#reblog as text or youll get a link
RA HAD HEARD SOME PROPHECY CRAP ABOUT SOME CHILD OF NUT’S BEING PHAROAH INSTEAD OF HIM. THIS PISSED HIM THE FUCK OFF, SO HE CURSED NUT TO NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS ON ANY DAY OF THE FUCKING YEAR. WHAT AN ASSHOLE.
THOTH (IBIS GUY) WAS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH NUT (BUT SHE WAS INTO GEB -IT WAS AN AWKWARD FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLE OK) SO HE WANTED TO HELP HER GET AROUND THE STUPID ASS CURSE. THOTH WAS THE GOD OF KNOWLEDGE AND CLEVER SHIT, SO NATURALLY HE HAD A SNEAKY FUCKING PLAN.
HE FOUND THE MOON GOD KHONSU AND MADE HIM SIT DOWN AND GAMBLE WITH HIM. KHONSU HAD SOME SERIOUS GAMBLING ADDICTION, BECAUSE HE KEPT PLAYING WITH THOTH EVEN THOUGH THOTH WON EVERY FUCKING TIME. THE WAGERS GOT HIGHER AND HIGHER AND EVENTUALLY KHONSU HAD LOST A LOT TO THOTH. KHONSU WAS USING FUCKING LIGHT TO WAGER WITH (SERIOUSLY FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE), AND SOON HE REALISED HE HAD GIVEN THOTH A HUGE FUCKING PILE OF LIGHT, SO HE GAVE UP.
THOTH TURNED THE LIGHT INTO FIVE EXTRA DAYS, AND NUT WENT AND HAD OSIRIS, AN ALTERNATE FUCKING HORUS, SETH, ISIS AND NEPHTHYS. FUCKING BABIES EVERYWHERE!
OSIRIS AND ISIS MARRY, SO DO SETH AND NEPHTHYS AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKING INCESTUOUS.
ISIS WAS A SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT AND WANTED HER HUSBAND TO BE SUPER POWERFUL. SO NATURALLY SHE USED ALL HER WOMANLY SNEAKINESS TO TRICK RA INTO TELLING HER HIS SUPER FUCKING BADASS SECRET NAME. SHE DID THIS BY BASICALLY TORTURING HIM WITH SNAKE POISON AND FORCING HIM TO TELL HER. SHE THEN USES THE SUPER POWERFUL SECRET NAME TO MAKE OSIRIS BE PHAROAH, MAKING THE PROPHECY COME TRUE. FUCK YES PROPHECY.
Because Filipino stories are scary and just yes.Filipino Mythological Creatures
- Philippine Urban Legends
- Philippine mythical creatures
- Philippines Legends and Myths
- Top 10 Scariest Filipino Monsters
Filipino Ghost Stories
- Ghosts in Filipino culture
- Ghosts in Filipino culture
- Eerie Tales From Philippines
- Ghost stories from Philippines
- Multo: Ghosts of story, myth or anywhere else
- The Boogie Men of the Philippines: Aswang, White Lady, Witches, Batibat, Spirits, Ghosts, And Demons!
Filipino Folktales
Filipino Superstitions
THIS TIME IT’S A WOMAN BEING A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. FUCK YES EQUALITY.
NIOBE SERIOUSLY FUCKING LOVED HER CHILDREN. SHE HAD FUCKLOADS OF THEM. WHAT A GOOD WOMAN. SHE WAS ALSO A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT, BECAUSE WHEN SHE SAW LETO (ARTEMIS AND APOLLO’S MUMMY) BEING WORSHIPPED, SHE GOT FUCKING JEALOUS AND STARTED SHOUTING THAT SHE WAS A BETTER MOTHER, JUST BECAUSE SHE HAD 14 FUCKING KIDDIES.
THIS FUCKING PISSED LETO OFF, AS NIOBE EVEN CALLED HER A HOMELESS LADY (BECAUSE HER ISLAND FLOATS AROUND A BIT, SHIT HAPPENS OK.) NATURALLY SHE THEN GOT HER BADASS KIDS TO GO TO NIOBE AND FUCK SHIT UP. FIRST APOLLO SHOT ALL OF NIOBE’S SONS WHILE THEY WERE OUT FOR A NICE LITTLE PONY RIDE. AFTER THEY SPROUTED FUCKING FEATHERS, NIOBE’S HUSBAND COMMITED SUICIDE BECAUSE HE CLEARLY DIDN’T DO A GOOD ENOUGH JOB OF GAGGING HIS ASSHOLE WIFE.
ARTEMIS THEN SHOT ALL OF NIOBE’S DAUGHTERS AS THEY MOURNED FOR THEIR BROTHERS. IT WAS A FUCKING BLOOD-BATH. THEN NIOBE REGRETTED BEING A DICK, AND JUST FUCKING CRIED. THEN SHE CRIED SOME MORE. SHE KEPT ON CRYING UNTIL SHE TURNED INTO A FUCKING PICTURESQUE ROCK FORMATION AND HER TEARS BECAME A FUCKING STREAM. SHE CRIED A FUCKING RIVER.
