Sound Finale!

Sound Finale!

Title: Tokyo Sound
Fandom: Durarara
Characters/shipping: Mikado Ryuugamine/Anri Sonohara, Mikado Ryuugamine/OC, Mika Harima, Seiji Yarigi
Genre: Romance/Supernatural/Drama
Rating: M
Warning: Sexual content
Summary: Mikado makes it back home to Anri. They finally talk and end up sleeping together.

Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/38027761/chapters/96780042

Sound Thirty-Four: Anri:

I feel like I am home when I am with her. The other girls always tire me out. When I’m with Anri, everything calms down. I don’t have to worry about what she wants to do with me.

“I’m home,” I said once I made it back to my apartment.

“Welcome home, Mikado-kun,” I heard in the darkness. I found her sitting on the floor, waiting for me. I don’t know how she puts up with all of my… well… how exactly do I put it?

“Have you been waiting long?” I asked.

“Not really,” she said. I can’t bring myself to tell her how bad things are. Anri probably already knows, but I don’t want to push it.

“How was your day?” I asked.

“Fine,” she said. We can’t bring ourselves to look into each other’s eyes. I feel like I have to keep her at arm’s length from me. If she gets any closer to me, I could end up ruining her. But Anri still tries to stay by my side.

“Did the girls tell you to stay by my side?” I asked her days after Saki’s death.

“Yes,” she said.

“Are you just staying because they asked you to?” I asked. “Please don’t lie to me.”

“No,” Anri said. I didn’t know how I felt about this.

I sat down in front of her on my futon. There is still so much that we have to talk about. Kida-kun is one of them. Then there are the other girls. And then there’s us.

My eyes shifted away from her. When did this get so difficult again?

“Mikado-kun,” Anri said.

“Yes?” I asked. I had a guess about what she was going to say. Which question was she going to open with first?

“Are we okay?” she asked. I couldn’t even answer her while looking her in the eye.

“No,” I said. I couldn’t let lie to her anymore.

“We are not okay,” I said. “But I am going to fix this.” I clenched my fists in my lap and clenched my teeth. I have told her this so many times. I’m sure that I even believe this anymore. It hurts worse when she doesn’t say anything. I would feel better if she would just say that she doubted me.

“Have you heard from Masaomi?” I asked. She shook her head. Maybe this was worse than we feared.

“You don’t think…?” she began to ask. I lifted my head.

“What?” I asked. Anri looked like she wished that she hadn’t said anything. We might as well come out with all of it. She’s here with me now.

“You can just say it,” I said. “We’re already here.” She clenched her fists in her lap.

“Do you think he’s avoiding us on purpose?” Anri asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. Part of me wished that it wasn’t the case.

“Have you tried to call him?” I asked.

“No,” Anri said. I lowered my head. I felt like a bad friend. I’ve been too wrapped up in myself and my siblings to see his problems.

“Do you want to go talk to him with me?” I asked. Anri said nothing at first.

“I mean… if that’s what you want,” I said.

“Of course,” Anri said. “I would love that.” We sat in silence for a moment. There needs to be something more said. But why can’t I say it?

“Anri,” I said. She looked up at me. I didn’t wait for a response.

“How have you been through all of this?” I asked. I think I caught her off-guard with that question.

“I… I…” Anri said. She pressed her lips together.

“I don’t know,” she said at last. “There’s been so much going on.” I could hear her thoughts. She doesn’t know how she wants to say it. I reached out and pulled her into my arms.

“I understand,” I said in a low voice. Saika didn’t try to reach out and cut me. I think she still hates me. I am okay with that. She can hate me all she wants. Nothing is going to tear me away from Anri.

When I let her go, we were inches away from each other. We didn’t say anything at first. I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She didn’t push me off. I couldn’t understand why she lets me do as I please with her. Part of me hoped it wasn’t out of pity.

I didn’t feel like taking it all the way tonight. I pulled her into my arms again.

“Can you let me hold you like this for a while?” I asked. I stared off into the distance. Saika doesn’t scream as much at me as she did when Anri and I first had sex. (That wasn’t one of my brightest moments. She insisted that it was okay. I wanted to believe her, but…)

I paused when I heard her murmuring something.

“Hm?” I asked. I looked up to see her looking up at her.

“I’ll stay by your side no matter what,” she said. Her words stung like a knife in my chest. I drew my eyes closed.

“Thank you,” I said. I leaned down and kissed her on the lips again. This time, she kissed me back.

We ended up back on my futon. I should be used to this by now. In a way, it just doesn’t feel right. I put her at risk when we are like this. Anri looked up at me, waiting. She doesn’t try to fight me. I hint to her that she can say no whenever she wants.

