Ok this is gonna be a more serious post but I wanna put this out there. If you constantly convey to another person that you perceive them as a failure or only praise them when they fall in line with your expectations of who they should be, you suck.
Having boundaries and separating yourself from people who don’t treat you well is not the same as you treating people poorly until they fit your expectations of what you think they should be. It isn’t a boundary it’s hurtful. Don’t be surprised if that person lashes out and goes against you because if you already reinforced the idea that they already messed up then eventually they’ll stop caring about pleasing you or they won’t and they’ll run themselves into the ground trying.
a lil personal update copied from my patreon since i feel like even though i hate discussing feelings n stuff it’s probably important for me to be upfront with you all about things sending endless amounts of love to those who have shown me so much kindness and support here ❤❤❤
hi friends. I know I don’t post here as much as I should but I just need to get this out somewhere. I’m struggling today and I don’t know why.
This is the first time in a long time it’s been like this. Intensely dark thoughts out of nowhere and I don’t know why or what to do. I’m just scared and I needed say it. Could use some good vibes.
▪ Wowwww, okay, my first drabble I hope you enjoy, also, thank you soo much to my wonderful beta-reader Barby @barbyisafangirl for helping me fix this thing because some screws were certainly loose-
How many days has it been since he last saw you? Three? You’ve been gone, again. Yoongi had been trying to talk to you but you just seem to not be here anymore.
He was sick of it, tired of your relationship. It was like he was moving in endless circles, the cycles were never-ending, and left his heart only hurting more each and every try. As much as he loved you, as much as he was willing to keep waiting for your return, you’d always go running back to him.
Hearing the front door open, he climbed off the couch and ran to you. You looked better already, perhaps Jimin had given you more advice on how to deal with relationships. Your disheveled appearance, swollen lips… it all ignited a new wave of nerves for him. Shaking his head a little, he took a deep breath. He had to confront you now, try once more.
Maybe you were going to leave the house again. Maybe this time, you wouldn’t come back for days.
nothing felt okay. this wasn’t unusual, per se, however it didn’t negate just how frustrating it was to have a whole day wasted by your own mind. relaying the same negative thoughts, over and over and over again.
you’re never going to get better, the medications don’t do shit, nothing will help, you’re nothing, you’re nothing, you’re worthless-
“hey.”
a weight pressed atop your shoulder. fluffy, ash blonde locks tickled at your ears. katsuki’s eyes bored into yours, his reflection in the mirror stoic and concerned. warm hands gently placed against your waist, grounding you. settling you.
In memory of Jaxon Finch Blu who performed as Royale E Blu and was known as Jay @siriussly-serious here on Tumblr, we’re raising money for Raze Collective and Chrysalis - Gender Identity Matters, to support other queer performers and support the mental health of trans people in his area.
I understand not everyone is in a position to be able to donate, look after yourselves loves, but please share this post far and wide to spread the word.
Thank you to everyone who has donated so far and to all who attended Jay’s Farewell livestream. For anyone who missed it, you can catch it here.
[ID: A photo of Jaxon, a Black trans man, wearing red eyeshadow and a black pocket tee with rose detail. He has his tongue out with a small blue heart candy on it and stands in front of a white wall with vinyl records on it. Logos for Raze Collective and Chrysalis - GIM are overlayed, and the text “In Memory of @siriussly-serious 11.03.1995 - 15.05.2021”]
We’re still raising in Jay’s name until the 25th July, so that everyone who wants to donate has the chance to wait for payday if they need to. At the time of writing we’ve raised £482 for Chrysalis GIM and I don’t have a current total for Raze Collective but it was £125 a few days ago. This is incredible, more than I ever expected so thank you everyone who’s donated so far <3
In memory of Jaxon Finch Blu who performed as Royale E Blu and was known as Jay @siriussly-serious here on Tumblr, we’re raising money for Raze Collective and Chrysalis - Gender Identity Matters, to support other queer performers and support the mental health of trans people in his area.
