#not nice
It sure has been… a year… For the first time after doing so many of these, I don’t see much of a difference in quality/draftsmanship between the stuff I did at the beginning vs. the end of the year. I don’t think I’m gonna have many dramatic jumps in draftsmanship anymore… but my style is still evolving to places that I like.
longer reflection and goals under the cut
Jan - Working really hard on those 3rd year projects. I’m still really proud of how my multiplane pan and action analysis turned out.
Feb - ?? probably doing group film stuff, still feeling fine. loving kenshi yonezu as usual
March - more school stuff. Getting into working out my thesis story too that was really exciting!
April - I died from the end of school and then…
May - NO REST! right into summer co-op job and commuting life. I learned what it meant to pace yourself and that you can’t do everything while working full time. I made time to do fanart to avoid going insane.
June - same thing
July - finally had a break. very much needed
August - Prepping and tabling for Fanexpo was very exciting and fun! I had a great time making new merch and tabling with friends.
Sept - Beginning production of my thesis film-! Exciting but also scary
Oct - I fell into BTS hell and still remain there. No regrets here. Those boys are just too good. Tabled at Kimikon, it was a good break from school.
Nov - mental health took a bad plunge… I spent most of the month trying to recover, so the only art I did was film stuff lmao.
Dec - it’s been a better month.
This year kept trying to kill me in my personal life, but bich I lived. In terms of art, I feel like this year is the most apathetic I’ve been. I’ve gotten to a place where I feel pretty satisfied with my skill level, and even though I definitely have way more room for improvement, I don’t have this desire to work toward arbitrarily getting better anymore. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing. At the very least, I don’t feel this burning sense of competition anymore toward other artists that would cause me so much stress in the past. I’ll probably plateau, but I think I’m ok with that. I want some kind of personal project to keep me going instead.
I really just want to push my style and tastes even more and do self indulgent things, even it may be against the things I’ve learned in school. It’d be nice to make something longer form, like a comic, like I’ve talked about every year.. hah…
Goals, even if they might not be met:
- be a self indulgent bich
- tell your stories - i would really like to build up the courage to post my personal comics, and polish them more instead of them just leaving them as shitty drawings.
- do more traditional art
- live while still remembering what i like about doing art.
Since I’m finishing school next year, the future is just a black mass right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s exciting, but I’m mostly just terrified. I’m hoping that my job won’t kill my desire to create personal artwork. I’ll try my very best to keep remembering why I make art in the first place.
I hope 2019 will be a little kinder to me.
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