#spidermonkey

You all knew it was coming, I’m ranking the UAF ultimate aliens however, unlike all of my other posts where I just scream and make up rules as I go on what is bullshit and what isn’t, I’m gonna make actual criteria scores. There is 3 places the ultimate aliens will get scored on, 1. How much better the fight scenes get because of the ultimateification, the whole point of ultimate aliens is to show off lit fights with powered up aliens so obvs you gotta get points here, aliens can score a possible 4/4 points for this. The second score area is how FUCKING SWEET IT IS, this is very similar to the first point but imagine it’s the less mature version of it, so on paper how cool does the alien now look this will be scored out of 3. Finally the final piece, the melancholy score, this is a weird one I fully admit but despite how cool ultimate aliens are I always had a weird feeling about them, it’d be like making your dog a teenage mutant terminator dog, sure it’s cool but also you’ve perverted it’s DNA and form possibly to an unrecognizable state just so it can be a better and stronger fighter, a living weapon. The melancholy area is scored out of 2. With that all sorted out lets begin in order.

Ultimate Humungousaur 

Fight improvement: ¾

FUCKING SWEET: 3/3

Melancholy: ½

Overall score: 7/9

Ultimate humungousaur is fucking ridiculous in all the best ways, there’s absolutely no need for a giant spiked turtle shell, no reason for a mace on his tail and no science behind his GUN HANDS but that’s the beauty of him, he’s just over the top and it’s great. I think the only ways to really improve him for me would be to use his shell more as an offensive weapon like have him retract in there and do a spinny thing (or get rid of the spikes, I wouldn’t dock points for that) and to give him the omniverse head and metal tubes around his body to make it more apparent how high the cost that having guns for hands really is just to boost up the melancholy feeling.

Also for your viewing pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DoQVTyjRNA

Ultimate Swampfire

Fight improvement: ¾

FUCKING SWEET: 3/3

Melancholy: 2/2

Total score: 8/9

If it wasn’t apparent from me making an entire post about this guy I love ultimate swamp fire and think he’s probably the best ultimate alien there is. I already went over how him going from having bright greens and reds and yellows to having dead brown wood covering 90% of him, blue napalm goo covering the last 10% and the fact that he’s honestly unrecognizable as Swampfire meaning that returning to his own species would probably result in his at worst, murder and at best, permanent shunning really anchors in that SAD feeling so lets talk fights. 

His bulky design just says power and the blue flames and sound effects they use for it really cements that in, my only complaint is that when he runs he looks STUPID, I would’ve preferred him lumber and be a bit like the terminator or Jason Voorhees as this unstoppable monster that slowly comes at you and will destroy you. Awesome design and execution

Ultimate Spidermonkey

Fight improvement: 4/4

FUCKING SWEET: 2/3

Melancholy: ½

Total score: 7/9

This guy right here redeemed Spidermonkey for me, rather than feeling like tiny nuisance for the bad guys he felt like this huge agile monster. I love how his jaw splits for the web to come out and how his spider legs just LAUNCH him everywhere. Also those spider legs make him have more from above attacks which hardcore improves the fighting. I do see that he should probably get a 2/2 on the melancholy scale as again he’s unrecognizable as a spidermoneky but because I see chimps and gorillas in the same animal group my own chimp brain still recognizes him as a monkey even if his species wouldn’t. Another sick design and I love how this one is simple but works well.

Ultimate Big Chill

Fight improvement: ¼

FUCKING SWEET: 2/3

Melancholy: ½

4/9

Okay I like Ultimate big chill but really talk he’s just a echo fighter of big chill, a nice one though! I love the reds for this character we’re so used to seeing as blue, he’s very aesthetically pleasing and seeing him breath fire is lit (hee hee) but really they couldn’t do anything else? Maybe have him shoot the flames into the sky and make hail/snow for cover? Or even give him a fire trail while he flies. I like his design but also recognize that he’s p lazy. If i where making him I would’ve made him black on the outside to enhance his ominous outside feeling but keep the inside red to contrast it, I would also make it so his fire breath also blew strong winds to be able to knock enemies back and give his attacks more weight.

 Ultimate Echo echo

Fight improvement: 2/4

FUCKING SWEET: 3/3

Melancholy: 2/2

Total score 6/9

Ultimate Echo echo is a good one, it makes a normally dorky alien actually look intimidating and imposing and he had some crazy impressive feats like CRUSHING ultimate Kevin. Getting the bad stuff out of the way I think that Ultimate Echo echo makes the fights look cooler but mechanically they’re pretty much the same, Ben makes a bunch of sound creating duplicates and/or screams and beats the competition the only real difference being that Ultimate Echo echo is stronger and can fly meaning he can do some superman shit. Where echo echo makes up for this is the brutal and more robotic fights, Ultimate echo echo has his melancholy and fucking sweet hand in hand. I think objectively Ben ripping a piece of himself off and hucking it at a bad guy is more serious and sick gnarly then him making another cute boy to fight with him and it highlights this lonely ultimate echo echo gives off, he was once surrounded by tens or hundreds but now he alone. Even ultimate echo echo’s voice gives off this isolated quality as any touch of emotion is gone its just the logic behind the words. He’s haunting and brutal and another one of my faves.