#shitpost of the day

If anyone of you guys ever gets told that “you’d look so much better without all this makeup” (which might happen, because many men are boring and predictable) tell ‘em what Fury would say.

“A painted face does not make me feel more beautiful. It makes me feel more prone to murder, should the need arise.”

I got vaxxed today. Joked on my facebook (yeah, I have a facebook, I’m over thirty years old) how I’m feeling a bit itchy. Tasty and absolutely no one picked that one up!

How is classic Resident Evil stuff suddenly obscure? How. And why. It feels lonely out there, I tell ya.

Strife: 3,2, 1…now!

(Both he and War glomp onto unsuspecting Deathand hold him in a shared assault of a hug)

Death:What the hell do you think you’re doing. Stop that. Stop that -

War:*increases the strength of the hug*

Strife: Oh, shut up and let us love you!

You: *stand behind Death and wrap your short human arms around his midsection because that’s as far up as you’re able to reach anyway*

Death:What are you doing?..

You: You just said you needed a little spoon.

Death: For my coffee, girl. I needed it for my coffee.

Death: *enters room* I have lived a thousand lifetimes. I know the world’s greatest joys and greatest sorrows…

You: *look away from your laptop*

Death:…yet to me both are long lost. I am but a cold hearth, each spark turned into ash inside of me.

You: Awh. Tough day at work, I reckon? Do you wanna fuck?

Death: I’d like to, yes.