#pfirsts
.firsts
chaewon shakes her head. “no way, plus, who’s even asking if you have or not?” she insists. “i mean, apart from this conversation, obviously. really, it just sucked. thinking about it makes me want to …” she scrunches up her face in disgust and points a finger into her mouth. she holds herself back from making the noises to match. she’s playing it up a little. “very weird memories. but, i guess most people probably find it weird the first couple of times.”
“that’s dumb,” she says flatly, leaning back on her hands to get a proper look at him. “unattractive people get laid all the time too, so even if that was your problem – which it’s not – then you don’t have anything to worry about.” she’s not the most skilled in being reassuring. any of her friends can vouch for that. chaewon’s advice and comfort are almost always sincere, but tend to come packaged messily. still, she delivers her points confidently, a smug smile spreading across her face. she nudges him with her foot as she uncrosses her legs. “earth to eric, hello?” she teases, waving a finger in front of his face. “i think i know what your problem actually is. you’re oblivious.” chaewon leans back again, raising an eyebrow at him as she rolls her eyes. “how many people have you left hanging like this?” she’s messing with him now, her voice whiny as she pouts. chaewon can’t help laughing, mostly with him, but a little bit at him. “stupid. i’m trying to right now, if you want.”
eric snorts, “you’d be surprised how often it comes up when people are drunk at parties.” there’s been quite a few times at parties where the topic of first kisses has come up and eric’s had to admit he’s never had his first kiss. people usually don’t believe him, or call him cute and coo at him like he’s a baby (not that he really minds being babied, in all honesty). “i feel like i’d rather have a bad first kiss than no first kiss.” he says with a pout.
he’s about to ask if chaewon thinks he’sunattractive, but closes his mouth, a flush spreading over his cheek as she says that isn’t his problem. something about her thinking he’s not unattractive makes his stomach do nervous flips. however, when she says his problem is obliviousness, he frowns. does she mean that.. he’s had the chance and completely not noticed it, or something else? because that sounds rather far fetched to her. “left hanging..?” he murmurs in confusion, before it slowly dawns on him what she could be saying. as she confirms his suspicions his lips part in a surprised ‘o’.
she’s trying to kiss him? the blush on his cheeks spreads right to the tips of his ears and his eyes widen, before a nervous giggle escapes him and he bites back a grin. “really? you’d kissme?”it sounds crazy, someone as beautiful as chaewon being down to kiss him. but, since it was so blatantly said, he assumes she’s not joking around, so he nods eagerly. “yes. i definitely want.”
.firsts
chaewon’s first kiss was a certified disaster. she’d been fourteen, playing spin the bottle with a newly empty liquor bottle someone had stolen from their parents earlier in the night. she’d gotten to kiss her crush of a couple days, but her infatuation with him was quickly cut short by the sloppy way he’d triedto kiss her. needless to say, he became the laughing stock of her friend group for months after the fact.
she furrows her brow at eric’s admission, examining his face carefully for a hint of a lie. “really?” it’s a little embarrassing, chaewon supposes, pursing her lips as she thinks about it. she doesn’t know why he’d lie about something like this, so she comes to the conclusion that he must be telling the truth. “maybe you should count yourself lucky,” chaewon sighs, fixing her posture on the couch. “the first couple of guys i kissed acted like they were trying to wash my mouth out or something.”
she can’t help smiling at his romantic notions. “you know, you don’t have to likesomeone to kiss them. i’ve been single for…” longer than she’d like, if she’s being honest. “a while now. nobody likable’s shown up either, but,” she makes a rolling gesture with her hands, insinuating what she wants to say instead of actually saying it. she doesn’t want eric to go throwing himself at just anyone though – if he hasn’t already by now, chaewon doesn’t think he ever will. even if going out or calling up someone reliable works for her, she knows it doesn’t suit everyone. but, if he does want to get it over with… “so you want a kiss then?” chaewon scoots a tad closer to him, and puts down her coffee cup. she hasn’t been paying attention to the cartoon in forever anyways.
eric isn’t surprised chaewon’s kissed people, when she looks like that. it’s understandable to him that he’d have lived his life kissless when he’s so average looking, when there were people walking around blessed with good looks, like chaewon. why kiss an eric, when you could kiss a chaewon, right? “i dunno, it sounds awful but it’s the experience and being able to say you’ve done it that i guess i’ve missed out on.”
he knows he doesn’t have to like someone, or be liked, to be kissed, romantically that is, but he doesn’t think anyone has ever liked him enough visually to want to kiss him either. he wonders why though, when he realises guys who he really thinks were less attractive than him had had their first kisses. it’s not that he thinks he’s handsome, because he doesn’t, he’s just average. at least he’s got good personal hygiene and wears clean clothes - a scary number of guys his age don’t even do those things, yet still get kissed.
“i just… think no one’s ever found me attractive enough to warrant kissing.” he admits, his blush staying fixed on his cheeks. it’s strange, admitting it to chaewon, what if she thinks less of him now? something about the thought makes his stomach twist unpleasantly. she’s a good friend and he’d not want to ruin that by making her think he’s lame. however, her question shakes his from his thoughts and he emits a light laugh. “of course i do. i just don’t think anyone wants to kiss me.” he says, assuming she means in general (because surely that wasn’t an offer).
starter for @chaewonrk!
eric sits with his knees curled to his chest on the couch beside chaewon, his attention split between the cartoon playing on his laptop on the coffee table and the conversation they’re having, as he can’t simply sit and watch a tv show without doing something else at the same time. he’s mindlessly chewing on gummy candy, head leant against the back of the couch. the conversation, somehow, had shifted to kisses, and what kissing is like, and when they had their first kisses.
“i’ve… never kissed anyone.” eric admits, his cheeks reddening slightly. sure, it’s not something really to be embarrassed about (even if some people would say it very much is at his big age), but he can’t help but be a little shy about it. he’s nineteen (nearly twenty, he’d say) and yet he’s never even had his first kiss. most people have at least had their first kiss before they’ve graduated high school, and here eric having absolutely zero experience in anything romantic.
it’s not like he never wanted to kiss anyone, or sought out the opportunity, he’d just, somehow, never managed to be in the right situation to kiss someone, or be kissed himself. no one has ever had a crush on him, to his knowledge at least, and everyone he’d ever had a crush on was far out of his league, so kissing them was very much out of the question.
“not that i haven’t wanted to, obviously. i just… don’t think anyone has ever liked me enough to want to kiss me.”
