Vampire starters (mainly sass and arguments for amusement sake)

Human:

“If you tell me that I should stay away from you because you could kill me- so can literally anyone else! Hell, I could be killed by a fucking mosquito!”

“Yes, I get it. You have pointy teeth, and a need to drink blood. You’re a monster, truly. There have never been people who.. I don’t know, kill other people, or breed animals just to kill and eat them or anything like that.”

“Oh, you’re a vampire who wants to kill me? Go ahead, it’s not like I have any purpose in life anyway!” *excessively bright tone*

“Bite me.”

“If you bite me, I swear I’ll shove a wooden stake up your ass.”

“Do you wash your fangs after biting a person? If not, you might be spreading STDs, and that’s unsanitary.”

“Can you swim? I want to push you into a pool of holy water to see if it burns.. for science.”

“Are you repelled by garlic because it smells bad, or is it an allergy? Unless that’s just a myth.”

“Well. That’s a lot of blood.”

“What would you do if your human girlfriend went on her period? Avoid her for that week?”

“…Shit. I’m bleeding.”

“And the asshole of the year award goes to- me!” *Pulls the curtains open*

“I have a bleeding disorder. If you bite me, it’ll be like drinking from a water fountain. So don’t do that, or I’ll bleed out on your carpet.”

“If I’m supposed to be intimidated by you because you drink human blood, I’m sorry, it’s not working. Internally, the only thing I see when I look at you is an oversized mosquito.”

“…You’re old.”

“I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me.. or if you want to bite me..”

“You can’t get away with saying anything creepy just because you’re a vampire.”

Vampire:

“Actually, the real reason I haven’t drank from you up until now is because I’ve witnessed your diet, and I’m pretty sure your blood would taste like pure [grease/sugar].”

“Ican see my reflection. Probably much better than you can see your own, actually.”

“Yes, I burn in the sunlight, but you can’t tell me that humans don’t burn. I just burn with much more severity than a human would.”

“I swear, if you touch those fucking curtains, I will find your most prized possession, and destroy it.”

“Don’t call me ‘ancient’ I’m not that old.”

“Would you be pissed off at me if I were to turn you into a vampire?”

“No, no, forget what I said. Seriously. Don’t remember it.” (compels them to forget.)

“Don’t touch the blood bags. If they aren’t stored carefully, they won’t last.”

“Your blood.. smells really nice, and I would suggest that you keep it away from me.”

(Some of these are longer for the sake of my own amusement. Feel free to shorten or rephrase them however you’d like.)

Spell asks:

Send “” to cast a love spell on my muse.

Send “” to subject my muse to voodoo

Send “” to cast a spell to render my muse unable to move.

Send “” to inflict burning pains onto my muse (without actually burning)

Send “+[body part]” to cause physical injury. (You can also rank the severity from 1-10)

Send “” to cause distant hallucinations, strange images and noises they can’t quite pinpoint.

Send “☠” to cause my muse to die, as if they had been poisoned.

Send “” to cast a spell that will render my muse unconscious.

Send “” to cast a spell that will allow you to spy on my muse.

Send “” to cast spell that will allow you to see my muses thoughts and ideas.

Send “” for a spell that will render my muse unable to speak.

Send “” to inflict pain into my muse’s head.. that you can either turn up to the point where they black out from pain, or turn off entirely at will.

Send “” to cast a spell to erase memories from my muse. (Specify which memories)

Send “” to cast a spell that will cause my muse to get ill. (Specify an illness, or rank severity if possible.)

Send “” to give my muse a truth potion.

(If you leave any of them vage and unspecified, the mun may decide severity.)

Send “confess” for my muse to have to confess their feelings for yours

Send “I like/love you” (choose like or love) for the reverse.

Send “..a dance?” For my muse to invite yours to dance.

Send “dance with me.” for your muse to invite mine.

Send “Please don’t die.” to find my muse bleeding profusely laying on your doorstep.

Send “I feel lightheaded” for the reverse.

Send “are you alright?” to wake my muse from where you found them, passed out on the floor.

Alternatively, send “Ow, my head.” For my muse to wake yours.

Send “intoxicated” for my muse to drunkenly flirt with yours.

(Or to say something that might come across as ‘flirting’ whether it technically counts or not.)

Annoy my muse.

Try to make my muse react, annoy and irritate them, fluster them. Just bother the everloving fuck out of them.

Send “straight to the point.” For a thread where my muse has to be honest and straightforward no matter what it is that your muse asks of them.

Send “Hey, wake up.” for our muses to wake up together in a locked room.

(Horror movie plot. They need to escape the house they’re being held captive in.)

All asks sent within the next hour will have a response.

Send “” for a list (minimum three) of ways you could get my muse to confess that they like yours.

Send “How do I..?” To learn a way to make my muse fall in love with yours.

Send a number for that many different ways.

Send “” for my muse to get drunk, and fall asleep on yours.

Send “” for the reverse.

Reblog if you need more people to roleplay with/roleplays in general.

Send “” or “lie” for a thread where my muse can only lie.

Send “truth” for my muse to be unable to tell a lie for a thread.

Send “I know your secret.” to blackmail my muse for whatever reason you see fit.

Send ‘’ for a thread that my muse can’t be rude/aggressive towards yours.

Send “” for my muse to admit to having a crush on yours.

Send “I love you!” Or “I really like you!” For the reverse.

Send “Let me help you.” to find my muse terrified, trying to calm down, and for your muse to try to help them.