#speaking as something of an expert since mine is a didf

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miraculan-draws:

Some of the men yall tag as dilfs are SHAMEFUL. I was looking for dilf memes (it is not important why) and all I see is a parade of rosy-cheeked unblemished dandy men. Slapping a beard on a 26 year old in a suit is not a dilf, you are besmirching the title. There is a recipe, a Dilf Recipe. You do not need all these ingredients but you must have AT LEAST three: a child/ward/apprentice of some sort, crows feet, laugh lines/frown lines, sun damage, gray hairs, dark circles, Depression, intriguing battle scars/injuries/missing limb, Divorced, body hair, a look in the eyes that screams for A Moment of Relief, etc etc. Like the bar is low. Ben Barnes is not a Dilf. Harry Styles with 5 o’clock shadow is not a dilf. TIMMY CHARDONNAY IS NOT A DILF. You are all WEAK your blood is WEAK put that man BACK IN THE OVEN UNTIL HES DONE THESE DUDES ARENT AL DENTE THEY ARE CRUNCHY AND DUNKED IN WATER PUT THEM BACK LET THEM COOK

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