I understand not everyone is in a position to be able to donate, look after yourselves loves, but please share this post far and wide to spread the word.
Thank you to everyone who has donated so far and to all who attended Jay’s Farewell livestream. For anyone who missed it, you can catch it here.
[ID: A photo of Jaxon, a Black trans man, wearing red eyeshadow and a black pocket tee with rose detail. He has his tongue out with a small blue heart candy on it and stands in front of a white wall with vinyl records on it. Logos for Raze Collective and Chrysalis - GIM are overlayed, and the text “In Memory of @siriussly-serious 11.03.1995 - 15.05.2021”]
Due to the short notice, it won’t be the grand affair I’d like it to be, but we’ll do our best. The stream will mostly be pre-written eulogies and memories but we hope to have a moment where we can include some stories from the comments.
We’re also raising donations in his name for Chrysalis - Gender Identity Matters and Raze Collective. Chrysalis - GIM offer online and in-person mental health support for trans and nonbinary people in the area where he lived. Raze Collective support LGBTQIA+ performers which is more needed than ever given the events of the last year+.
[ID: Cartoonised photo of Jay wearing round glasses and his daughter in a leather jacket, both smiling with tongue’s out and hands held up in ‘rock on’ signs. Text overlayed reads: “Jay’s Farewell, 6 pm BST, Friday 25th June 2021″]
People on Tiktok: Because of shifting I didn’t feel happy in my CR anymore and lost touch with reality. I dissociated and never felt satisfied with this reality. I lost my sense of self. This is the bad part of reality shifting :/
Me, on the floor, curled up and sobbing: WHY DIDNT YOU STOP SHIFTING. WHY DID YOU KEEP DOING IT. WHYYYYY
If shifting is causing any harm to your mental state then don’t try to shift! If you’re feeling disconnected from your reality or having other negative symptoms, stop shifting!
Shifting is supposed to be a like a temporary vacation that doesn’t affect your home life. If it is affecting you (negatively) here, then something is wrong.
I spent my first ever July 4th (not to be confused with the 4th of July, the white supremacist holiday. July 4th, the boom boom day.) wearing earmuffs the entire time.
I live in Florida, USA. I was casually told it’s ‘not a big deal’ and to 'get over it, it’s nothing serious’ and 'take them off, are you hard-headed?’
I’ve been to a gun range, and these earmuffs are to protect ears from loud, close, repeated gunfire. Yet my ears still hurt from the fireworks being set off about 20 to 30 feet away from me.
Now, why did I decide to wear them? While normally it’s none of your business, I’m feeling generous. I was dealing with a lot of sensory overload (SO) yesterday and everything felt extremely disorienting and my hand tremors were especially bad because of the overload.
I just wanted to enjoy the fireworks because I love them. I was playing with sparklers and just other small things (didn’t even play with poppers bc no). I wore these earmuffs because other people’s fireworks were loud so I knew having them go off so close would be even louder.
Let me tell you, I had people try to pull them off of me. I was fighting to wear these earmuffs while being burned by stray embers from the fireworks. I lost my voice yelling at people and being embarrassed and shamed by my family (for more reason than just the earmuffs, but I digress).
My cousin, who was also wearing earmuffs (he has autism and doesn’t do well with loud noises or rapid flashing lights (the lights part is medical reasons)), wasn’t told anything. He was laughed at a bit bc 'haha, you’ll be fine.’ No one tried to force the earmuffs off of him.
You might be thinking “yeah but he had an actual reason, that people knew about.” I told them about my sensory overload, and how I was feeling like hell. They kept trying to get them off.
Where am I going with all of this?
Well outside of my family being ableist af, non-understanding, bigoted assholes, PEOPLE SHOULD BE VALIDATED.
Even if I wasn’t dealing with SO, I should be able to wear earmuffs even if just because I wanted to. You wouldn’t tell a man he can’t wear a chain around his neck. Why is that? Because it doesn’t affect you! So SHUT UP and let me wear earmuffs on the boom boom day!
