an equally valuable member of society, now would we?

I’ve always wanted to do a couples costume with someone, and this year I get to do two!

For the parties tonight, I’m going to be a feminist and he’s going to be an MRA. I have to admit I find it hot when he acts like a pretentious, condescending, sexist douche. I’m looking forward to having our usual switching back and forth plus the added feminist vs. MRA dynamic.

For the parties tomorrow, I’m going to be a Catholic schoolgirl and he’s going to be a teacher. I’m eagerly and evilly anticipating acting like a high schooler and making him just a bit uncomfortable. And of course, retaliatory spankings.

This is going to be the best Halloween I’ve had in a good while. I’m so excited!

littlegirlfuckpig:

devotionaltraining:

smartnslutty:

I’m experimenting and exploring. Like most people, I post what I like. I will not post pictures of myself.

I’m a well-educated professional in the Chicago area.

I like the idea of females being treated differently than males, in that males could own them and females would be treated like objects or pets. I know this is not realistic, and of course not how I think the world should be, but it’s something I like to fantasize about.

I’m liberal and religious, believe in equal treatment of people, and support movements toward justice.

However, it really turns me on to think about a man (my boss, boyfriend, or a stranger) telling me what I can and can’t do. Maybe he wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom for hours at work and would make me drink water all day.

I love the idea of there being a dress code for women, for work, for the gym, for the pool, etc. In a perfect world, we would be forced to dress sexy at work, in miniskirts, extremely low-cut tops, and super high heels, which I hate, but as a female, I would have to do things I don’t want to do all time. Undergarments would be limited to push-up peek-a-boo bras, tiny thongs, or nothing at all. There would be no such thing as sexual harassment at work. Women could be hired as office sluts and men would be allowed to touch or grope any female co-worker. Women cannot refuse any advance, and would be punished for refusing, however the boss or co-worker sees fit. Even an underling can punish a female, even if she is his boss. He may take part or all of her clothing, invite others to help gang bang her, or take embarrassing pictures of her for the company website.

At the gym, we should have to wear a tiny bra and shorts (like a bikini) or nothing at all. While at the gym and on the machines (especially the ones that make you spread your legs or lift them in the air), men would be allowed to touch and grope us, even reach inside our clothing. There would be no bathroom for women at the gym (maybe even none in public at all). We are forced to hold it while working out, even as the machines make us put more pressure on our bladders. The men would be well-aware that we have to pee, and would tease our pee holes and press on our bladders. If we leak at all or have an accident, we would get punished with smacks to the pussy and getting gang raped.

With regards to our dress code, we should be forced to wear underwear and swimsuits that are about 2 or 3 sizes too small. The bottoms would probably not cover my whole ass (I have a big ass), and creep inside my pussy and ass cracks, giving me a double wedgie. I would hate it, but it wouldn’t be a choice I get to make.

Devotional Training: It’s learning.

What a wonderful fantasy.

This was super hot to read.

I still am having trouble getting turned on or even not being annoyed or bored by consensual misogyny/misogyny kink. I used to be so into it, and now I have a hard time finding stuff on tumblr in that genre that does it for me.

Part of it is not liking just how…mean? a lot of it was. Like, gratuitously insulting and negative. That can be part of it, but seeing so many “See this is what you stupid fucking cunts are for!!!!!” type things just isn’t appealing. I find myself much less bothered by more benevolent sexism things, or things that are condescending or infantilizing. But I’m still not super into it.

Then I read this, and it was such a turn on. I think I miss seeing creative forms of misogyny kink, especially ones written by women. So much of what I see is dudes writing it, and mostly short and repetitive captions. Some of the stuff I see by women is also repetitive, but I have to admit that seeing that sort of thing written by a woman bothers me less.

Obviously women can still be general misogynists who actually think those things, but it just feels more likely with dudes. And it’s not very interesting to read something misogynistic by a guy who thinks about all women that way all the time. They’re just writing their thoughts, not coming up with anything original.

Anyway, thank you for sharing this fantasy!

At the play party tonight, I was sitting on a couch when an attractive guy with glasses initiated a conversation. We chatted a bit, and I asked him about his kinks. When he asked about mine, I mentioned consensual misogyny and that MLAM and I call it “fucking with my feminism.” He said “Adorable,” and I noted that being condescended to is also something I enjoy and teased him about not having negotiated first.

