#philsophical
☯️
Am I afraid of the dark? I’m not afraid of the darkness per se, but what hides within is another story. It symbolizes many things, death, loneliness, hurt, anxiety and overthinking, it’s these feelings that find their ways toward me in the dark of the night.
Yet, although I am afraid of what lies within the darkness, I myself do as well. Physically, emotionally, spiritually—Zen does not necessarily have a color nor light, I tend to close my eyes to focus in and the dark brings just that. I close my blinds and I like the room basically as dark as possible to fall asleep. It holds me in comfort as I find rest, peaceful and deep.
So, am I afraid of myself then? Is that it? The imagination is what has the most power in the dark—creating beautiful dreamscapes and nightmare-ish demons—all spouting from the same wellspring, the same mind, the same spilled ink. I have the power to control what I see and think, yet sometimes it’s overwhelming and flooding with feelings.
The dark, black slate of the mind is a mixture of emotions; the colors of the world and the mind flow together and I find whatever I’m looking for. The subconscious plays a huge role, I believe. Do I want to find comfort? What am I thinking? The worries that I don’t have time for during the light of the day rush out in the dark of the night. They unintentionally become associated with the dark because that’s when I have time to face them, when waiting for slumber to take me; thus the fear of facing myself and my own inner struggles taint the comfort I once found therein.
I must remind myself of the beauty that comes with the darkness. The stars in the sky cannot shine during the time of the sun. The moon needs the deep slumber of the sun to lull us all to bed in comfort. Each firefly and spark of a flame shines brilliantly the darker the setting is, and each bolt of lighting that strikes through the sky leaves me in awe. The contrast between light and dark does not necessarily mean one is better than the other, as they can only exist together.
