#query letter
How To Polish Your Query Letter For A Professional Shine
If you’ve written a query letter (or two, or three), then this has probably happened to you: You’ve put the final touches on your query and you think it’s done—but you still feel something’s not quite right. Since you can’t put your finger on what’s wrong, you send your query letters to literary agentsanyway.
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I’m seeing more requests for crits on query letters, and thought I’d share a few tips. Feel free to add your own (or debate mine)!
- Use as few proper nouns (names) as possible. I don’t need to know the name of the city; I just need to know it’s a city. I don’t need to know the name of the friend; I just need to know it’s a friend. Whenever possible, use a label instead of a name.
- Be as specific as possible on two conflicts: the world and the personal. Make sure you clearly answer: What happens to the world if the hero fails? What happens to the hero if s/he fails? (World doesn’t mean the whole world, but the world of the story—it could be the town, the society, the universe, whatever.) Basically: you need to show the consequences both for everyone involved, and specifically for the hero.
- No excuses. You can’t explain anything further to the agent when she gets the letter; you have to make sure the letter entirely stands on its own.
- When in doubt, SIMPLIFY.
- Main plot only. You can hint at subplots, but really, this is about the main plot.
Here’s the thing: a query letter is NOT about showing EVERY aspect of the story. A query letter is about enticing someone to read more.
Think about the way you describe books you didn’t write:
A boy who didn’t know he was a wizard finds out he’s enrolled in a special school for wizards. He also finds out that the reason he’s an orphan is because a bad wizard targeted his family—and still wants him dead in his quest to take over the wizarding world.
No names. World conflict (bad wizard takes over) + personal conflict (bad wizard wants boy dead). Two sentences.
A girl in a dystopian society volunteers to take her sister’s place in an annual match to the death, but finds herself caught up in a rebellion against the government that made the death match.
No names. World conflict (government with death matches) + personal conflict (save the sister). One sentence.
Of course my above examples don’t work that well for a query—I’d clean up the language, name Harry, Voldemort, and Katniss, and make it sound better with voice, but the above? That’s ALL the information that really needs to go into the query. Seriously.
Remember: an agent is looking for a story that’s marketable. You prove that it’s marketable by:
- Proving the book fits in with the genre you’re querying
- Proving the book is high concept or otherwise marketable (i.e. has an established audience)
- Prove you are a professional enough to present this material in a professional way that’s also entertaining
The burden of proof is on you when you’re querying. You have to prove your book is worth the agent’s time. And frankly, to a certain extent you have to prove you’re a professional, worthy of being dealt with on a professional level. Your query is literally the only way to do this.
God, I’m so excited! I have a new email from that agent I queried three months ago! I’ve been waiting so long. I hope she-
Oh.
It’s a good manuscript, but it isn’t quite what they’re looking for at this time.
…
AMAZING!
I was thrilled to get my first rejection letter. It happened a few months ago now, but I keep the email in a special folder on my laptop so I can open it and smile…
