#ruslan kovalev

Dear reader,

It has been some time since one has written and I find myself craving the tarry, acrid taste of a Llama King Smooth more than ever. Alas, for one is unable to even exist in the same room as their foggy discharge. Damnit and blast!

One’s life has taken several turns, most for the worst since giving up my precious death sticks, however what I am about to tell you is perhaps the most ghastly of all.

“My ah…well filled pirozhki, we must be patient! It’ll happen when it happens!” Ruslan cooed in a calm, kind voice that made one desire nothing more than to use his head as ground stuffing for the Winterfest turkey.

“Oh, one did not realise that you were also playing host to a navel-goblin that decided to dance a hideous little jig on your bladder! One is dreadfully sorry for being so impatient.” I snapped back. I knew I was absolutely ghastly, but it was impossible not to be!

That was when one felt it.DAMNIT AND BLAST!