#taejoon

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to the end of the road

Vmon sketches

Likeness of the faces is not my strength so forgive me for Tae looking so generic lmao

[what if i said i love you instead]

lxi. what if i said i love you instead

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a/n: OKAY!! we have made it to jimins concert, wowza that took a while. i hope this lives up to your expectations, because i wrote like three different versions of it and this was the one i liked the most, so. i really hope you guys like it as much as i do. there’s alsooo another part to this update that i put on ao3, which i linked at the end of the written part below. and Also no update next week because i uhhhhh havent written it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ fjfksjfsk so written update is below and part two is in the link at the end, please enjoy, i will see you guys in two weeks!!

taglist:@aa1482003@armybrainrot@tiarae66@keobkkeik@storm-in-a-glass@lovelytammie@breakfastalonelikeme@sxnshineparkers@wondderlove@facepalmmylifeu@ponponam@squeakermarie@magicshooooop@strange-down-here@3lueandgrey@till-the-end-oftheline@secretlycrazyhummingbird@sanniehub@princess-from-another-galaxy@jiminho-s@thealmightykiwi87@titsoutforhyuna@strawberrychipstonight@daech-witless@noonas-magicshop@baravodkat@reynacrs

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word count: 3.8k

~~~~~

Jimin fiddles anxiously with the rings on his fingers. He’s in the dressing room of some massive venue in Seoul before the second show of his tour, and a stylist is flitting about, spraying shit at him, adjusting his hair, he doesn’t even know at this point.

He’s been thinking about Jungkook all day.

In fact, he’s spent the (incredibly long) four days it’s been since the breakup trying and failing to keep his mind off of Jungkook completely. He’s hung out with his friends, gone to tour rehearsals and stayed extra hours, even watched k-dramas in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep, but his mind always circles back to one thing. One person.

My person, his heart whispers. He desperately tells it to shut up.

He hates himself for it, how easily he stays hooked on every little detail about Jungkook, almost as if he’s trying to burn him into his memory. Jungkook’s laugh, loud and bright in Jimin’s ear while they watched a movie, but quietly amused from across the room while he scrolled on his phone. His voice, lilting and beautiful when he sings, captivating and energetic when he talks about his passions. His hands, curled gently, always gently, around Jimin’s smaller ones. His eyes, big and earnest, that sparkled with the entire night sky whenever he looked at Jimin. His lips, pink and pretty, soft against Jimin’s own, the faint apple cinnamon taste of his chapstick that Jimin had gotten so easily lost in every time they kissed.

Jimin fucking hates himself.

He’d been sad and distracted as all hell during the first show of the tour last night because Jungkook’s words kept flashing through his mind (‘if it wouldn’t cause a media meltdown i would come to every seoul show to support you’ Jungkook had texted him once, back when they were still just friends, and Jimin’s heart had flipped without his permission), and he wanted so badly for Jungkook to be there, cheering him on from the side of the stage, kissing him during the breaks, telling him how proud he is of Jimin. It’s not fair that they’ll never have that, that they couldn’t have had that even if they hadn’t broken up.

It’s not fair that it’s still what Jimin wants more than anything.

And it should be enough: he has people who care about him, who love him. His friends, his family, his fans. They’re all here to support him. Jimin shouldn’t want, shouldn’t need anything more than that.

It should be enough.

It isn’t.

______

Watching Jimin perform is beyond everything Jungkook thought it would be.

He’s magnetic, hitting high notes with ease, drawing the crowd in with his charisma. It almost feels like he’s seducing all of them, the way his gaze lingers on their faces, the way he teases at the hem of his shirt as he dances, rolls his hips in time to certain songs, sexy and powerful and he knows it, too.

Jungkook’s spent the entire two hour show simply watching in awe from where he’s nestled in the middle of the crowd, black mask and baseball cap keeping his identity relatively hidden, Taehyung pressed warm against him.

“Fuck, he’s incredible,” Jungkook breathes, for what must be the hundredth time, and Taehyung pats him on the back.

“You’re so whipped,” he replies into Jungkook’s ear.

“Hey! I can appreciate a good performance when I see one! It doesn’t mean I’m whipped,” he huffs, but Tae just pats him again.

“Sure, buddy. Sure.”

Maybe he‘s whipped. Whatever.

He turns his attention back to the stage, where Jimin is now sitting on a stool, microphone stand in front of him, and he looks so soft and small in his pink sweater, Jungkook almost forgets that he’s this huge, famous idol that has girls and guys alike falling at his feet. Right now, he’s just Jimin.

Jungkook’s Jimin, the one who hid his face in Jungkook’s shoulder when they watched scary movies, the one who made Jungkook push him higher higher higher on the swings at the park because it made him feel like he was flying, the one who kissed Jungkook against his kitchen counters just because he could, because he wanted to.