He was interested in the consensual misogyny, so I said he could give it a try. He paused and asked for a prompt. I laughed and said, “This isn’t a real one, but I was going to say ‘Women drivers, amirite?’” He looked thoughtful and then said, with a convincingly angry tone, “It isn’t women drivers. It’s women parkers.” He proceeded to go off about women and parallel parking. He was pretty good, didn’t seem to need to stop and think too much to come up with things to say, and even threw in the word “cunt,” which might have been a bit much for a first interaction with some people, but that’s one of my favorite words.

So, I was enjoying it until we continued talking. He was telling me about how he picked up his last girlfriend after chewing her friend out “for being a feminist.” I wasn’t sure if he was still trying on the consensual misogyny, so I stopped him and said, “For real?” He said, “Yeah,” and told me about his conversation with this girl and started saying things about feminist who put down men. I tried to figure out what he was on about, and at one point he said something very negative about feminism not being right.

I stopped him and said, “So, I don’t do consensual misogyny with men who aren’t feminists, or who don’t at least say ‘I don’t use that word’ when I ask them if they are.” He responded, “Oh then I’m sorry, then. Because I’m, well, anti-feminist.” I was taken aback, and without hesitation, said, “Well, we can’t do that kind of play, then. Because I can’t have any doubt as to whether you actually mean this stuff.” He apologized again.

We kept chatting because, honestly, I was interested to see what he would say. I mentioned my libertarian ex at one point and this guy said, “So, I’m a libertarian.” Color me unsurprised. Also, NOPE. Then, he started going off about Marxism (he was, and this may shock you, not a fan) and bloody revolutions and by that point I was just about done. Luckily, Boy Genius came over and stole me away for what was a great scene.

I learned my lesson. Spend more time talking about ideology and politics with strangers before inviting them to try out consensual misogyny. Maybe they don’t have to be a full fledged feminist or something like that for me to be willing to try it out, but an anti-feminist libertarian is just not the kind of man I’m looking to play with.

PS.
Admittedly, he was good. I was ashamed and embarrassed and only a little confused to find that my panties were wet from listening to a stranger call a woman “cunt” and talk about how awful women are at parking. It stopped being hot when I started thinking he really meant it, but I imagine that there will come a time where I get soaked from real life misogyny, even as I vehemently disagree.

U r all so lovely and depraved and I love how much u all get into misogyny and cruelty to women. It’s so fucked up and sexy. It’s almost always ridiculously hot too scroll down my dash and see all the rape and degradation and humiliation and pain and suffering being inflicted on women.

That said, tonight imma bring a boy over to my place, make him cook and clean four me, have him eat me out and get me off, push his head down on my dildo, hurt him, and then fuck him in the ass. And I’m going to enjoy the fuck out of it, as will he.

cumherebitch replied to your photoset

This is so backwards.

I was just thinking about how the audience for my tumblr might transition from people who like misogyny kink to people who like femdom-esque stuff.  I wondered, “Are any of the people who don’t grok the difference between fantasy and reality going to come and complain about my dominating a dude, like it’s actually wrong and not just wrong in the context of misogyny kink?” 

And tumblr, you did not disappoint. 

Consensual misogyny is only rarely doing it for me. In person, from people I know, I’ve been enjoying it still, but on my dash it’s either neutral or annoying.

I’m just more into individually focused degradation and name calling, ignoring preferences, ownership, shaming, agency denying, and violence based captions, especially coming from dudes I don’t know.

It’s okay, of course. My kinks are allowed to change.

I don’t want to stop doing it with people I know, and I haven’t given up on finding some aspects of it via tumblr hot (longer form stories and well composed captions are much more appealing than random one liners about “its” place or women being dumb or feminists being awful), but I think without a broader context of fucking with my feminism, and now that my fantasies are more fucked up, the shine has gone out of it.

I’m totally open to attempts to change that from fellow misogyny kinkers, obvs. ;)

This weekend, Reaction Junkie and I were talking about the future and he called me “Mrs. Hislastname.” I opened my mouth to protest that I wasn’t going to take his name, but instead I made a little noise and quivered. He laughed and said, “You almost came from  that, didn’t you, Mrs.Hislastname?” I couldn’t deny it. 