I’ve always tried to be accepting of people, and take them at their word with disabilities or even just adjustments. You have trouble talking to people and want to make an order? I can help with that. Will I ask why? No. Whether it’s a speech disability or just feeling shy, I don’t care. It’s not my business.
As someone who passes well as neurotypical, I’ve experienced ableism before. But usually just “it’s not a big deal, just tell [cashier] what you want” or other 'minor’ things like that. Never quite like what happened last night.
No words can describe the levels of discomfort and anger I felt with the entire situation.
To all the people that laugh at people that ask you to tell the cashier their order, or the ones that ask you to please try to keep it down if it’s no trouble: Stop laughing. If you claim to respect people with any form of disability, stop. Simply accommodate. You laughing and mocking them? It makes you the idiot. You’re the asshole. You’re behaving in ableist manners. Just accommodate silently. Ask them if there’s anything else you can do to make them more comfortable. Don’t laugh because they’re “so shy” or “can’t talk to anybody.” Don’t mock them by saying it’s a “public space” to try to 'justify’ why you’re so loud. They’re aware of that. They’re just asking if you could help make it a safe public space for everyone. Everyone, not just the neurotypicals.
Sorry for the long vent/rant, I needed this off my mind.
My mental and physical health have been rapidly declining over the past couple of years. Working two stressful jobs, not knowing what’s wrong with me, and not getting my art noticed out there is taking its toll on me and I just feel like dying everyday.
Sigh. I’m tired. Sick and tired. I don’t know how much longer I can do this, man. I’m so depressed to the point that I can’t even cry anymore.
It’sthatbad, I know. Haha.
Anyway on a positive note, I’ve recently reached 1,800 followers and that really lifted my spirits! You guys are frickin’ awesome and I need to do another gift for y'all soon!
So here’s what I’m planning to do: Another followers gift. I think I want it to be something for kids (toddlers included) this time. Waddaya think? Feel free to send me some suggestions and ideas!
And after that. Log off and take a dang hiatus from Tumblr and start trying to take better care of myself and see a doctor, lolz.
Hope you have a lovely whatevertimewhereeveryouare and thanks for understanding!
Warnings: stepcest (reader is a young stepmom (30) & Reiner (24) is her stepson), female-bodied reader, short-coded reader, hurt/comfort/smut, infidelity, mentioned past suicide attempt, depression & anxiety, therapy, a lot of nipple and breast play, induced lactation and adult nursing, explicit sexual content, Rei is strong enough to lift you, sneaking around, handjobs, fingering, vaginal sex, mommy kink, mentioned breeding kink, general softness, bathing, heavy conversation, nobody gets caught, ending is happy but not resolved
A/N: this fic upturned my life for several days, and now it is here. big thank you’s to @whats-her-quirkand@ghost-party for reading and editing and being generally wonderful, and an extra big thank you to @itsleese for putting up with all my questions about milk and breastfeeding in general. you are a saint. every woman is different and blah blah blah but i definitely felt better having your perspective.
anyway, everyone knows i adore reiner and just want him to be okay, and i, uh, really accessed that part of me while writing this fic or something. okay, enjoy~
Everything about this story is so engaging and weird and hot and also comforting???? Mel I have no idea what to do with myself after this other than tell you that you are my favorite over and over and over again
I’ve been struggling with OCD a lot recently, its wasting a lot of my time and energy, but I’m working on it with a therapist, and I’m actually making some progress and I’m kinda proud of that. I guess I wanted to express how it feels for me through a doodle
If you are suffering from OCD too, I hope you can get better, I know it’s hard, but I believe in you, hang in there. ♥️
hiii everyone, i just wanted to say that i’ve been absent because i’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts and severe mental health issues, but i’m in therapy regularly and i just started seeing a psychiatrist again so i finally have access to medications that will hopefully help me in life:)
it’s only been a few days so may be just a placebo effect, but i’m already feeling more optimistic about the future:) trying to get my shit together as soon as possible so i can start posting on all of my different pages again and getting back to doing the other things that i used to love truly miss feeling like and being unapologetically myself but i think that version of me is coming back :D slowly but surely
i finally got a prescription for a medication that actually helps my anxiety and insomnia and it makes a world of a difference i’m over the moon!!! i’m feeling inspired to start making content again as well as do so many other things!!! like i feel way more able to answer people and make art, pursue other hobbies like raising butterflies etc, i’m playing piano right now for the first time in years reteaching myself the songs i used to play n having so much fun i’m so happy :’) 
Genre/Au’s: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU
Paring: RM x Reader
Words count:7.635
Rating:18+
Warnings: Cursing; Make-out; Mentions of Sex; Pet eating a pen (Please be careful with what you leave around your pets)
Tigering: Weight Insecurities; Food Calories Count; Mentions of weight;
Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn’t even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate’s plans?
Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content. As always thanks to amazing @hannahbee12719 for the banner.
warning:fuckboy!jk(this should be a warning.), angst. HEAVY FUCKING ANGST. lots of drama, toxic relationships, manipulation, tons of drinking and parties, drugs, toxic friendships, anxiety, panick attacks, explicit smut, everyone is an asshole. crying, throwing ups, making bad decisions, regretting said bad decisions, oc being impulsive, misunderstanding, lots of arguing and fights, physical fights. brief fluff.
(more to be added. each chapter has individual warnings)
synopsis:just like the moon changes it’s phases, you see jungkook change himself. but unlike the moon, you don’t see him come back to the way he was before.
— Do you remember? The heat of summer? You said forvever.
just had a group therapy session alongside my work team with our own dedicated mental health counselor like?????????? i’ve never worked anywhere that gave a flying fuck about my mental wellbeing????????? is this what they call a unicorn job?????
i love that post thats like “never trust how you feel about your life after 9pm” that shit changed my life. every time i feel bad i look at the clock and i’m like Aha It’s 10:26 PM You Cannot Fucking Fool Me
wow this post bload up. i think it’s a good time for me to clarify some things since i really did just write this post at 10:26 pm on a whim
There’s about ten thousand people tagging this with “but what if i feel bad in the mornings” or “welp i feel like shit in the afternoon” and I think you’re willfully misinterpreting this post for many reasons.
First off, this post is about knowing when to let yourself rest. Anxieties are stronger at the time when you meditate on your day and the events of your world slow down. (A lot of people have different sleep schedules, too, so “9 PM” can mean whenever your day is over and before you go to sleep.)
I don’t ignore these anxieties, I do take them in but just remind myself that I am resting now. It’s a mindfulness technique. I look at the clock to ground myself about where and when I am and what physical state I’m in as it relates to my mental state. It’s a reminder to myself that I feel these emotions and they do not control my actions. I do not need to do anything about them. Right now, I am at rest. You can’t fool me into taking action on things when I am at rest. I see a lot of funny tags on this saying “mental business hours are from 9 AM to 8:59 PM” and I LOVE that.
Secondly,this advice is geared towards the idea that your mental state is for the most part dependent on your physical state. In this specific case, I felt bad because the day was ending and my mind and body were tired. I was ready for bed. My body needed sleep and my mind deprived of it started acting up. But your body doesn’t need only sleep. Your mental state can depend on whether or not you’ve eaten something substantial, drank water, taken your medicine, gone to the bathroom, exercised, showered or bathed, brushed your teeth, breathed fresh air… and to go on: had an orgasm, changed into clean clothes recently, been properly cool or warm, or given someone a hug. These things are not linked to a time of day, these are round-the-clock concerns. If you feel bad and haven’t done many of these things recently, I really recommend you take your negative feelings with a grain of salt and see how you feel after you’ve improved your physical state.
