#shitty saw traps
hello user trap submitters. due to recent complaints, i have installed a tv screen viewing a google meeting. now cut off your toes or something, you cost me $300 on this monitor
Hello Johnathan. You have been both a physically and emotionally abusive father to your only daughter since she was a little girl. You’re trapped in this room with UFC Champion Boxer Mike Tyson.
There’s no escape, I just want you to suffer like your daughter has. Eat shit and die.
Hello Kathleen Kennedy. Since 2015, you have worked to destroy the Star Wars franchise with a string of directors and writers who create terrible movies, horrible characters, and forced plots, all while taking in the profits for these endeavors, caring not for the dedicated fans of Star Wars. In 30 seconds, the door in front of you will open to a Star Wars convention full of disgruntled fans. If you can make it to the exit with your life, you will be free to go, and continue presiding over Lucasfilm. Otherwise… let’s just say I don’t need a trap for you. The clock is ticking.
Hello developer of [insert popular franchise here]
You retconned [insert character name here] from a widely accepted belief from your canon lore into an irremediable piece of shit. There is no escape. Die.
Hello, Tumblr user’s mother. For the past few years you have been inserting your political opinions into every topic of conversation you can, leaving your daughter very uncomfortable. Before you is your daughter, wanting to strike up a conversation. You must talk to her for one hour without bringing up your hatred for Joe Biden, California, trans people, or anything of the sorts. Failure to do so, and your vocal cords will be ripped from your throat. Your time begins now.
Hello, y/n, in front of you is One Direction.
Hello, Socks. You said you were going to work on your novel today, but instead you have stared at the screen for far too long. If you are unable to complete at least one chapter before the end of the day, your brain will explode. You have a few hours. Self Callout Trap
hello again, elon
Hello small cat. You have done nothing wrong. There is a large piece of salami in front of you. You can have it, as a treat.
hello Derek. for years you have hidden your childs medicine where they cannot find it because “they don’t need it”. you have been poisoned, the antidote is hidden in this room. you will die in the next 30 minutes if you do not find it. good luck.
Dear University President,
You claim our community is incredibly walkable, and use this to completely brush off any complaints about thr parking situation and infact claim that students don’t need cars. Yet for some reason, your on-campus house has a 3 car garage.
In front of you is a list of errands. If you can complete them all in a single day and without the use of a vehicle, you get to live. However, if you run out of time or do use a vehicle, then every written complaint any student has ever written will be launched at you like a ninja star
Hello Thomas Jefferson, America’s most famous slave owning child rapist. Look at this post where you’re a black bisexual trans man drug dealer college student wearing a hatsune miku binder. Yes it’s cringey. Your task is to cosplay as this ten layers removed version of yourself and say “Meet God she’s black”. Come on Tommy, show the Hamilton fans that you’re a progressive blorbo to head canon and not an evil monster
Hello, Tumblr users. Many of you are posting legitimate traps. Are you okay? You want to talk about it? Do I need to lock you in a room for some group therapy? Wait, no, not lock-
Hello everybody. The Game.
Hello Wanda. For years you have harassed people on the innocent because of your inability to perceive sarcasm. In front of you is a Laptop open to your Tumblr page. You have exactly 30 minutes to write a sincere apology post before the explosive I have placed in this room detonates. Live based or die a hater. The clock is ticking.
Hello, mama.
I did not mean to make you cry, but if Freddie is not back by this time tomorrow you must carry on. if you do not, here is a therapist for you to consult. good luck.
Hello TikTok user,
I see you claim to be “goth” and yet have not a single clue what it is past the fact that you wear black, regularly spread misinformation, and consistently brush people off when they tell you you’re wrong. I know you know that My Chemical Romance and Lil Peep are not goth. My task for you is simple: name three goth artists and tell me where and how the subculture was created. Very common knowledge for any goth. Fail and you will be strapped to this chair you’re sitting in and subjected to a twelve hour loop of “Bela Lugosi’s Dead.” You have one hour. I know you can do it.
Hello, group project member. In front of you is the research you have done. You are to properly cite the quotes you used, the information you provided, and the sources you used in MLA-8 format. If you fail to do so properly, then something something clever death. I don’t know man, this is due in like, 8 hours.
Hello, social media user.
You were raised to think that doing and creating self indulgent content is “cringy” Like OCs, rarepairs, and crossovers.
In this trap….
You literally just do whatever you want regarding your fandom! Create an OC, make them interact with the fandom, write about your favorite ship that people dubbed “cringe.” That’s literally it. You just have to learn to be free and self indulgent. You have as much time as you need, and if you don’t want to… Well, you can just walk out. Just know cringe is dead
hello Anonymous/Unspecified Nintendo Fan
you often log in to social media to tell people to just be grateful for this company’s notoriously subpar and overpriced online services, defending a corporation with all your money in mind and not your opinion or wellbeing
in front of you is a game of Super Smash Bros Ultimate and a Switch rigged to drop a large weight over you if you lose
you must win a match in this online lobby with someone on the other side of the world, or else your main won’t be the only one to get Smashed
live or die, no items, Final Destination
