OC relationships - Sansara

Got tagged by @rsuranas thank you peanut!!!

Solas, beginning:

Solas, established:

Solas, end:

Solas, again:

Now you! @latebuthere@thevikingwoman@ladylike-foxes@galadrieljones@aygstuff@ellstersmash@filoli@fickleobsession@empresstress13@savvylittleminx@dreadhobo and anyone else that wants to; just tag me so I can see it!! I did only one relationship, but ofc you can do it differently.

Pairing: Solas x Reader Lavellan

Word Count: 2783

Warnings: Sad.

A/N: Post Inquisition.  Lots of Solavallan feels.  This is incomplete and I don’t think I will ever finish it, but still, I thought I should share it.

Summary: Reader Lavellan reminisces and longs for Solas after the disbandment of the Inquisition.  An old friend brings hope to an otherwise bleak existence.

               I will never forget you.

               His voice was like tattered shreds of broken promises.  As sweet as the first taste on my lips and as cruel as the cold edge of a blade.  I heard it now, echoing like wisps in the dark; whispering of fading oaths and tokens of affection.

               I looked around at the sheltered cove with despairing nostalgia.  The rushing of the waterfall into the clear pool against the rock cliff seemed to lose its surreal beauty.  The majestic splendor of the elven statues that stood guard to the entrance of the cave dimmed, shedding their wonder.  Even the very moss underneath my bare feet seemed to lose the sheen and glow of tranquility.

               I knew this was a dream.  How I knew this, I was not entirely sure.  I was not even certain if this was a dream.  This place was heartbreakingly beautiful; very much like he was.  It was here that we had spent many hours; talking, laughing, and making love among many other sweet endeavors.  It was our own little sanctuary away from the Inquisition and Thedas itself.  But that was three years ago…a distant memory that still clung persistently to my heart.

               Also knowing that soon, as several times before, he would appear at the mouth of the cave, I turned expectantly.  Like a vision of magnificence, he stood there in his simple garb of cotton tunic and trousers.  I gasped with joy upon seeing his handsome features.

               “Solas.”

               The shattered cry that left my lips sounded agonized, almost like a sob.  My woeful mind, my aching body, my lonely heart, and my melancholy soul longed for him. I yearned for the softness of his touch, the warmth of his kisses, and the tenderness of his love.  It was a desire that pierced deep, so unfathomable that I do not think I could ever surface nor do I want to.

               He smiled at me sadly, the sapphire in his gaze darkening wretchedly.  I tried moving closer, willing my legs to step further, but my body stay rooted to the edge of the pool like I knew they would.  Nevertheless, I struggled to reach him, wishing upon everything in my life for this small blessing.

               “Solas, don’t leave me!” I called out terrified. “Please!”

               The rush of moisture brimmed on my eyelids, coursing down my cheeks as torment clawed within me.  I felt the onslaught of a thousand swords bleeding me dry in the form of tears.  My shoulders trembled as I wept and my very being felt distraught.

               I will never forget you, vhenan.

               “Solas!” I screamed and bolted upright from the pile of sheets that I had been laying on.  My chest heaved frantically, the tears still wet on my face.  I stared into the darkness of my tent seeing clearly in my mind the cove.  My throat was parched, the chill of night chafing at my bare skin.  Desolation choked me as I flung the sheets off. Stepping out into the cool darkness, I did not care that all I had on was the thin raiment I used for sleeping.

               Passing one of the aravels, I headed further into the forest away from camp.  The rest of the clan slumbered quietly as I slipped between huge trunks and tangled bushes. Stopping at a massive tree, I leaned against the rough bark and cried miserably.  The dreams or whatever they were came to me every night now, stronger and more vivid than the one before it.  They always left me painfully bereft and achingly drained.  I had vowed to myself that I would not rest until I found him again, but the torment of his absence had taken its toll on me.  Very seldom do I sleep now and thoughts of faraway memories always accosted my every waking moment.

               I hated how the anguish had reduced me to a lost and broken creature, and I could very well blame Solas for his abandonment, but the love that soared so readily inside me would not allow my heart to fault him.  Was I being selfish to desire him for my own?  To want him for the sake of our love?  Although his explanations of the Evanuris and the creation of the Veil astounded me, I refused to believe that he would destroy this world to restore Elvhenan.

               “Solas, come back to me,” I pleaded into the wind. “You said you did not want me to see what you have become, but you must be weaving these incurable dreams.  Do not lie to yourself into thinking you can leave so easily, when clearly you cannot!”

               Sighing heavily, I finally thought to myself that I had gone mad.  In the days following his departure in the elven ruins, I was steadfast in what I swore to upheld.  When I ordered the Inquisition disbanded, I promised that I would save Solas from himself whether he wanted me to or not.

               Now as the months passed, I slowly began to grieve like he had died.  I saw visions of him that I could not explain and visited the cove nightly like a vessel that needed to be constantly filled.  When silence was too much to bear, I often talked out loud as if he was there.  Of course, I never expected him to acknowledge or give any type of a sign.  This only further proved that I no longer could see reason for fear of losing him completely.

