100 years ago today, the Seattle Metropolitans became the first American hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. (It was much smaller then than it is now.) I threw a party to celebrate the centennial, and @hockeybabbler decorated this cake for the occasion.
I was washing dishes when this headcannon came to me. Here you go:
What do you get an NHL star for his birthday? To be honest, Bitty is broke and while he could probably make a small fortune selling late night hand pies to the post party set at 2am, he has a better idea.
Bitty, with the enthusiastic help of the SMH, makes a “Drunk History of Hockey: the Story of Lord Stanley’s Cup”.
Lardo is in charge of filming.
Both because it was Bitty’s idea and because his accent is amplified while intoxicated, the team makes Bitty do the voice over.
One bottle of merlot in, and Bitty is ready, dressed in Jack’s Falconer’s jersey.
“Hey y’all! I am about to regale and amaze you with the story of Ice Hockey and the Stanley’s Cup. No Stanley Cup. Yes, Stanley Cup. Ok, here we go.”
Lardo edits the film to sepia tone and adds a measured flicker to the film to make it look dated. The story starts with Shitty skating into frame on the pond. Bitty’s voice comes in, “So this guy in cold ass Nova Scotia, named James Creighton says, “thank you N.S. but you are too cold for me, so I’m going to Montreal! “ And when he gets there, he’s all like, “Damnit! It’s cold here too! But I got my sticks and I got these cool ass boots with knives strapped on with clamps, let’s take this mess indoors!”
Bitty takes a moment to get another glass of wine before continuing with the story.
The camera pans back to Shitty now standing in Faber Ice Arena in a far corner to give the allusion that it was 100 years ago. “Alright, so then, Creighton makes a team and people run in like…” At this point in the tape, Ransom skates onto the ring, “Dude, you can’t play hockey indoors! What if you kill someone with that ball that you are just smacking around on the ice?” And Creighton is all like, “Man, I’m going to like answer your concern with something even more dangerous! Instead of a round wooden ball, how about I flatten it to something resembling a miniature frisbee of death!”
The camera cuts back to Bitty, “What do you mean frisbees weren’t invented yet? Whatever, you know what I mean.”
Bitty takes the story through the first few games of hockey and all the way to the first leagues, the Governor General of Canada, Lord Stanley, and the inclusion and exclusion in the Olympic games.
When Jack gets the video, he has to pause it periodically because he’s laughing so hard as his boyfriend gets progressively drunker and Shitty’s acting gets more and more over the top. The entire team had fun filming the various roles for the video.
The video becomes a yearly tradition to be formally screened on Jack’s birthday or anytime at all when he feels even the littlest bit sad.
June 14th 1994 - The New York Rangers win the Stanley Cup
“The New York Rangers are the Stanley Cup champions. And this one will last a lifetime.” - Sam Rosen, who called the game in New York.
The Rangers ended a 54 year Stanley Cup drought when they beat the Vancouver Canucks in 7 games. It was and still is longest gap between Stanley Cups for any team in the NHL. The Chicago Blackhawks broke their 49 year wait in 2010, and it took the Boston Bruins 39 when they won in 2011. Currently the Toronto Maple Leafs are going strong with 47.
The Rangers were thought to have been cursed. During the 1940 season, the mortgage on (the third) Madison Square Garden, was paid off. When they won the Stanley Cup that year, arena management symbolically burned the mortgage in the bowl of the Cup. This led fans to believe that the Stanley Cup, a sacred object, had been “desecrated”, leading the “hockey gods” to place a curse on the Rangers.
The championship was the sixth for captain Mark Messier and one that solidified his legacy in New York, in the NHL, and in sports. He is the only player in professional sports to captain two different teams to championships (the other team was the Edmonton Oilers).
Currently the Rangers have 8 retired numbers hanging from the rafters and half of them are from this Stanley Cup team: Brian Leetch - 2, Adam Graves - 9, Mark Messier - 11, and Mike Richter - 35.
I’ve been putting off writing this entry. The Rangers were in the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since they won in 1994 and, fitting or not, the series ended early in the morning today when the Los Angeles Kings scored in double overtime.
I have been a long time New York Rangers fan. And though I was just a kid in 1994, I remember how electrifying it was watching that New York team go to the finals and win. I imagine it felt the same way in Boston when they won the World Series in 2004, breaking a curse that was almost twice as long.
There is something about a sports team that can unite a city. The 1994 Rangers united New York, and unfortunately tore apart Vancouver. After the Rangers won there were riots in the streets of Vancouver. An estimated 50,000 to 70,000 individuals converged upon Downtown Vancouver and police were forced to use tier gas and rubber bullets on citizens. The total damage was 1.1 million CAD.
The Clarkson Cup is over and the Toronto Furies have taken home their first Clarkson Cup which probably means there’s more parity in the CWHL than the NHL. 10. A Week of Returns There were a few returns of note this week, from Patrick Roy returning to the franchise he stormed out on to former captains Rick Nash and Zach Parise returning to play their former teams. Both left in the summer of…
RedEye Photo Editor Lenny Gilmore spent more than 30 hours creating this Blackhawks fan tribute cover – shooting individual portraits of more than 50 fans dressed in the team’s colors, then collaging into the image you see, here. The season may be over, but fandom is forever.
I love that my dad and I text during hockey games. We basically just do a live play by play commentary on the games. Sharing this hobby brings us closer together.
Invitations to Shabbat dinner and lunches and feeling welcomed into my new community.
Feeling fortunate that I have the time and luxury to spend a month in Israel this summer.
Reading books that expand my mind and challenge me to think deeper. Almost finished with The Art of Leaving by Ayelet Tsabari (an Israeli-Canadian who writes about her experiences as a Mizrahi women), and it is completely phenomenal.
Making a good cup of tea and sitting down to watch television/movies. Have been really enjoying these programs lately: Derry Girls (just started season 2), Shtisel (in the middle of season 2), Schitts Creek (the 5th season is so good!), and Unicorn Store.
i’d like to apologize now for any shit i talk about your team during the playoffs…SIKE i’m not sorry at all!!! fuck your team!!! it’s the playoffs!! square up buddy!!!
