#sakusa x gender neutral reader

just thought about husband! sakusa kiyoomi who sees you gushing over these people on your social media who have the body-tight sleeveless turtleneck top on and he cannot tolerate it no longer.

so what does he do?

husband! sakusa kiyoomi asks the coach— thefucking coach— if he could change jerseys. not the number, not the colour, no. he wants to change those lousy and plain jersey shirts into those body tight sleeveless turtlenecks. and who is the coach to say no? so he does ask sakusa asks.

he never told you about it, of course he didn’t. he just waited until they came and he‘d wear them to the match and you‘d drool over him. he‘ll watch you rock your shit and try to keep yourself sane, try to stop everyone else from taking him and keeping him for yourself.

cut to a few days later husband! sakusa kiyoomi gets his jerseys in the changing room of the court. but when he tries them on he realizes it‘s a bit small—actually not a bit— it‘s a whole ass number size smaller.

instead of it being comfortably tight, it‘s just tight as shit. his abs are framed, you can make out the veins of his body, make out his spine, hell even see the way his nipples protrude against the fabric.

he gets flustered. fucking hell, he thinks. what is be going to do now? there’s no more time to change, the game is literally about to fucking start! oh well, yolo, is something he learned from you and he never thought he‘d be using that ever. yet look at him right now.

but he signed up for it. so like a real man, he sucks it up and goes out there with his muscles bulging. and as soon as he stands there in the starting line he can feel everyones— literally everybody’s— eyes on him. but he does not mind them, instead he looks for you and meets his onyx hues with yours. his eyes meet yours and he can see how you‘re licking your lips as you smirk, trying to keep yourself sane as you wear his old jersey that he told you to wear.

when the game starts, what you did not expect was to see was when he jumped to smash the ball to the ground is the way his jersey bailed out on him halfway, exposing his perfectly made abs. everyone swooned, yelled, some howled. literally. and you were no exception, but of course you did so with some class, keeping it together as you recite your twentieth prayer to the gods.

and by the time the game was done you could bet to hell everyone wasn’t even talking about how they won, they were all talking about how pro-athlete sakusa kiyoomi‘s abs make an appearance on the court!

however, before they could even ask about it sakusa kiyoomi was whisked away by none other than you. quickly driving him home and putting yourself on the menu for his congratulatory dinner.

and when the next day came, sakusa had once again showed up with that same body tight sleeveless turtleneck in white instead of black. not because he wanted everyone to savour his figure, but because something had to cover the amount of hickies you placed on him.

what i want, part three

part one|part two | wc: 3.6k | gn reader | arranged marriage au | fluff & angst | warnings:physical/emotional abuse from parents, manipulation, intoxication.

it was almost startling how much things had changed since that confrontation three months ago. you truly meant it when you said it would be a fresh start and kiyoomi was grateful. he did his best, albeit awkwardly, to make amends for how he treated you in the past.

‘platonic marriage’ or rather, being friends with you wasn’t difficult at all, it came almost as effortlessly to him as playing volleyball. though it quickly became clear that he knew almost nothing about you, once you told him something he made sure to never forget it.

it wasn’t enough for you to not hate him, kiyoomi wanted you to like him for who he was. he had always wondered what that felt like.

kiyoomi wasn’t sure when exactly he started considering the penthouse to be home. he used to think of it as a prison, yet before he knew it, he found himself looking forward to returning to whatever you were making for dinner and the questionable music you were blasting on the speakers. he’d tell you all about his day and you did the same. he didn’t rush off to practice first thing in the morning anymore. instead, kiyoomi made breakfast for you both.

you’d tell him his green smoothies were disgusting and he’d tell you to stop drinking coffee, but he still made sure that a cup was ready for you— exactly how you like it— before he went for a run. there were many moments like that, where kiyoomi caught himself forgetting all about your circumstances. it was nice. being with you was nice, he thought.

and he wasn’t sure what came over him three weeks ago when he’d called your mother and asked her to send your belongings from your old apartment to the penthouse. your mother had been pleasantly surprised and agreed happily, even keeping him on the phone for another 45 minutes to chat. he didn’t even speak to his own parents for that long, not about anything good. he thought that was nice too.

