I hate how diet culture has influenced how people partake in Lent. Lent is not about being “healthier” or losing weight. It is about refocusing your life to God and focusing on self emptying.
“Survival” isn’t always about defiance, fighting, kicking and screaming. Sometimes it looks like keeping your head down, taking it one step at a time, and just doing your best to get through. That does not make you a coward. Listen to me: that does not make you weak. Any type of survival demands courage. If you’ve survived, rest assured you’ve done so bravely
Hot take but praise is a good tool for encouraging healthy behavior. Positive reinforcement is good. Relying exclusively on punishment to change people’s behavior is both cruel and ineffective. If someone does better than they did yesterday, let them know you appreciate it, let them know that they’re improving!
“Don’t praise anyone for doing the bare minimum” is a shitty take that prioritizes your sense of superiority over the actual betterment of people. I understand that things shouldn’t be as bad as they are, and anger can often be justified, but you need to get over the propaganda that kindness is naïve, that cynicism and bitterness are intellectual. Withholding praise from those who haven’t caught up with you doesnt actually help them, it doesn’t motivate, it doesn’t encourage, it only discourages them. It breeds bitterness and apathy, which are antithetical to empathy.
Growth isn’t something you do on your own. People need support, they need community. Bootstraps won’t get them there. Kindness will. Do you want results or do you just want to feel superior?
a long time ago i learned that a big part of your life needs to be undocumented and just simply enjoyed in the present. you don’t need to post a picture of the book your reading for it to be good. you don’t need to have a pic of you posing before the sea as proof that u had a good trip. there’s a very fine line between manufacturing moments for future nostalgia and honoring happy experiences by commemorating them into art. and it’s all about intention: do i want to take a picture because it would look good on ig or do i want to take a picture because i do not want to forget how insanely happy i am right now? or, preferably, do i even need to take a picture at all?
I post this every year but it’s worth it to remind myself to plant flowers, in the garden and in my mind and whenever I get a chance, in the hearts of others.
Shoutout to autistics who experience emotions intensely
To the autistics who cry over “little things”
To the autistics who get so happy they flap and bounce and squee
To the autistics who have to work so hard to control their anger or who can’t
To the autistics who don’t know what they’re feeling but feel it strongly
To the autistics who have panic attacks easily
To the autistics who are “over emotional”, “too sensitive”, “weird”, or “irrational”
You experience the world intensely and the ways you react to that are valid. There’s nothing wrong with reacting to emotions as long as you don’t hurt others. You are not too sensitive or too emotional, you are exactly as you should be and that is valid and that is good.
im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh
I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.
READ THIS THEN READ IT AGAIN
i havent seen this post in like 3 years but i was telling the bolded bit to a coworker the other night
this is fate
this is the one post that’s stuck with me through my entire time on this site
I remind myself of this a lot.
nikolaecuza’s mom is raising a whole bunch of critical thinkers on this blue hellsite
people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good
it’s not about actually being gifted, it’s about an initial higher scoring on standardized testing that means little to nothing or being good at learning in the way elementary and middle school wants you to, so you get marked as ‘advanced’. in reality, maybe you had faster development in certain areas, but the issue with being a gifted kid isn’t that “everyone told me I was so cool and special for reading and then I actually wasn’t :(” it’s “I wasn’t properly taught to handle things not coming easily to me, but the adults around me were counting on me not being a ‘difficult’ child in school.”
people who use it as some weird bragging method or interpret it that way are ignoring the way a lot of school systems force certain roles on students to simplify the learning process. If your kid doesn’t need to take notes to understand a science concept bc they get it naturally, well that’s good, but now you’re not teaching them how to take notes and they’re not learning that important soft skill. but because ‘gifted’ kids are easy and don’t show that they’re falling behind in learning in other categories that are harder to quantify, they eventually fall behind after that catches up to them. It’s about the failures of a one size fits all school system trying to compensate in the worst way possible.
And also the thing where ‘gifted’ kids are super likely to also be neuroatypical, which they don’t get screened for because they appear to be doing well in school. Or “You can’t be ADHD/autistic/etc, because you’re doing so well in school!”. Or being shamed for developing mental health issues/generally not being able to keep up with school work later, because you USED TO BE able to do it just fine.
Or the assumption that just because you can read well or you like math class, you’re somehow more EMOTIONALLY mature than your little kid brain is actually capable of being.
Or gifted kids whose parents and teachers put immense pressure on them to Do Great Things and Save The World and you’re like. “I’m 10 and I have no idea how to do that, but everyone is saying that’s my job?”.
This is the best “gifted kid” post out there. I never took notes until college because I didn’t have to, snd when it got challenging I had to literally teach myself note taking at age 18. It also fucks with your perception of asking for help - you’re advanced, you’re competent, you should be able to understand every topic easily. Asking for help/going to office hours/asking for a tutor feels like failing when you were praised in your early years for not needing to do that.
[ID: A light green background with black text that says “I am trying and that’s enough.” Below that is smaller text that says “accessible-affirmations.”]
And yet I wish for but the thing I have. I already have deep windowsills with plants striving towards the light. I already have two(!) enclosed patios where the birds feel safe leisurely pecking at a feeder. I used to only see one pigeon, and now I have four or five cooing, and a punk blue tit, and jackdaws. I can hear their feathers rustling and they groom themselves. I already have red geraniums in pots and snails who eat curses. I already have neighbours I can wave to and chat with when we bump into each other. They have a french bulldog whose tongue feels like velvet. I already have food in my fridge and spices in my cupboard. I already have sprigs of rosemary hanging up to dry that I took from a tupperware box on another neighbour’s front garden that said ‘please enjoy’. I already know how to share. I already live close to the woods with their hidden graveyard. I’ve already found swimming to be my movement of choice in the absolute luxury of an open-air lido that’s heated year-round. I already feel and see the benefits to my muscles and lungs and mental health. I already drink strong, steaming tea and re-use the same mug all day. Today’s mug is stoneware with a repeating cross pattern. I already have fresh flowers that my mother brought round when she visited. I already choose what I eat and when. I already have a plethora of kind and wonderful friends who make me a kinder and more wonderful person. I already have cards in my drawer to send to people’s kids on their birthdays. I already have drawers full of graphite pencils and acrylic paints, cartridge paper and craft knives. I already have so many books to enjoy again and again. I already have everything I could possibly want.
is it a coincidence that so many abusers are “more believable” than the people they abuse?
no (definitely not)
I get so tired of trying to explain that because how do I say: abusers are good at abusing, they are good at continuing abuse, they are good at finding people who won’t be believed, abusers are good at being trusted by large groups of people
how do I say that when the default is to trust abusers and to disbelieve/dislike victims/survivors
Surprisingly, this is not a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference, but an actual fact. From Burnout: Solve Your Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
That’s the percentage of time your body and brain need you to spend resting. It’s about ten hours out of every twenty-four. It doesn’t have to be every day; it can average out over a week or a month or more. But yeah. That much.
“That’s ridiculous! I don’t have that kind of time!” you might protest - and we remind you that we predicted you might feel that way, back at the start of the chapter.
We’re not saying you [italic] should[end italic] take 42 percent of your time to rest; we’re saying if you don’t take the 42 percent , the 42 percent will take you. It will grab you by the face, shove you to the ground, put its foot on your chest, and declare [image ends here, mid-sentence]
We’re not saying you should take 42 percent of your time to rest; we’re saying if you don’t take the 42 percent, the 42 percent will take you. It will grab you by the face, shove you to the ground, put its foot on your chest, and declare itself the victor.
