#so i just feel spoiled and ugly for these thoughts now
Why is this even a question? How is your child meant to learn to apologize when you don’t do it yourself as a parent?
This is actually a really important factor in how I establish healthy, trusting relationships with kiddos at work. I am a human and therefore make mistakes, which children will catch and call me out for, because children are information sponges with no verbal filters.
When a kid says, “but miss tommy, i thought you said we’re not supposed to do that,” I answer, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do it again.” It could be something small, maybe a kid sees me biting my nails, or maybe I grabbed a kid by the arm who was about to collide with something solid but I grabbed too hard. Whatever it is, it’s important to
- acknowledge the mistake,
- apologize to the kid,
- and verbalize a plan to correct it.
Not only does this model HOW to make an effective apology, but it establishes trust on many levels. The children who witness the exchange now know that:
- I will be honest with them even if it does not serve my ego,
- I care about their feelings,
- and I am taking their needs seriously.
Apologize to your kids when you mess up! It won’t diminish your authority as their grown-up, it shows that you respect that authority!
This is one thing emotionally abusive parents are known for. Holding power over accountability and they wonder why their children don’t want to be around when they get older.
Yes. Yes so much yes.
This really goes for all adults who regularly interact with kids.
You’d be amazed how quickly an apology can help a situation with a difficult kid. How fast you can get a kid to listen to you if you acknowledge their feelings and ways you have, however intentionally or not, upset them. How much that can change their whole day to have an adult actually really talk to them like someone who matters.
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