#obey me humor
Imagining an MC that swears somewhat frequently
Like they don’t necessary have to drop an f bomb in every sentence but if they bang their funny bone, get annoyed, or are struggling to open something theyll let something fly.
Lucifer hates it and says it’s unbecoming so he’s implemented a swear jar. MC, Mammon, and Satan are the largest contributors
However MC has a special swear jar of their own for biblical swears. He’s learned the hard way humans have a unique and vulgar habit of referencing big papa. Simeon supports the swear jar system but for vastly different reasons
Winners include: god damn it, fucking Christ, for the love of God, good lord, I swear to fucking god
Watch your tongue MC
MC: *hits toe on table leg*
MC: God-fucking-damnit!
Mammon: *spits the water he was drinking*
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[ Levi and MC were playing games in his room. They finally win an especially difficult co-op level after playing for three hours. ]
Leviathan: *happy snek noises* Hooray, MC! We won—
MC: *screaming in the WWE anchor voice* FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS! HOW YOU LIKE THAT?!
Leviathan: *crawls into his bathtub quaking*
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Lucifer: *enjoying the silence of his office*
MC: *tries to enter the room but spots SatanandBelphegor hiding in the corner in the last second*
MC: Jesus fucking Christ! You scared the shit out of me!
Satan:
Belphegor:
Lucifer: *heard everything inside his office* One evening. Just one. Peaceful. Evening.
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MC: *staring at the huge pile of homework in front of them*
MC: All of this is due…tomorrow?!
Simeon: Yes, even I think it is unreasonable.
MC: Oh God, fuck me.
Simeon: *freezes*
Simeon: *clears throat* MC…you might want to…review what you just said…
MC: *shakes their head* Not in the slightest. Considering the academic workload at R.A.D, I might even take the offer up to him.
Simeon: *dies on the inside but smiles through the pain* Good Heavens….
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MC: *opens fridge to get ingredients for dinner preparation only to find the fridge empty*
MC: BEEL!
Beelzebub: *sticks head out from behind the wall* Hmm?
MC: *angry human noises while pointing at the empty fridge*
Beelzebub: Oh, sorry about that. Fangol practice ran late and I was really hungry, so…
MC: *huffs* I swear to fucking God I’m done with this goddamn house getting on my goddamn nerves all the fucking time—
Beelzebub: *too shocked to speak*
Lucifer: *shouts from the living room* MC! LANGUAGE!
MC: *shouts back* THEN TELL HIM TO STOP EATING ALL MY GODDAMN FOOD!
Lucifer: STOP BRINGING FATHER INTO EVERYTHING!
MC: YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!
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*meanwhile God sneezing uncontrollably in the Celestial Realm while Michael blows every healer’s head off because they cannot figure out why he is sick*