“what’s all this?” you stared down at the boxes when they arrived.

kiyoomi rubbed the back of his neck. “well, i asked your mom to send the stuff from your old place.”

you blinked at him, clearly surprised.

“kiyoomi… i- that’s so nice of you. thank you,” you murmured.

“you live here too so… ugh it’s really not a big deal. just don’t make a mess when you put it all away, y/n.”

he had been so flustered that he walked away, completely missing the fond look on your face. why had he been embarrassed after simply doing a friendly gesture? it was the fair thing to do after all. it wasn’t like he wondered what it would be like to be surrounded by your things. or what they would look like next to his own.

“was that y/n in the stands?” atsumu, his teammate, jogged up beside him on their way to the locker room. “didn’t think i’d ever see them again.”

“i’m surprised you had time to look in the stands at all with how much you were running your mouth at our opponents,” kiyoomi replied.

“well actually~ i only noticed because i saw how you kept looking at them all night.”

kiyoomi let out a disinterested hum, ending the conversation before atsumu could pry any further. despite the teams overwhelming victory that night, kiyoomi had been on edge. just knowing that you were there had him feeling nervous on the court for the first time in years. he thought he had been more subtle about it.

kiyoomi had never been one to talk about his private affairs. all the team knew was that he had gotten married and he refused to say any more about it. they had all seen you only once before over a year ago when you attended a game with his siblings but kiyoomi didn’t introduce you. the team hadn’t even been invited to the wedding. back then, the whole arrangement only made kiyoomi resentful and he refused to talk about you, desperately wanting to keep his volleyball life separate. even though things between you two were better, he never bothered explaining it to anyone, sparing himself the headache from their endless questions.

would there even be any point in telling them? neither you nor kiyoomi knew where things would eventually lead. he still wasn’t sure about your reason for staying. did you plan on only staying for the remainder of his career? you could have left him and moved on with your life but you stayed because you probably felt sorry for him. surely you’d get tired of it eventually, right? the thought of you deciding to leave made his stomach sink. not that he would have any right to be upset if you did.

you deserved better, but he hoped you didn’t care anyway.

kiyoomi took longer than usual in the showers, trying to alleviate his nerves. the night wasn’t over for him yet, unfortunately. when he finally emerged from the locker room, he spotted you among the families and friends of the team. but much to his dismay, you were in the midst of a conversation with atsumu, who seemed to be getting a little too familiar with you.

“omi-omi!” atsumu noticed him approaching.

kiyoomi frowned as he came to a stop in front of you both.

“i was introducing myself properly to y/n. we hadn’t officially met yet thanks to someone… i was just saying how i’ve heard so much about them!”

“you haven’t,” kiyoomi’s eyes narrowed at the arm atsumu had draped around your shoulders.

atsumu grinned down at you and pointed to his teammate. “see what i have to deal with, y/n? i can never catch a break.”

"why do i get the feeling that it’s the opposite?” you joked.

something bitter swelled in kiyoomi’s throat as he watched your exchange. not that long ago, he wouldn’t have cared less about who touched you. but now, it felt strange… and wrong.

the setter reared back, feigning hurt at your words. "so that’s how it is, huh? omi, what did you tell them about me?”

“only the truth.” kiyoomi grunted before turning to you. “we have to do some interviews but it shouldn’t take long. will you be alright here?”

“yeah, i’ll be fine.” you smiled up at him. “and great job out there tonight, kiyoomi.”

a blush threatened to crawl up his neck. he would blame it on his exhaustion if you noticed. “thank you.”

now beside him, atsumu let out an exaggerated sigh. “what about me, y/n? those were my amazing sets after all.”

you playfully rolled your eyes. “i guess you were amazing out there too, miya.”

kiyoomi’s jaw ticked. amazing? seriously?

