#sowwy boys i got a bit

here we go here’s my incoherent ruin thoughts because I have passed the point of being able to count full album listens. I’m normal.

so we’ve got like… this big mess of dark and triumphant imagery, we’ve got broken bits, we’ve got learning and re-learning ourselves, the failed and dogged attempts to hold another damaged person together and keep them safe and/or to hold the own discordant pieces of ourselves together, fear and bravery, anxiety and darkness, etc etc

one thought that a “mother” and “father” could also be just any influences, any traumas, foundational things that shape and form us, so we’ve got a) the narrators from chords and b) old witch sleep and good man grace in juxtaposition. I’ve lost my thought there but uh love as a burden, love as a form of grief, love as a vicegrip and also love as letting go, love as a tough bit of self-care, love as a refusal to be hurt anymore.

listen. the tone shifts in a lot of the songs that grow into these big choral soaring things. I think that. is exceptionally slutty.

inkpot gods gets me worst of all in ways I can’t quite talk about. I would and most literally did beg to any god who would listen to keep him breathing, but you can’t really love someone well and whole, and he gave up a year ago. how wild that I wrote some trite little note on a fic about how he’d gone on to wander paths elsewhere until I can catch up and now get hit with that swelling repetition of “if I don’t make it back from where I’ve gone, / just know I’ve loved you all along”. I never got that affirmation but it’s a good fucking fantasy.