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: title is self-explanatory but in this one Elliot already knows the others. Takes place on NYE

: 1.9k

/: Going to write more tomorrow, I’ve felt like shit all day, hoping it ain’t Miss Corona

:TW for suicide attempt.

Music blared through the whole house as people were crowded in it. But it hurt her head, and not only that, she needed drugs, or, she needed more. She needed more and maybe, just maybe, it would affect her more and leave her living past midnight, then she could leave. Leaving the world behind and this time she wanted it to be forever, she didn’t want it to be another failed try.

She never told anyone about her struggles, everyone around her had their own and it was just not necessary in her mind. She didn’t even tell any of them about the attempts erlier in the year, they were failed and she was somehow ashamed of it. But now, she wanted to live past midnight and enjoy what in her mind was to be her last night on earth.

“I need to go somewhere,” y/n excused herself from Lexi and Jules, standing up quickly and walking inside the house. Both her friends look at her weirdly before going back to their conversation.

y/n pushed her way past people who were going outside or for the living room to dance. The party was filled with people and it made her wanna be invisible as some people she knew wanted to start up conversation.

She walked down the narrow hallway in the house, feeling all the doors to see which room were empty so she could do some more drugs. Feeling the door at the end of the hallway to her right, it was locked, so she went with the one right in front of her.

Opening the door, with a sigh, y/n was taken aback by the figure inside. Leaning over the washing machine, it made her jump slightly and same with the person inside.

“Oh, shit, sorry.” y/n apologized quickly as she closed the door. But then she thought about it. Bleached blond hair, face tats, dressed in all black and seeming to snort something? Elliot.

Opening the door once more, she had pulled a face at the boy inside. Elliot breathed in sharply through his nose, trying to make the uncomfortable feeling of snorting dissappear while leaning against the washing machine and looked at y/n, giving her a questioning look.

“What were you snorting, Elliot?” She narrowed her eyes at him and he looked around.

“I wasn’t snorting anything.” Elliot lied as he had tried ro hide the drugs from y/n, knowing damn well she would wanna try them.

“Yeah you were,”

“No, I was just,” He let out a air a little air almost like a sigh. “I was fixing this washing machine, actually.”

Elliot swallowed hard, looking over at y/n and he knew she wasn’t convinced. I mean, who would be by that excuse, especially when you know the person who said it. It was just a idiot excuse.

“If you tell me what new drug you’re doing, Elly, I’ll tell you what new drug I’m doing lately.”

“All right, deal,” Elliot motioned for y/n to come inside and she was quick, slamming shut the door and locking it so no one came in while they were doing drugs.

y/n pulled out a small plastic bag from her shoe, it held a few pills in it. Elliot pulled out his little plastic bag from his front pocket, both of them took out two pills. Crushing them up, making sure there were no big pieces but as fine of a powder they could get it.

Elliot watched as y/n used her credit card to make two lines of whatever drug she had. He could see her eyes drooping slightly, she was more relaxed than he’d ever seen her. She made sure to split the powder evenly and making them fine.

“Are you sure you should do this?” Elliot questioned, watching as y/n rolled up a dollar bill for herself to use. y/n seemd slow in reaction as she looked at him about ten seconds after he asked the question.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine,” She told, moving some hair out of her face before leaning down and snorting the drug Elliot was doing. Elliot did the same and took his first line.

They didn’t wait long before doing their second one. Feeling the powder make its way up her nose, leaving a burning sensation up her nostril. y/n keept her eyes closed, letting the drug set in into her system. Elliot let out a groan at the burning feeling before sitting down on the floor. He noticed how y/n leaned onto the washer, leaning her head back a sigh of relief leaving her lips.

“Oh, shit.” She let out while stumbling backwards a little, loosing her footing. Holding onto the wall for support as Elliot sat down and leaned against the washer.

“You okey?” His brows scrunched up as he watched the girl let go if the wall and then stumble back into the wall only to slid down it and sit on the floor.

“Fuck, no, no, no” y/n related as her head hung while she sat on the floor, unable to understand how ut kicked in so suddenly.

“y/n, for real, what’s going on?” Elliot asked, looking at how she hung her head and continued to mumble thing taht he was unable to hear.

“I think I’m gonna need you to check my pulse,” Her voice low, heart seeming to not beat tge normal amount it should in her chest as she truly tried ro feel it.

“Are you- Are you for real?” He didn’t get an answer but was quick to pull out his phone and go into timer.

Elliot place two fingers against y/n’s neck, right under her jaw and trying to find the carotid artery in her neck, it took a while but once he found the beating in her neck he started the timer. y/n half leaned her head on his arm as she hung her head at the drowsy feeling grown over her, eyes closed.

Elliot focused as he made sure to counted the her pulse, making sure that ut was correct and he was being precise. He had to admit, this scared him, whatever had made her like this made him scared for her life.

Checking his phone and seeing it had gone a minute, Elliots eyes widened slightly at her pulse. Pulling his hand away.