“ah, don’t be so formal! call me atsu—”

“let’s go.” kiyoomi interjected, his tone sharper than necessary.

you waved them off. “i’ll see you in a bit!”

as the two players made their way down the corridor, atsumu noticed kiyoomi’s slightly reddened face. a devilish grin spread across his lips before he nudged his grumpy teammate and turned back to you.

“y/n! make sure you come to lots of games so omi-omi can do his best for you!”

the post-victory high kiyoomi felt slowly drained from his body as he pulled into the parking lot of an extravagant restaurant. after months of excuses, he couldn’t avoid it any longer. that night you both had plans to meet his parents for dinner. unsurprisingly, they had opted not to attend his game earlier.

kiyoomi thought he did a good job of disguising his discomfort, but you quickly sensed his shift in mood. before walking inside, you gently tugged on the sleeve of his coat to bring him to a stop. he looked down at you and was almost taken aback by the concern on your face.

“kiyoomi, are you alright? we can just go home if you’re not up for this tonight.”

in that moment, kiyoomi knew that he never wanted you to leave him. the feelings he had been trying to ignore for months threatened to spill out. he couldn’t put into words how you made him feel. it was almost too much, but he didn’t want to lose it. maybe one day he’d be brave enough to tell you, but how could he after everything? he remembered the divorce papers you had drawn up, tucked away somewhere in the penthouse.

you had seen him at his cruelest, he almost drove you away in tears, and you were about to face the people that had manipulated him into your marriage in the first place. he couldn’t possibly ask any more of you. maybe things would have been different if he had given your marriage a chance, but he couldn’t think about that anymore.

kiyoomi took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, already feeling a little bit better.

“i’m fine. let’s just get this over with.“

you nodded warily.

he was grateful when you didn’t press him further. he was even more grateful when you didn’t ask why he still hadn’t let go of your hand.

it didn’t take long for kiyoomi to regret not taking you up on your offer to go home. things had begun decent enough, with the conversation flowing easily despite the tension. his father said very little as usual, busy checking business emails on his phone and nursing a glass of scotch. kiyoomi knew he should have seen it coming and cursed himself for thinking the night might end without any problems.

it all started while you were telling them about how well he had played earlier. kiyoomi smiled shyly as you recapped some of his plays, trying not to let his pride swell at your words. for a moment, he was so happy he almost forgot where he was, but his mother made sure to remind him.

"so kiyoomi,” she began, shamelessly interrupting you. “how long will you be doing that for?”

there was an awkward drawn-out silence before he replied, “what do you mean?”

“volleyball.” she said as if it were obvious. “your father and i were discussing it a while ago and we were thinking we should start considering your other options.”

kiyoomi visibly tensed at her words. next to him, you were rendered speechless, the shock on your face clear as day. kiyoomi himself wasn’t surprised in the least, but you had never seen this side of his mother before. until then, she had been almost sickeningly sweet to you. but after what kiyoomi had revealed, you were able to recognize that it had all been an act. to her, you were simply a means to an end.

“volleyball is my future, so i’m not sure what you’re getting at.” kiyoomi ground out, trying his best to keep his tone even.

his mother sighed. “be realistic, boy. you’re almost thirty now and most players retire before thirty-five with nothing else to fall back on. sure, you’ve found a little success but then what? a volleyball salary isn’t going to cut it forever. you should put that degree of yours to use sooner than later and do something meaningful with your life like your siblings.”

her every word felt like a weight on kiyoomi’s chest, squeezing the air from his lungs.

“i’ve let you carry on with this far too long. i thought that getting married would set your priorities straight but i see that it hasn’t,” she gave you a quick, disapproving glance. “i’m not asking you to retire today, but i’ll need you to start meeting with your father twice a week to learn the business and then—”

“and then what?”hespat.“i’ll do as you say, and then you’ll just find some other part of my life to manipulate? until i’m good enough?”

as he stared into his mother’s eyes, kiyoomi saw nothing. her face conveyed neither concern nor guilt. she only stared back at him as if he were nothing but a stranger speaking to her about the weather. it didn’t matter what he did, kiyoomi realized. she would never be proud of him for who he was. she would never see him as her son who worked hard his whole life to achieve his dreams. try as he might, kiyoomi couldn’t allow himself to ignore the reality of the situation any longer. to her, he was still a mistake that needed to be corrected.