I feel like some of my old stuff is going around again, so I wanted to make it clear for new people. I’m really really really not into consensual misogyny/misogyny kink anymore. Don’t send me messages trying to engage me, personally, in your consensual misogyny. I wouldn’t have responded well to that kind attempt at initiating private conversation even when I was into it. Feel free to message me! But, as I’ve always said, talk to me like how people talk to each other.

After here this post kind of turns into me sharing my Thoughts and Feelings about consensual misogyny and the people who engage in it.

I don’t have a problem with people being into it. You do you! But for me, I’m not neutral about it. Running into it, especially unexpectedly, is almost always a negative for me. Depending on the content (and the creator), it grates on me, makes me uncomfortable, pisses me off, leaves me kind of sad, annoys me, or, to be honest, makes me feel weird feels and miss that version of me who was into very into things and was super active on tumblr.

There are certain people I still follow or enjoy seeing around, but that’s from when I was active and I know some of who they are as people (hello friends!). That’s not so much what I’m talking about. They aren’t the ones who bother me, and they weren’t part of my loss of interest in this kink.

There are also some creative and intelligent newer people (mostly women, as far as I can tell) who post actual content that isn’t boring or repetitive. Y'all are fantastic! And I always appreciate getting a mention from one of you, or seeing you add your own thoughts to my old posts. I may not want to read it for sexy or fun reasons anymore, but I can appreciate the quality of the posts and the thought you put into it (this goes the same for old friends and acquaintances). These kinds of things also aren’t negative for me.

What bothers me most and what is negative for me, are posts and messages from a particular kind of person (they tend to be men, as far as I can tell) into consensual misogyny/misogyny kink. They are the people whose contributions consist mainly of posting things like “cunt” under pictures, or calling women “it” randomly, or who seem to be mainly interested in this kink for the physical violence of it (which, sure, is fun, but there’s so much more to this kink if you approach it with thought and intelligence! Plus, just talking about beating women without any other context isn’t very interesting).

This repetitive and mindless content -did- contribute to my move away from consensual misogyny. Particularly because these seem to be the same kind of person who isn’t great at the “consensual” part of consensual misogyny.

This ended up being much longer than I meant it to, oops. I have things to say, I suppose. I guess my point is that I want to make it clear that I’m not interested in engaging in misogyny kink, and although I appreciate certain posts from certain people, I’m actively disinterested and turned off by a lot of what’s out there. So please, don’t message me with your attempts to engage me in it.

dumbbigtittedslut wrote something that really made me think a lot about my consensual misogyny play/misogyny kink. Before I go into my navel-gazing, I wanted to make sure to say that this is super well-written and, if I was in a different place with my kinks, would have turned me on like whoa. DBTS, you’re an excellent writer.

As I wrote in an earlier post, I haven’t been doing much consensual misogyny lately. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think a large part of it is that the person I did the most intense play of that kind with was MLAM, and we basically stopped playing together. The Super Sadist and I also played with consensual misogyny, but in a very different way than I did with MLAM, with a different focus, and we’ve both gotten busy. The Marxist poked at that button, and did so well, but we don’t play anymore. Legolas and I are both into it, and we still use it, but, again, in a different way than I engaged with it with MLAM. It’s definitely not an all-consuming context that seeps into most things I do.

I’ve been realizing (and this post really drove the point home) that in addition to not doing very much of it, I also haven’t been getting turned on by it or masturbating to it, which, of course, plays back in to not doing it as often with others. I’m sure one reason is the simple fact that I haven’t been playing that way, and have been engaging lots of other kinks that draw my focus, like the death threats, violence, pregnancy risk/forced pregnancy, weapons, gaslighting, being owned, abuse fantasies/abusive relationship kink, etc. Some of those do draw from consensual misogyny and have threads of it running through, especially the pregnancy risk/forced pregnancy, ownership, and mentally/emotionally/physically abusive relationship kinks, but they aren’t quite the same.

