#submissiveness

submissive-wife-nl:

that I am subjugated.

That I should stand up for myself. 
That I should not be controlled in such a manner. 
That I should not allow a man to think for me. 
That I should not allow my Husband the freedoms that I give him with my body. 
That I should be more independent, be more of a feminist.  

The truth is this. 

Every time I lift my skirt for Him, I am free. 
Every time I am spanked, it is liberating. 
Every time I offer my breasts to Him, it is for my pleasure. 
Every time I serve Him dinner, iron His shirts, look after His home and needs, drop to my knees to suck His penis: I am doing so because I want to. Because I need to. 

He gives me the freedom to be the woman I want to be. 

I am not subjugated. I am liberated. 

Devotional Training: Be set free.

good-girls-edge:

My site is dedicated to long distance submission, but it has a lot of edging content. So I get several DMs from women who are struggling with edging and want advice and/or “one-on-one” sessions to help them.

I love doing either. If I can help a woman achieve what they desire that makes me feel special. And let’s face it, if an intense orgasm goes along with that then I feel pretty damn special. But this is only edging, it’s not about ownership.

The issue I have is DMs from submissive women who want me to be a Sir part-time. I decided to do this post because of the article I reblogged yesterday. Item number 9 had this to say…

“Stick around. Fact is, most subs vanish as soon as the honeymoon wears off. This phenomenon of women who beg for submission then pull the ripcord at 3-7 months once it’s no longer all about them makes Doms cynical, hard, and reluctant to engage“

I am guilty of letting this bother me. About 2 months ago, I got a DM from a submissive who just wanted to be “submissive”. I was in “cynical” mode from “part-time” women who really only cared about their pleasure when it was convenient for them. So when I saw she wasn’t following my directions I snapped at her. This was probably the first time she even tried being submissive and I was a complete ass. I should have reacted differently but what was done was done. I did apologize later, but I am sure I was just seen as an “ass” making an apology. That was so out of character for me, I have been told many times I am extremely patient. It was one of those times I wish I could get a do-over. I do know I won’t let myself make that mistake again.

Why do so many women think part-time submission is okay? I understand this may be your first time. I understand that it can be scary. I understand that you may have a busy life. That is the beauty of long distance submission. It is the natural progression for those who want to take the next step but are not ready for face to face. But if you are not ready to “stick around” I have no desire to be your Sir. I get zero pleasure from part-time Domming.

My life is busy too. That’s why I only focus on long distance submission. I get my pleasure from edging you, making you squirm and beg, taking care of you, dressing you the way I like,  and bringing you the strongest orgasm I can. I can’t do that part-time. Just because I want daily updates doesn’t mean you have to feel pressured into having a “one-on-one” DM session every single day. 

It’s all about good communication. You tell me your needs/wants, I will tell you mine. That means it won’t be (as) scary and we work out the busy issues. But you have to be willing to take a deep breathe and dive in. Full time.

Devotional Training: Truism.

traditionalistwife:

traditionalistwife:

- casually tell me i am dumb / stupid

- make me fetch you a drink

- order for me

- exclude me from ‘manly’ conversations such as politics or world events

- tell me to cover up or show more skin

- grab my ass in public

- tell me to make you food

- degrade me in front of your friends / other people

- expect me to be presentable at all times

- use my body to masturbate and make it clear that sex isnt for me

- slap / spank me when i do something you dont like

- undermine my opinion about anything because im ‘stupid’ and ‘just a woman’

- expect me to clean for you and make me if i dont

- show to your friends how well trained and submissive i am as if i am your possession or pet

- never let me cum without permission

- hold high expectations for how i should dress, wear my makeup, and act, and enforce those expectations

- never let me do anything you consider manly or masculine

i will be adding more to this list <3

717 notes?! i did not expect that!!

Devotional Training.

thecrimsoncommander:

thedarkstargazer:

instructor144:

instructor144:

(this piece needed some cleanup and formatting, so I’m reposting it)

i reblogged a wonderful piece a few days ago,  “ten things a sub expects a dom to know without being told.” A really good piece, strong and thought provoking.But as is so often the case here on Tumblr, the emphasis is the same as it is in a porn flick: “It’s all about the girl.” So I decided that this called for a counterpoint to balance the dialectical scales and possibly even spur some discussion. Those who have read the piece I reblogged will recognize some of these 10 items as being more or less identical to the items in that piece. This is by design, and is intended to emphasize that so much of the glue that holds a D/s relationship together is reciprocal.

And so without further ado …

“ten things a dom expects a sub to know without being told”

1.He needs to be the priority. Your Dominant cannot be put in the corner and trotted out when you need him. Make him your priority even during those
times when you think you DON’T need him. Because the truth of it is, even during those times, you secretly do need him, you just aren’t consciously
aware of it. 

2. He has emotions and needs them acknowledged. The internet (and Tumblr is especially egregious in this regard) has created the toxic stereotype of
the Dominant as this calm, cold, unemotional Olympian figure who is always as in charge of himself as he is of his submissive. Many a submissive has
run screaming into the night at the sight of her Dominant having a moment of weakness, or self-doubt, or — The Horror! — shedding a tear. Accept that
your Dominant is human, and respect the effort he exerts to be strong and confident for you 99% of the time.

3. Know him better than others. If your Dominant is having emotional difficulties, or even something as “insignificant” as a bad day at the office, you damn well better know it before his friends do.

4. Let him control things (including you). That is his responsibility. Yours is to obey.

5. Abide by the rules. Your Dominant constructs various rules, tasks, rituals, etc, for a purpose. That purpose may not always be obvious to you. It doesn’t have to be. Trust that he knows what he’s doing, and accept the fact that submitting to his rules on a daily basis is just  plain hard work. If you’re not willing to put in the work, then you should do some soul-searching and evaluate how deep (or even genuine) your submission really is.

6. Remember that he is yours. This is always reciprocal. Just as he expects your total devotion and commitment and fidelity, you have the right to expect those things from him. To be clear, this is not the same as taking your Dominant for granted. Just as he has to earn those things from you every day, so you also have to earn them from him every day.

7. Appreciate the work he puts into you, and let him KNOW that you appreciate it. Being a dominant (especially in a day-to-day rather than sporadic relationship) is damned  hard work. Let him know how much it means to you that he considers you worthy of all that work and direction and energy.

8. Be mindful of your respective positions in the D/s relationship. He is your Dominant. Can you be affectionately playful and impish? Yes; any Dominant who doesn’t  relish such from his submissive on occasion has some significant self-confidence issues. Sarcastic or willfully bratty? Not a good idea. Not a good idea AT ALL.

9. Give the same respect you get. If he shows you that, despite the way your relationship might look to the vanillas, he holds you in the highest respect, then return that  respect. If you come to the conclusion that he does NOT hold you in the highest respect, you might want to evaluate your relationship and possibly move on.

10. Above all else: he expects your submission to be whole and complete and without reservation, save for those things that the two of you negotiate as equals BEFORE you offer him your submission. Once you submit, he has full right and claim to ALL of you. You don’t get to cherry pick your submission. You don’t get to submit in just those areas where it’s convenient. You don’t get to submit just when you’re in the mood. There are no half-measures with your submission. If you can’t honestly say to yourself that you are all-in, then accept the fact that this means you’re not in AT ALL, and decide what to do about it.

Reblogged at the request of Follower @submissive-daydream.

You don’t get to cherry pick your submission

Crimson Arts Essence: Expectations.

Devotional Training.

We need to start popularizing this!