               “Are you well, da’len?” Keeper Deshanna asked softly as I chewed slowly on my food.  I looked at her face across the table.  The dark markings of the vallaslin was a sharp contrast to the ivory of her skin and the silver of her hair.  “You look troubled.”

               “I am fine,” I answered and swallowed.  She scrutinized me warily, concern in her green eyes.  I averted my glance, no longer hungry.  I stood up to leave, but she stopped me.

               “The dreams are getting worse…and so are you,” she pointed out.  “Perhaps it is time to let go of something you can no longer hold on to.”

               The tears that so eagerly sprung to my eyes blurred my vision as her meaning impaled my heart.  I knew that she meant well, but her concern somehow angered me. I walked away without saying a word, which was awfully rude, but at the moment, I did not care.

               Walking past several other clan members who eyed me curiously, I made my way to the training area.  It was cordoned off to the side as a safety precaution, but it was not far from the camp.  Striding to the table where an array of weapons were, the suffering in my chest gave way to fury as I hastily seized one of the longbows with my right hand.

               “Y/N, you cannot keep to this pain.  It has consumed you,” Keeper Deshanna spoke at my side.  Following me, she sighed with worry.  “Loss can be overcome, da’len.

               “No, it cannot!” I replied, bitterly.  I turned to glare at her, the spark of rage boiled in my chest.  “It can only be hidden, not truly healed.”

               “It can, if you allow it to,” she gently, advised. “You have not lost everything.”

               “Not lost everything?” I sneered, aghast.  “The Inquisition is done.  I was betrayed by one of my companions.  Lost my left hand,” I rambled heatedly, throwing the bow down in disgust.  “Found out that everything the hahren had taught us about the gods we worshipped was not entirely true.”

               I looked away crossly, the displeasure twisting uneasily within.

               “Abandoned by my one true love…tell me then, Keeper. How have I notlost everything?” I demanded, irritably.

               “As long as you have breath in your chest, then you have something.  And something may not be everything, but it’s a start,” Keeper Deshanna replied, wisely. I looked back at her wrinkled face, calm emerald eyes and felt the anger ebb away.  She stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

               “Do not walk the same path as Fen’Harel.  Yours is not the Din’anshiral, da’len.”

               I lowered my gaze sadly, feeling distressed and vastly forlorn.

               “I love him, Keeper,” I whispered, emotion filling my voice with woe.

               “Perhaps Fen’Harel knew his fate.  Perhaps…he left to protect you, knowing the way he tread only led to death,” she counseled, astutely.  Squeezing my shoulder with compassion, Keeper Deshanna consoled motherly.

               “I would have gladly walked beside him as I have done before,” I said, wistfully.  Her aged face frowned kindly.

               “Are you certain?  If your roles were reversed.  Would you not protect the one you love, even if it meant an eternity of separation?”

               I closed my eyes, understanding and loathing the truth of her words.  Deep it was, the guidance she gave me.  Even after discovering this, the pining love that yearned for him did not easily settle down.  It remained, weeks after this conversation and well into the next month.  It seemed time was a nasty friend, stretching it like frayed leather over rough wood.

               Reprieve came in the form of a letter hand delivered by none other than Scout Harding one early morning.  The likable dwarf was all smiles when she was escorted to me by two hunters.  She bowed reverently and exclaimed in her kind voice.

               “Inquisitor, I am so very glad to see you!”

               “You know I don’t go by that title no longer, Lace,” I reminded her, but she waved it off as if it was just some bothersome fly.

               “To me, you will always be the Inquisitor.  Old habits die hard,” Harding answered, grinning. I could not help but smile with her. She handed me an envelope with a wax seal.  “Courtesy of your previous Spymaster.”

               Using my right hand, I pried the paper open and read the note.  Letters in a familiar scrawl splashed across the page.  After reading it, I eyed Scout Harding with surprise.

               “Leliana wants to meet me?”

               “Yes, Your Worship.  It would probably be best if you met her.  She doesn’t think your clan is too fond of shemlen,” Harding explained, glancing quickly at the soon approaching elves behind me.  On that account, she would be correct.  The respect that Leliana showed by only sending a single person was so very akin to her personality that another smile curved on my lips.

               “Lead the way,” I replied and without further hesitation, I followed her back into the woods.  We walked for quite some time, through the tousled limbs of dense foliage until we reached a small copse where the trunks of trees sparsely stood. A small band of people bustled about and at the center stood Leliana in Gurn hide armor, a curved bow over her back and twin daggers sheathed at her sides.  When she saw me led by Harding, she hurried over and embraced me.

               “By the Divine, so good to see you, Y/N,” she greeted and grinned.  The blue of her eyes shimmered with friendly fondness.