“Are you sure you want this?” I asked. “I can stop if you want me to.” Anri shook her head.

“No?” I asked.

“It’s fine,” she said. “You can do what you want with me.” It’s always the same. She never tells me no. I just wish for once that she would tell me no and it would stop there.

“Are you okay?” Anri asked. Her question put me in shock. I looked down at her. None of the other girls asked me that. It was just getting right into it without any questions. I looked away from Anri.

“I don’t really want to,” I said. I paused. I have no choice but to tell her the truth.

“Listen,” I said. “There’s something wrong with me.” I looked down for a response. Anri stared up at me with no emotion on her face. I could’ve just left it there. But something inside compelled me to tell her the truth.

“I was… I poisoned back over the summer,” I said.

“Mikado-kun…” Anri said. I shook my head.

“There hasn’t been a way to get rid of it so far,” I said. “I haven’t only shown Shinra so far.” I rolled up my right sleeve. My arm looked so pale except for Yokubo’s bite mark. The wound itself looked so dark.

“How long has it been like this?” Anri asked.

“Almost two months,” I said. I rolled down my sleeve.

“Do the others know?” she asked.

“Which others?” I asked. “The girls, yes. Everyone else, no.” I remembered when it was easier to keep my condition hidden. Lately, things have been getting worse. I wasn’t ready to tell her anymore. She didn’t need to know that I was scared to get her pregnant. One thing at a time here. I laid down beside Anri.

“It’s all become a mess,” I said. She cuddled up close to me. I put my arm around her. She’s too good to me. Sometimes I wonder how she’s able to stay by me like this.

“Thank you,” I said. Anri looked up at me.

“For what?” she asked.

“Staying by my side,” I said. I leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She kissed me back. I feel like I am dancing on the edge here. I don’t know if we’re going to have sex or not. She’s open for me to doing what I like.

“Why don’t you ever stop me when we are like this?” I asked. “You could say no and I would be more than happy to stop. So… why?” She rested her head against my chest.

“I don’t want to see you hurt anymore,” she said. My heart skipped a beat.

“Anri…” I said.

“I don’t really know how I could help you,” she said. “This is the only way that I know how.” Did her words have to hurt? Just like everyone else around me, she’s trying her best. I patted her on the head.

“Thank you,” I said again. I kissed her on the lips. Anri kissed me back. I climbed on top of her on instinct. She looked up but said nothing. I sat up and unzipped my jacket. Anri never says anything to stop me. I slid it off and threw it aside. This should be fine, right? This was Anri after all. But why did it feel like I was taking advantage of her?

She reached up and touched my cheek. I about jumped at the sensation. She didn’t need to say anything. I didn’t need to hear her thoughts to know either. I reached up and took off my shirt.

Our clothes wound up all over my floor. Everything felt familiar again. Once again, I was tangled up in her. It feels like being home. I shouldn’t be doing this. Anri has become an enabler. She doesn’t stop me. I can’t stress this enough. Part of me wished that she would speak up at least once. Maybe then… Maybe then…

I leaned down and nibbled on Anri’s neck. I glanced over at her as she let off a low whimper.

“You like that, huh?” I asked. I could feel the heat coming from her skin. Her cheeks were flushed red. All that came out of her mouth were happy little whimpers.

“Yes,” she said, breathlessly. I couldn’t help but smile to myself.

“Right,” I said. I leaned in and kissed her on the neck again. There was that sensation again. I wanted to bite into her skin hard enough to draw blood. No, I can’t do that. This was Anri. She wasn’t them. I moved my mouth to her lips and kissed her again. She just let me do so. I made sure I used protection again.

We held each other afterward. She rested her head on my chest. The urge to keep her safe woke back up inside. I’ve already lost her before. I wasn’t going to lose her again.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you,” Anri said back. I let her go to sleep in my arms. By now, it had started to rain again. Somehow, I was fine with it. As long as I was with Anri, I had hope. Hope. It’s laughed in my face so many times before. I wasn’t going to give up this time. I would fight to stop this game. It was then I realized that I wasn’t alone anymore. I have always relied on numbers. This was going to be no different. Only, there was so much more at stake. More than any of us will ever know.

I leaned down and kissed Anri on her forehead. She had already gone to sleep. Usually, the rain like this would make me go to sleep. Instead, I looked out my window. It looked like it was going to be an all-night rain. I don’t think I really mind anymore. Just as long as I could be with Anri with what little time was left. No, I will have more time with her. I held her tighter to my body.

“I won’t let you die again,” I whispered. “I promise.” I closed my eyes and let my mind drift off to the rain pouring in the background. I will save her and our home.

Owari