Thirdly,this post is also predicated on the idea that you should worry about things when you can control them. For me, 9 PM is when everything shuts down. My energy is pretty sapped, as is my friends’ energy, stores are mostly closed, nobody answers phones, most of my immediate world is done for the night. I can’t start anything at 9 PM. Right now, I’m worried about getting a job. I feel bad at all times of day that I don’t have a job yet. But I can’t be worried about applying for jobs at 10:26 PM, I’m tired and no hiring managers are going to see my applications before 9 AM tomorrow. I can’t improve my life while lying in bed, and I need to lie in bed, so I’m going to improve my life when my day starts. I deserve rest, I need sleep, and I observe but neatly package and set aside the worry to be dealt with at 9 AM tomorrow.
It seems like platitudinous boomer-level “must be nice to be neurotypical” COMPLETE BULLSHIT to a lot of you, I know. But here’s my secret: you don’t need to believe it. You just need to tell yourself that’s how it is.With practice — and I say practice because this kind of thinking took me years (and growing out of being a teenager) to cultivate — it stops being platitudinous.
Andif you’re sitting here thinking I’m lying or that I’m not REALLY mentally ill, I’d like to remind you that A) you know nothing about me and my life B) assuming I don’t know what I’m talking about is both silly and incredibly cruel and C) that’s your own self-sabotage talking. “Oh, she feels better by doing this. Well, she must not be As Bad As Me. Therefore this will not work on me.” That is the Devil speaking, the one who tells you not to brush your teeth at night and to text your ex. That is the demon in your head that likes watching you hurt. You don’t want to hurt. Even if you do want to hurt, I promise, you do not want to hurt.
It’s true that this will not work for many, many people. Not everyone’s brains work the same. We are all unique people with unique situations and for me to even pretend otherwise would be preposterous. And I’m not going to pretend that every worry you have is unfounded and can be solved with a nap and a sandwich. That’s not what this post is about. You’re allowed to feel bad. It’s an emotion. It happens. But it’s healthy for you to ask yourself why you’re feeling a negative emotion, if it is possible to fix why you are feeling that way, what you can do to fix it, and whether or not right now is the time to fix it.
When it’s 10:26 PM and I’m angry at myself about losing an online chess game and being unemployed, I look at the clock and say… this negative emotion is real but the reasoning behind it is not something I can fix right now. I can’t fix my life right now. I need to go to bed, and my brain can’t Fucking Fool Me.
I’m giving you this advice because I want you to SEE if it helps. Even if you try it and this mindset is not what is right for you… I’m proud of you and impressed of you for trying it, because trying to get better is the first step to getting better.
(And thanks to people who reminded me that Drew Monson is the one responsible for the original post about not trusting how you feel about your life after 9 PM. Thank you Drew for helping me out of some late-night pits.)
Sorry I’ve been quiet for awhile I took some time away to go for a long walk/trip my mental health and more importantly my physical health during pregnancy has taken a hit significantly
Conflicted feelings over the Ian stunt on the main channel - while I’m relieved it was nothing serious and I understand that Ian likes to troll people, the way this was handled wasn’t okay.
Given things that have come to light about the channel and the way the higher-ups at Smosh have treated former members of the cast lineup, making it seem like something actually serious happened or that those things are going to be addressed before once again pushing them aside is insensitive and is more likely to further isolate fans than it is draw positive attention to the channel.
I get that Smosh is a comedy channel at heart, but there’s got to be a line in the sand somewhere with respect to how a long-standing brand like Smosh treats its fans. For me, this toed that line. If you want people to talk about your channel and draw views in, you have to keep your audience in mind.
There’s a lot of Smosh fans that deal with things like anxiety, depression, or other forms of neurodivergence like autism or ADHD; using marketing tactics that spike people’s feelings and lead to panic is effective (seeing that there’s been a number of posts about it already today) but it’s a bad move to do something like that without clarification. I did see that Ian technically apologized for causing the panic, but the fact that it lead to that level of panic in the first place isn’t okay.
In short, just because it gets a creator buzz or clicks or views doesn’t mean it’s an ethical tactic to use on your fans.
