#rah virginia mil

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Well, more than a year since my last comic, something happened that I just had to doodle out (It also helps to have ample time during this national self-quarantine). Due to COVID-19, VMI is shutting down post, and the remainder of this semester will be completed remotely from home. No formations. No uniforms. No PT’s. No living in a soul-crushing sadness factory.

You lucky little shits.

All kidding aside, that’s a solid move. Keep safe and follow social distancing.

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If there’s snow on the ground, Keydetswillbe sculpting, carving, or building it into a dick. Why? Well, either:

A - It’s just something a bunch of angry adolescents/early twenty-somethings shoved into prison-lite (with a semester-long subscription service) will do.

B - It’s the manifestation of a latent and furiously denied homosexuality.

(TBH it’s B.)

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Congratulations to the class of 2020 on getting your rings! If you’ve missed this, you’re not friends with them on Facebook or following them on Instagram, because once Ring Figure comes around social media is flooded with ring pictures for days.

And who can blame them? I’m amazed I didn’t fall off the stoop or turn into roadkill crossing the street when I got mine. I had tunnel vision for my ring for a month and captivatingly stared at it while walking, in class, or eating. I’m still obsessed with my ring and feel naked without it.

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Everyone gets to go home at the end of Natty Guards’ annual training. Well, maybe not quite to “home.” Some get the joyous honor of going back to VMI for Early Return, where athletes, cadre, and staff all converge at the Institute to get ready for the academic year and the influx of Rats.

It’s also a time for shitbags to knock out a ton of PT’s by serving as the early return guard team. There, these lucky cadets will protect a nearly empty barracks 24/7, wearing wool in the hot and humid summer heat, surrounded by overly enthusiastic motards and thirds, and with nothing to do with their off time. Oh, yes, and they have neither air conditioning nor beds.

Oh, the Mother I, the eternally welcoming and lovely home we all look forward to returning to*.
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*Terms and conditions may apply.

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I forgot my rifle in the Port A John during training once. Never again. The NCO’s take proper accountability, particularly for rifles and people, very seriously.

If you realize that you’ve left your rifle somewhere, you better find it before the NCO’s do.

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​Do you know what’s a fairly dangerous combination? The internet and anonymity. Yodel (for those from the especially Old Corps, Yodel is an app that allows anonymous location based posting) has been quite an interesting forum as of late with the recent addition of the 19+3 Rat Mass at STP. How many of these are actually from 19+3 or just an upperclassmen stirring up some fun online I cannot attest to.

​I have also heard about the current incoming attitudes. This is, however, somewhat to expected before the great winnowing. VMI’s rigid hierarchal system is utterly incomprehensible to almost everyone except our sister SMC’s.

They’ll find out though.

​We all did.

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We all know (or worse yet, you are) that one poor bastard who can shave and have a five o'clock shadow seemingly minutes later. It’s a pain in the butt for inspections and outright dangerous during the Ratline. Nothing like getting boned for not shaving when you did a few mere hours ago, or even being the heartless ranker who handed out the demerits (sorry guys).

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It will rain. Without fail. Every time.

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Inspired by actual events.

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“Throughout history, there have been many displays of the power of the human spirit to carry on in the face of adversity, but none are quite as inspiring as the fact that W&L sorority girls will still trudge over to the PX Starbucks and get iced coffee when it’s 20 degrees outside.” - Joel Thomas
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