Another part of it is that there were aspects of misogyny kink that always made me a little uncomfortable (especially people I don’t “know”/follow reblogging my stuff and adding their own comments, and even more so when they have no disclaimers in their info), and without people helping me to push past that, or use it against me, the discomfort has increased, and not in a sexy way. I always saw playing with misogyny as something I did as part of my feminism, taking the fucked up parts of society and turning them to my purposes, taking away their power. When I’m not actively participating by writing things myself, having a partner encourage me to write/think/speak about it or within the context of it, having a partner, or someone I know or at least whose tumblr I enjoy say and do things to me, or having someone give me a misogyny kink context to consume things from, it feels much more like I’m just seeing trying to be edgy, run of the mill sexists writing things. That’s not hot; it’s icky and kinda boring.

Like I said, the context MLAM created was a heady thing, and I feel the urge to see if I can recapture some of those intoxicating feelings. If it works, great, if not, that’s cool, too. I’ll talk to some partners about it, of course, ask if they’ll use more misogynistic language when they talk to me, see if they’re interested in having me be polite to men who say stupid shit to me or, at least, ask their permission before flaming them, and/or do other things that create more of a context outside of just playtime. I’m not expecting, and don’t necessarily even want, it to be like it was with MLAM, but having a consensual misogyny headspace I can slip into and use to contextualize other kinks is a useful thing. It’s not urgent, and before/as I’m doing that, I’ll do some of my own work making misogyny hot again.

There are a number of things I can do myself. I’m going to try to write more captions and have more fantasies that draw from my misogyny kink. I’ll especially try to use the language that used to really get me going. Fucktoy, cunt, bitch, fuckhole. Talk about the fact that what I’m for is to be used by men, that all women are for that, some just are smart enough to know that fact. Remind myself that I should be grateful for anything a man is willing to do to me, whether it’s fuck my cunt or as, use my mouth, cum all over my face, or even just use me as a urinal. Keep in mind that I’m a fucktoy for the pleasure and entertainment for all men, and especially for the men who own me or use me on a regular basis. Admit that I deserve all the pain and punishment and suffering those men generously inflict upon me.

Hell, it’s already working a bit. Writing this last bit did indeed make my fuckhole clench.

Feeling nostalgic for the days when I was into consensual misogyny/misogyny kink. Because I used to be so into it, and now my initial response to misogyny kink captions when I’m just skimming my feed is, “Sigh. Not my kink,” and occasionally have a negative reaction, like, “Seriously? Ugh.” (Not to say I think there’s anything wrong with finding it hot! You do you.) I think part of that is just not being on tumblr much, so I don’t really pay attention. I’m not thinking about things as “sexy captions” or “tumblr porn,” so I’m not really looking at it with that context in mind.

I feel like I could still get into it if I were in the right headspace. I’m thinking maybe having some item I put on to focus myself on being in that mindset, then having someone making me repeat misogynistic things that they say/agree with the things they’re saying while I masturbate could do the trick.

My Wickr Me is subbyftmgirl if anyone wants it or wants to send me stuff

Patriarchy and male domination is so hot to me because no matter how much I try to outrun it, I have a pussy, and a pussy is literally designed to take cock. A female must spread her legs, be open and vunerable for sex to work. A cock is literally designed to go inside of a pussy, a female has a literal hole for a male to enter. And a womb is made to create and grow children, but in order for that to happen, a man must get turned on and have his cock hard, and then push in and out of a vagina until he comes and ejaculates inside of it. Cumming is pleasurable, and so a pussy is designed to worship and pleasure a cock so it’ll cum. We feel good for men. A woman doesn’t need to cum or feel any pleasure in order to be impregnated. The goal of sex, biologically, is to make the man feel as good as possible. And then once he’s cum and impregnated a woman, he doesn’t have to do anymore work. Whereas we as women will be forced to have our bodies change, grow, and adapt to give life to that man’s child. Our stomachs grow, our breasts fill with milk, we permantly change. We have to do endless work, whereas a man just needs to feel good and cum.

Our bodies were made for male pleasure, so we can make them feel good enough to cum and breed us. Not to mention how men are just naturally stronger and more assertive. If that isn’t proof enough that men are supposed to dominate, that they are biologically superior, then I don’t know what is.

yeah edging is cute but how about forcing her to cum so many times she passes out and convulses and her body shuts down