#not so neurotypical
So, Last Night.
I spent my first ever July 4th (not to be confused with the 4th of July, the white supremacist holiday. July 4th, the boom boom day.) wearing earmuffs the entire time.
I live in Florida, USA. I was casually told it’s ‘not a big deal’ and to 'get over it, it’s nothing serious’ and 'take them off, are you hard-headed?’
I’ve been to a gun range, and these earmuffs are to protect ears from loud, close, repeated gunfire. Yet my ears still hurt from the fireworks being set off about 20 to 30 feet away from me.
Now, why did I decide to wear them? While normally it’s none of your business, I’m feeling generous. I was dealing with a lot of sensory overload (SO) yesterday and everything felt extremely disorienting and my hand tremors were especially bad because of the overload.
I just wanted to enjoy the fireworks because I love them. I was playing with sparklers and just other small things (didn’t even play with poppers bc no). I wore these earmuffs because other people’s fireworks were loud so I knew having them go off so close would be even louder.
Let me tell you, I had people try to pull them off of me. I was fighting to wear these earmuffs while being burned by stray embers from the fireworks. I lost my voice yelling at people and being embarrassed and shamed by my family (for more reason than just the earmuffs, but I digress).
My cousin, who was also wearing earmuffs (he has autism and doesn’t do well with loud noises or rapid flashing lights (the lights part is medical reasons)), wasn’t told anything. He was laughed at a bit bc 'haha, you’ll be fine.’ No one tried to force the earmuffs off of him.
You might be thinking “yeah but he had an actual reason, that people knew about.” I told them about my sensory overload, and how I was feeling like hell. They kept trying to get them off.
Where am I going with all of this?
Well outside of my family being ableist af, non-understanding, bigoted assholes, PEOPLE SHOULD BE VALIDATED.
Even if I wasn’t dealing with SO, I should be able to wear earmuffs even if just because I wanted to. You wouldn’t tell a man he can’t wear a chain around his neck. Why is that? Because it doesn’t affect you! So SHUT UP and let me wear earmuffs on the boom boom day!
I’ve always tried to be accepting of people, and take them at their word with disabilities or even just adjustments. You have trouble talking to people and want to make an order? I can help with that. Will I ask why? No. Whether it’s a speech disability or just feeling shy, I don’t care. It’s not my business.
As someone who passes well as neurotypical, I’ve experienced ableism before. But usually just “it’s not a big deal, just tell [cashier] what you want” or other 'minor’ things like that. Never quite like what happened last night.
No words can describe the levels of discomfort and anger I felt with the entire situation.
To all the people that laugh at people that ask you to tell the cashier their order, or the ones that ask you to please try to keep it down if it’s no trouble: Stop laughing. If you claim to respect people with any form of disability, stop. Simply accommodate. You laughing and mocking them? It makes you the idiot. You’re the asshole. You’re behaving in ableist manners. Just accommodate silently. Ask them if there’s anything else you can do to make them more comfortable. Don’t laugh because they’re “so shy” or “can’t talk to anybody.” Don’t mock them by saying it’s a “public space” to try to 'justify’ why you’re so loud. They’re aware of that. They’re just asking if you could help make it a safe public space for everyone. Everyone, not just the neurotypicals.
Sorry for the long vent/rant, I needed this off my mind.