“i know you never wanted me. so just do us both a favor and forget that i exist.”

for over an hour, you drove up and down every street surrounding the restaurant searching for kiyoomi before deciding to return to the penthouse. it was your last hope since you had no way of reaching him. in his rush to leave, kiyoomi had left behind his jacket containing his phone and car keys. you were so worried that you even called his cousin, komori, and begged him to tell you if he heard from kiyoomi.

you didn’t mean to cry, but the adrenaline from your outrage had worn off and you didn’t know what to do. you regretted not immediately going after him. instead, back at the restaurant, your feet had been planted in front of the table as you glowered at his mother.

“what is wrong with you? he’s your son!”

unaffected by your words, she raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“darling, don’t overstep.”

you were losing your composure.“you have no right to—”

“oh! i see what this is. have you deluded yourself into thinking he’d love you? you poor thing. the reality is that kiyoomi has always been a selfish little boy. as long as he can play that little game- he’ll use you until he has nothing left to gain from it.”

her words stung but you refused to give her the reaction she wanted.

“you should be more appreciative. i put you where you are, you would do well to remember that, y/n.”

not giving yourself a chance to reconsider, you swiftly lifted a wine glass off the table and threw its contents in her face.

under different circumstances, the way her expression became deadly in a mere second might have chilled you to the bone.

“you’re a pathetic excuse for a mother. i almost feel sorry for you.”

her tirade of insults sounded throughout the restaurant as you made your exit. you didn’t bother to listen, the only thing on your mind was getting to kiyoomi.

when you finally arrived back home, you were relieved to find his oxfords carelessly discarded in the entryway.

“kiyoomi?”

after no response, you began making your way through each room, cursing how needlessly big the penthouse was. when he wasn’t in the kitchen, master bedroom, or even his training room, you started to panic. had he gone back out before you arrived? as you raced back toward the elevator, you noticed a light down the hall. there was only one other room you hadn’t checked.

after clearing the air months ago, you moved into the guest room, feeling slightly awkward about continuing to share a room with kiyoomi. he was hesitant about your decision and insisted that you take the larger room but you refused. if you were being honest, a large part of you didn’t want to stay in that room because it would only remind you of what never was. you needed the distance.

to your surprise, kiyoomi was splayed across your bed on his back, polishing off a bottle of liquor you suspected was from your old stash. he looked a mess. his previously styled hair was in disarray, shirt untucked from his slacks, and his tie almost completely undone around his neck.

you let out a sigh of relief. “thank god you’re okay,”

he said nothing as you made your way inside and sat down. his eyes remained fixated on the ceiling.

“you know, i think we should consider getting a smaller place.” you tried to joke.

kiyoomi looked over at you then, his eyes softening briefly before he turned away again.

“i’m sorry for leaving you at the restaurant,” he said slowly.

“it’s okay. i was really worried about you.”

“i didn’t mean to… what happened was—”

“you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” you stopped him as he struggled with his words.

there was so much you wanted to ask him. why was his mother so cold to him? what did he mean when he said that she didn’t want him? and what would she do now that he didn’t want anything to do with her? did he mean what he said? but it wasn’t the time for any of that. you were just glad he was home.

neither of you said anything for a long time but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable like it used to be. it was almost peaceful. as if both of you understood that proximity was enough. you wondered if it would remain that way for the rest of the night before kiyoomi spoke again.

“my mother… she used to always tell me that i was lucky to even be born. my parents didn’t want any more kids but then i came along. i was nothing like my siblings. i tried to be for a long time. but when i decided that i wanted to pursue volleyball, everything got worse. i told my mother and she slapped me right across the face. it was like i had betrayed them. they were so angry at me and i couldn’t understand why. i loved volleyball instead of what they chose for me. was that so bad? for them to do all this? to hate me?