“56,” His brows furrowed while looking over at y/n from his phone.

“Fuck, it to early,” y/n mumbled and Elliot leaned closer to hear what she was mumbling. “I think I might be going into cardiac arrest,”

“Are you fucking serious?” He tried to find her eyes as she leaned back against the wall, but never once did she look at him. “I should call a ambulance,”

“No, no. I’ll be fine..” y/n told as she let out a breath of air.

“y/n,” Elliot said in a warning tone, he knew that she had helped Rue with a similar problem and since carried whatever needed to help her friends in those situations. It just never was for herself, but that was something the boy didn’t know.

Her eyes was open lazily, looking down at her shoe before letting out another deep breath. Elliot looked down at her shoe and quickly leaned over, taking out all the different types of small plastic bags she had with pills. The plastic bags were marked with letters for each drug.

“Which one is it?!” Elliot asked hurriedly, fiddling with the small bags. y/n lazily sighed and grabbed one from his hand, it had an A on it.

“This..” Her voice was weak, y/n were ready to brace herself for the darkness to come but she knew Elliot wouldn’t let that happen.

“Didn’t we do the same amount of drugs?” He asked her, quickly grabbed the bag if pills, adderall, crushing them up on his phone as well as he could.

“No.”

Elliot swiftly held up the powder to y/n, her head still hanging as she was slowly feeling tiredness take over her, her heart beating less. She breathed in the powder as well as she could, it stinged in her nose, eyes watering like they always did when snorting something.

His eyes watched her with an expectant look waiting for something to change in her, his hands coming up to hold her face gently, a sigh leaving her lips suddenly.

“It’s there.. and beating more,” The words made relief flood over Elliot as closed his eyes.

“Jesus fucking christ,” He let out a breath, still holding the girls face as suddenly there was realization dawning on her.

She had failed, once more, she had yet another failed attempt of leaving the world behind and somehow this made her even more anxious. Now Elliot would wanna know why she took more drugs that night when she usally held herself to a decent amount when around other people.

A single teardrop fell from her eye, something going unnoticed by herself but Elliot felt the tear fall on his hand and looked up. The light in the room lighting up and making the trail of her tear shine on her skin. He brushed his finger right under her eye, brushing away the wetness of her tear.

“What’s wrong? His eyes scanned her face, looking into her eyes to see if more tears were about to fall.

"It’s was.. it was supposed to happen later,” Her voice held disappointment in herself as scrunched her face in sadness, lower lip slightly trembling.

“Supposed to happen later? What are you talking about?” His voice held worry.

“If you weren’t here, I would’ve died,”

“Yes I know-”

“I wish you weren’t here,” After she said those words, more tears fell down her cheeks, cocking back a sob as Elliot let his hands fall. Staring at her with a shocked expression.

She wanted to leave the world behind and if he wasn’t there, she would let the world take her and he hadn’t noticed it. Elliot hadn’t noticed how his friend, the girl he loved wanted to leave the world forever.

“y/n- I’m-” But he couldn’t find the words and watched as y/n sat back, trying to stop her tears.

As it seemd they didn’t wanna stop, Elliot hesitated for a second before he slowly moved forward towards the girl. He grabbed her arm gently, her tear filled eyes met with his deep brown, sorrow filled one’s. Moving towards her even more, Elliot gently pulled y/n towards him, wrapping her up in his arms.

y/n let her fall to his chest and feel his arms wrap around her, one hand coming up to lay on her cheek as she pressed on to his chest, listening to his heart. His other hand gently rubbed up her back.

So they sat there, y/n between Elliots legs as he calmed her down, whispering comforting words to her. Placing gentle kisses on the crown of her head and then laying his head ontop of hers.

They sat there even as midnight struck, people around the house cheering loudly. Even Elliot’s phone had blown up with messages from Jules and Rue asking him where he and y/n was. But he simply turned it off, going back to cradle the girl.

“You’re gonna get through another year, and I’ll be here,” He whispered as fireworks were fired outside.

She only listened to his heart, closing her eyes to the sound and finding comfort in it.

She was gonna get through another year.

Okey so I need to rant a bit about s2 ep4, or atleast the whole Elliot, Rue and Jules situation.

Why is Jules being scared for Rue falling for Elliot and why did she get mad at her for it when Rue shows no sign of romantic interest in E?

Then Jules ask Elliot if he has a crush on Rue and admits it, BUT he also admits that Jules is “Fuckable”? Like okey Mr Elliot.

Third, Jules and Elliot kiss and shit the whole ep 4 behind Rues back. I’m not saying Rue is tye best but how the fuck can E have a crush on her and then have her gf cheat with him???

Oh and then Jules dares Rue to kiss Elliot for 10s just so she won’t feel as guilty about it.

And lastly, I do not feel bad for Jules when Rue said “Cause I can’t fucking stand you.” I literally couldn’t either soo yeah.

In conclusion, I’m not very fond of E and Jules right now in the show cuz both of them are douchebags.

Anything I missed?? :)

(We stan Maddy this episode tho)