#personal log

Hurray! After 4 years of suffering and thousands litres of coffee, I’m finally officially out of college!

Mili is growing nice and strong, destroying everything I love. Ah yes TvT

lately i couldn’t draw much again due to the appearance of a new family member in the house.

everyone, say hello to Mili! she’s an adorable kitten i just adopted recently.

Ceramic Monoceros Caeli

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It’s been a while since I posted sth here. I have been busy at my new job while also struggling with some artblock. But I am feeling better these days so that’s good.

Today I was allowed to make whatever I like at work so I tried my hands at making Childe’s constellation. The narwhal turns out alright, I think. Can’t wait to see how he will look later after we fire him in the kiln.

a cat showed up from out of nowhere and started meowing at my window around the afternoon. idk if she’s one of the street cats i used to feed before but it seemed she wasn’t afraid of me at all.

i gave her some catfood, of course, she ate, hung around a bit and left. later on, around dinner time, she popped back in again omfg

i keep wanting to say “im not a boy but i play one in bed” when asked about my gender/sexuality but it never comes up.

i am making an album now

Here is what the practice piece for the chapel uniform is looking like

can anybody find me a screenshot of the back of nurse chapel’s snw uniform

I hope we get an SNW ep with a reallly fucked up plotline. Like that episode where o’brien goes to mind prison fucked up. I want that nonsense back

Could someone tag me in that one post where I said smth about opening the advanced gender settings and clicking all the options i can’t find it

Yesterday somebody said to me, “I’m not neurodivergent but I have an anxiety disorder.” Are we telling people that neurodivergency is only adhd/autism now???? Do other brain issues not count as neurodivergency suddenly when did this happen

for the last fucking time. if i see you refer to a trans man topping a cis man with a strap as “pegging” im going to “peg” your eyes out

confession i have actually started drinking oat milk by itself as a beverage. it tastes like cold pureed cheerios and its delicious and refreshing. i dont care if that makes me a #freak

Honestly fam I really don’t care about the wolf movie.

Let the bad movie fizzle out of public thought like bad movies do. Everyone’s at the theatres for Spiderman anyways it’s fine.

Me, designing a fursona very different from my kintypes: Gonna keep my furry life and otherkinity nice and separate for fun reasons.
Me, later, identifying heavily as my sona: Maybe I’m a furry lifestyler…
Me, now questioning if I’ve developed/uncovered a hellhound kintype: Help

I need to get a tattoo designed, I’ve got the image in my head. Something sentimental, finally.

Simple at least, a Maro skull resting on some rocky terrain, with a patch of scorpion grass. It’s a bit cheesy. I’ve had a lot of death in my life, and a recurring choice I’ve made for honoring each person I’ve lost since childhood was the forget-me-not flowers on the scorpion grasses.

I think it’d be fitting. If only I knew how to design tattoos.

Y’know, I’ve come to grasp I am absolutely in some integral level a hellhound. Half of my questioning is “But can I reasonably and acceptably refer to this as a kintype?” which… looking at the issue with that makes me feel this whole thing is so counterproductive.

Fixating on terms and such I mean.

I’m just a hellhound. And an android and a Maro

The fictherian urge to join in on wild little creature-based spaces but also not wanting to invade upon them.

Are there any sort of groups for things like Ontario alter/nonhumans? I’ve been wanting to get hands on with organizing some sort of howls and such things but it’s hard to find spaces to discuss that with locals.

The internal ghost type and death-oriented Pok/emon urge to talk in dept about death from a cultural, spiritual, and personal-experience-based standpoint. Like it is INTENSE.

I had written up the outline for a personal essay about death from my position as a death-related fictherian and as a person in my current life who has had up close and personal encounters with it and near death experiences, and also subscribes to the Death Positivity movement. But I never got the motivation to turn that essay into reality, partially out of fear of going so in depth on personal trauma and such like that.

But y’know? I still want to.

Send me death related asks and prompts, either in inbox or reblogs/replies, up to you. I need to talk about it a little bit.

The older I get the more I realize this android in my head and soul isn’t this young soft quiet hipster boy and is actually this grizzled mid 20’s man who looks like he’s in his 40′s because life be that way who’s constantly looking at everyone else like “What the fuck is wrong with you people”.