"i thought that i had finally convinced them that they could be proud of me when i went pro but of course they weren’t.” he chuckled bitterly. “when i got silver at the olympics, it was like that was the last straw for them. they married me off and put me in this penthouse so i could at least keep up the appearance of a responsible and successful son. what a joke.”

horrified at his words, you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from crying. you knew the last thing kiyoomi wanted was for you to feel sorry for him. but you didn’t feel sorry for him, you loved him. you loved him and hated everything he had gone through with his family.

though you tried to get rid of any lingering feelings for him over the past few months, they only returned a little more every day. with each meal you shared and every little moment together, it was easy to forget it all. but you were only there to help him now, nothing more. you knew he didn’t want more and it was painful. some days the reality of your situation hurt so much you wondered if you should have left after all… but you knew that you would have regretted that even more.

noticing your watery eyes, kiyoomi sat up. “hey, what’s wrong?”

“nothing, i’m fine,” you squeezed your eyes shut, accidentally letting a few tears escape. “shit. sorry. i’m just—”

your eyes shot open when you felt two large hands on either side of your face. kiyoomi was looking back at you with glazed, almost pained eyes. “i wish you didn’t have to see that. don’t cry for me or my family. it’s not worth it, y/n.”

“you are though.” you held his gaze even as more tears fell. “we’re in this together remember? i’m glad i was there with you. and i’m glad you can talk to me about it. i don’t want you to have to keep it all in all the time. i care about you… so much.”

kiyoomi’s eyes seemed to intensify and he opened his mouth to speak but closed it just as fast. suddenly, his face was inching closer to yours. you froze. was he going to…?

your panic quickly subsided when kiyoomi’s hands fell from your face and his body slumped against yours, his face landing right against your chest.

“k-kiyoomi?” you spluttered, quickly gripping his shoulders to keep him from completely falling onto you.

he groaned but still didn’t move. “fuck, my head…sorry…i’m slightly more inebriated than i thought.”

you exhaled slowly, unsure if you were more relieved or disappointed. but you were glad you hadn’t said too much at least. when kiyoomi started feeling heavier, you carefully slid off the bed and helped him lay down properly.

“alright stay here, drunky, i’ll be right back. and don’t fall asleep.”

you returned from the kitchen a moment later and made him drink an entire bottle of water. “lay on your side in case you puke later.”

“i never puke, that’s gross.” he giggled. the liquor had clearly caught up with him by then. you briefly wished you were devious enough to record him in his current state.

kiyoomi was softly snoring almost immediately after his head met your pillows. you couldn’t help but smile down at him and before you could stop yourself, your hand made its way to his face, softly wiping at the dried tear stains on his cheek. he had been crying before you found him.

“it’ll all be okay, kiyoomi. i promise.” your fingers were in his hair now, gently carding through his curls.

“…imnahgonna…”you froze when he began to stir, but he remained asleep, even letting out a content sigh when you resumed.

after twenty minutes, you were sure he was out for the night and wouldn’t need any more help. carefully, you draped a blanket over him and got up to exit the room.

as you opened the door, kiyoomi began mumbling again but his words came out clearer.

“…i know i’m not good enough…” he slurred. “…but i don’t want them to leave me…”

confused at his words, you paused. you wondered if he was referring to his parents.

“who?”

“y….y/n…”

he was talking about you? leaving?

“kiyoomi, i don’t understand,” you said softly. “do you need more wat-”

“…i know it’s too late…

but i love them…”

A/N: uhh this wasn’t supposed to be over 3k words and i have no self-control i’m sorry (;﹏;) but i didn’t take two months to finish a part this time!! i really struggled with this part though because i wanted to include how y/n and kiyoomi adapted to their new arrangement, kiyoomi’s complicated feelings for y/n, introduce his parents, and set them up for the ending without rushing everything. i already have a bonus chapter in my drafts and part four isn’t even started yet yikes…

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