               “Do not let Cassandra hear you say that,” I quipped and she laughed.  “What clandestine deeds have you been plotting?  What brings you here, old friend?”

               The joy in her azure gaze darkened and the smile faded from her pale face.  From a pocket at her belt, Leliana pulled out aged twine, nestled underneath was the inky smoothness of a bone.  I took it from her palm, pleasant remembrances coalesced into several lovely images.

               “This belonged to Solas,” I uttered softly, stroking the jaw bone.  “He always wore it.  How did you get this?”

               “It was found…in Skyhold,” Leliana expressed, darkly. I looked at her with surprise.

               “Skyhold?” I gasped, shocked.  “The fortress has been deserted since the Inquisition disbanded.”

               She crossed her arms as she often did when she was reluctant to convey information.  If it was anyone other than who she completely trusted, she would not be willing to divulge this pressing evidence.  I was glad that Leliana deemed me trustworthy.

               “Whispers of something that stirs behind the walls of Skyhold has reached the ears of my agents.  Something light of feet and agile as smoke has been spotted there,” she announced, warily.  “I dispatched one of my agents to discover what lies within.  It was Scout Harding that brought that back,” Leliana nodded to the wolf bone that I grasped.  I turned to peer at the dwarf, who had been standing to the side listening.

               “What did you find out, Lace?” I inquired as she stepped forth.  The auburn of her tightly coifed hair gleamed beneath the dappled hues of fractured sunlight.

               “Not much, I’m afraid.  A lot of dust and empty rooms, but nothing significant. Although, I did have the eerie feeling of being watched with unseen eyes.  I found the necklace in the atrium beneath the library,” Harding described as I lowered my gaze to stare at the black bone.  My heart softened as recollections of this very talisman rested against a strong chest that I used to frequently place my head on.

               “That is where Solas spent most of his time,” I said, blandly.  “But he rarely took this off.  It was important to him.  He would not have left it behind.”

               “I suspect that he had at some point been to Skyhold after the Inquisition dispersed.  For what or why, I don’t know,” Leliana theorized, firmly. “Knowing who he really is now is only proof that he has certain ways of entering and leaving without being detected.”

               My former Spymaster eyed me hopefully, strands of her crimson hair poked out from underneath the hood that she wore.

               “You and Solas were close.  Did he ever mention the significance of Skyhold?” Leliana questioned.  I frowned, confusion waltzing in my mind like a drunken fool.

               “Not that I can remember.  Tarasyl’an Te’las was once an elven stronghold.  Elven magic slumbered there since the fall of Arlathan.  Its’ secrets are now lost to time.”

               “Secrets that Solas alone knows,” Leliana confirmed. “He was the one that led us there. It cannot be a coincidence that the late Inquisition was rebuilt there, unless its hidden purpose was veiled from us all.”

               “What are you saying?” I asked her, candidly. She shifted her weight from foot to foot as if excited at what she was about to disclose.

               “Under false pretenses, Solas helped us finish Corypheus as a ruse for his own gain.  We inadvertently aided his plan all along.  You said so yourself, he means to destroy this world!”

               “He only seeks to restore what was lost.  He only desires to undo what he has done!” I argued, plainly.  Leliana glared at me, unsure she had heard right.  Narrowing her cobalt eyes, she fixed me with a skeptical gaze.

               “Do you really believe that?” she demanded, doubtfully. “This is Solas!  The Dread Wolf, the one who tricked the elven gods!  The one who deceived us!  How could you believe his lies now, when he all but smite you down when you were already broken?!”

               I listened to her words with a heavy heart, knowing that a part of me agreed with her judgement.  What she said mirrored the truth of thousands of years of lost history and now it was repeating once again.

               No matter what comes, I want you to know that what we had was real.

               His voice echoed like the thunder during a storm and felt like the cold rain upon my skin.  The love that I had for him roared like the call from the maw of a dragon, casting down the shackles of certainty that held me fast.

               “My friend, I fear you are the only one who does not see him for what he really is.  His deception has made you vulnerable.  He has completely taken over your mind, body and soul!” Leliana stated with concern.

               May the Dread Wolf take you.

               “You do not know him like I do, Leliana.  He is not devious.  He is not evil,” I claimed, adamantly.  She glanced toward the trees in thought, contemplating my declaration. After a moment, she returned her sapphire eyes to my own.

               “Then help me prove it.  Come back with me to Skyhold,” Leliana requested.  “Perhaps, there are answers there that can appease your heart and my mind.”

               Determination etched in her fair face, emblazoned like bright runes upon the bloodstone blade of a great sword.  The unwavering purpose that I saw there lifted my spirits up a notch. Leliana was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt despite her own beliefs and that was the mark of true friendship.  I smiled and she returned with a grin of her own.

               “To Tarasyl’an Te’las, we shall go.”

solavellan sketch

“Solas, var lath vir suledin”

“You would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better?”

<What is the old Dalish curse? “May the Dread Wolf take you”?>

please