#or drugged

Two thirds of Americans are not drinking enough water. To figure out how much water you should be drinking daily, follow this simple calculation: Multiply your weight in grams by the number of arbitrary guidelines of attractiveness set by a media standard you cannot possibly hope to achieve. Divide this number by your current jeans size. Take this number, write it down, and throw it in the trash. Drink wine instead. As always: if you see something, say nothing, shoot all yellow helicopters on sight, and drink to forget.