#rye overshares on the internet

mh rant imma delete later. dont read it its just boring bs. idk my dude i just need to have it written down somewhere for a minute

i want so badly to do well and have a proper life here but i just cant. its like theres something wrong in my brain. i cant stop destroying myself. i cant stop the procrastination and ed and depression from creeping back in and i dont know why. im so tired please cant i just be ok cant i just be normal its so hard to keep trying and get nowhere. its all just so exhausting. all my friends here have real serious problems and all my friends back home just remind me of my disordered and depressed last years of high school. i just want to be okay. i cant ask for help i cant go home or ill just be back under strict rules and im so tired please gods im so tired im so sick of this bullshit