#pococurantism

LIVE

i spent three hours on the phone today (attempting to) make medical appointments

in particular i am having trouble finding a therapist. my medicaid HMO farms out its mental health services to ANOTHER sketchy “behavioral health” HMO. i called them and asked for mental health clinics not too far from my neighborhood that take my particular insurance.

she cheerfully gave me three referrals with three different phone numbers. all three phone numbers were incorrect – either i got a recorded answer saying “this is no longer the number for this service, please call this other number” or the number was disconnected entirely. i ended up googling the names of the clinics she listed, and after trying about five different numbers, eventually i found the correct phone number for all three clinics.

(it is worth noting here that this is far from the first time that having computer skills has supplemented my navigation of the welfare system. having internet access and literacy is something that many, many people in this system do not have. thus, even though most of the time i feel like a broke down bitch, i also recognize how lucky i am in many, many ways.)

the first clinic no longer takes my insurance, even though my insurance company says it does. the second clinic has recently restructured, and is “unsure” if they take my insurance, and said they’d get back to me. at the third, i only got a voice mailbox – however, it is at a hospital that i happen to know recently went bankrupt and may close basically any day now.

however, i still feel fortunate, and hopeful: to have insurance, to have access to health care, to have a gp that will manage my mental health meds on a casual basis until i can find a “real” psychiatrist (and let’s face it, most medicaid psychiatrists are like, 15-appointment, revolving-door medicine types) and hopefully (whoa boy i hope) a decent therapist.

PS i have NO IDEA if any of these places are “trans–friendly.” i am pretty much just jumping in feet first. i’m faaairly good at advocating for myself in the mental health system and generally therapists like me (i “display a high degree of insight into my problems” ie i have the language skills of someone who went to college for a while), and so unless something goes terribly wrong, i’m generally able to be nbd about mental health providers who are like ???? about trans stuff.

that said, i have had some experiences with being trans in the mental health system that range from merely facepalm-y to truly frightening, which i will blog about more some time later.