#remember when you wanted what you currently have

And yet I wish for but the thing I have. I already have deep windowsills with plants striving towards the light. I already have two(!) enclosed patios where the birds feel safe leisurely pecking at a feeder. I used to only see one pigeon, and now I have four or five cooing, and a punk blue tit, and jackdaws. I can hear their feathers rustling and they groom themselves. I already have red geraniums in pots and snails who eat curses. I already have neighbours I can wave to and chat with when we bump into each other. They have a french bulldog whose tongue feels like velvet. I already have food in my fridge and spices in my cupboard. I already have sprigs of rosemary hanging up to dry that I took from a tupperware box on another neighbour’s front garden that said ‘please enjoy’. I already know how to share. I already live close to the woods with their hidden graveyard. I’ve already found swimming to be my movement of choice in the absolute luxury of an open-air lido that’s heated year-round. I already feel and see the benefits to my muscles and lungs and mental health. I already drink strong, steaming tea and re-use the same mug all day. Today’s mug is stoneware with a repeating cross pattern. I already have fresh flowers that my mother brought round when she visited. I already choose what I eat and when. I already have a plethora of kind and wonderful friends who make me a kinder and more wonderful person. I already have cards in my drawer to send to people’s kids on their birthdays. I already have drawers full of graphite pencils and acrylic paints, cartridge paper and craft knives. I already have so many books to enjoy again and again. I already have everything I could possibly want.