#not giving up
1.) “There are no coincidences in life. What person that wandered in and out of your life was there for some purpose, even if they caused you harm. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense the short periods of time we get with people, or the outcomes from their choices. However, if you turn it over to God he promises that you will see the big picture in the hereafter. Nothing is too small to be a mistake.” ― Shannon L. Alder
2.) Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in installments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day’s success.” ― Israelmore Ayivor
3.) “One of the most powerful lessons in life is to recognize that no one can give you power, and many people don’t want you to have it. You have to find the courage to seize it, own it and hold on!” ― Shannon L. Alder
4.) “I cannot give up chasing after happiness simply because there might be pain down the road.”
― Jennifer Beckstrand
5.) “I just hope that one day, in one gloriously farcical moment I will be taken completely by surprise. I hope that I trip and fall. And when that day comes I hope that all of the doom and gloom that fill my black balloon will burst and ignite something so beautiful, so overwhelming that I find myself seeing beauty in the ugliest of places.” ― Kendal Rob
6.) I have no fucking idea what I want. Not just now in adulthood, but as a kid I did not feel allowed to dream. So, I didn’t. Never was a long-term planner, either. In my teens, somewhere around age 16, my junior year of high school, when staying away from home, busy in theater productions, was both my safe haven and my therapy, that is the one time I knew what I wanted, and what I was good at. When considering colleges, we looked for those with the best theater programs. So, I went to school for Dramatic Arts, and minored in English.
I had one small, humble dream for myself but never openly spoke about it. There were, however, two other people who knew, and one of them belittled and ridiculed me to such heights of insecurity and failure—which I believed as I thought they knew what was good for me—I took their abuse as gospel and stopped pursuing my dream and believing I was capable of doing anything at all. A fear of success is the most hideous and grotesque creature: it wants so badly to be beautiful and fruitful but it is fearful of everything: attention, accolades, losing friends, being popular, being teased, rising above others and being alone. Mostly I became terrified of sticking out in any way because of being different, better, talented. Any measure of success or notoriety made me nauseous. I stopped acting, once out of college, turned to work as a way of denying my abilities and did not allow myself any real pleasure for a couple decades. I turned 51 earlier this week and that shit has long stopped. I write, people like it. I sing, people like it. I act, lead, parent, dress differently than most women I know, decorate, create, assist, consult, dazzle, steal-the-show, am usually the life-of-the-party—and people still like me. Yet I feel small, humble, just no longer fearful. If they’re jealous, I don’t hear about it. Contrary to what I was threatened with, I am not alone, I am not unloved or chastised or belittled (at least not to my face), or less-than everyone else, and I am not frozen in terror, because my Self attracts ridiculous amounts of attention. Not all invited, I might add. I was raised to be someone else’s version of me: the version that made *them* comfortable. It was not the skin I was meant to wear. Hard lesson. Not going back to being afraid. And not abandoning myself ever again. Don’t give up.—Me
Agent 355