The one who Jungkook fell in love with, easy, easy.

Always easy with Jimin.

Andgod, Jungkook misses him. He’s right there, right there, and Jungkook can’t reach him, can’t touch him, hold him, kiss him. It’s a special kind of torture.

“Are you guys having fun?” Jimin says into the mic, pulling Jungkook’s attention back to the present, especially when the stadium erupts. Soft laughter spills from Jimin’s mouth. “That’s good, I’m glad.”

Suddenly, Jungkook is in a trance, and he gets the feeling he’s not the only one.

“I’m really happy to be here with all of you lovely people tonight,” Jimin continues. “Most of you don’t know this, but for the past week I’ve been going through something pretty difficult, and I… kind of wrote a song about it? So if you guys are okay with it, I’d like to sing it for you now.”

Louder cheers, louder screams, a couple people shouting we love you, Jimin!

Then the song starts, and Jungkook can’t breathe.

I wrote some words about you that youll never hear

Cried but I still tried to smile from ear to ear

I say love is the only thing i fear

But I think love is the only thing keeping me here

It’s just Jimin’s soft vocals and gentle acoustic guitar coming through the speakers, and Jungkook grips Taehyung’s hand next to him.

“Is this about me?” he asks, disbelieving, and Tae doesn’t say anything. He desn’t have to.

I wrote a song for you

I’m gonna sing it ‘til my lungs are aching and my vocal cords are black and blue

I’m gonna lie awake ‘til the sun comes up and not think about you

Wondering if you’re out there not thinking about me too

Jungkook tries to breathe deep, thinks, I’m always thinking about you, and it burns something deep in his chest.

Listen closely to my heart

It called for you in the dark

Tell me who you are and we’ll pretend like we can mend all of these broken parts

You can be the one to stitch my every scar

Let me show me all the world

Let me show you all the stars

He remembers a night, back when they’d first started dating, where they’d sat on the roof of Jungkook’s apartment at 2 in the morning, pointing out constellations and giggling when they made up their own.

“Stargazing makes me feel so small sometimes,” Jungkook had whispered.

Jimin’s hand had found his in the little space between them.

“I’ll show you all the stars. We can feel small together,” Jimin had murmered back, tangling their fingers, and something in Jungkook’s heart had said this is it. I’m yours.

He hadn’t considered that the moment might have meant just as much to Jimin, but apparently it did.

It just hasn’t been my day

Ever since you walked away

I should have known you were never gonna stay

I trusted you and all I got from it was pain

But maybe it will be better tomorrow

Jungkook thinks, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I promise I’m gonna try to fix it. God, he just hopes Jimin is willing to hear him out, even if he doesn’t forgive him. Jungkook just needs Jimin to know that he loves him.

I wrote a letter when you left me

Hands feeling kind of heavy

Breath coming out kind of unsteady

I thought I was getting over the hurt

After you left me lying in the dirt

After you struck a match and watched us burn

Jungkook doesn’t know when he started crying, just knows that his cheeks are wet and Tae is wrapping an arm around him, pulling him close, whispering that it’s okay.

The confirmation that Jimin misses him just as much as he misses Jimin somehow hurts more than it helps anything.

Jungkook feels so fucking guilty.

I wrote some words about you that you’ll never hear

Cried but I still tried to smile from ear to ear

I say love is the only thing I fear

I think love is the only thing I fear

It just hasn’t been my day

Ever since you walked away

And I wish that I had asked you to stay

Maybe it will be better tomorrow

The song finishes, and for a moment, everything is still.

Then, like it’s happening in slow motion, the crowd is cheering, pounding all around him, hands clapping and people yelling how much they love Jimin, but Jungkook can’t hear any of it.

He pushes his way through the crowd, faintly hears Taehyung calling after him but he doesn’t turn back. He keeps going, murmering apologies to the people he’s shoving past, and then he’s opening the door and rushing outside of the venue, collapsing against the wall, gasping for air.

A hand comes to his shoulder, warm and steadying, and Jungkook doesn’t look up. He knows who it is. Instead, he drops his head between his knees, takes deep breaths, counts up to ten and back again, until he feels calm enough to lift his head.

Taehyung is crouching next to him, face full of concern.

“You okay?” Tae asks, and Jungkook even doesn’t know where to begin with that.

“The song,” he starts. “He said he wished he’d asked me to stay.”

“Yes, he did.”

“He still loves me, right?” Jungkook hates the vulnerability, the hope in his voice.

“Yes, he does.”

“Fuck,” he laughs shakily, getting to his feet, stumbling slightly, head still a little hazy, and Tae follows him up, steadies him. “Am I really going to do this?”

Tae takes Jungkook’s face between his hands, makes sure their eyes are locked when he responds.

“Yes, you are. No more hiding, no more regrets. I fucking believe in you.”

Taehyung pulls him into a tight hug, and Jungkook sinks against him, grateful for the grounding presence of his best friend.

“Okay,” he sighs when they part. “You have the pass?”

Tae pulls a laminated staff lanyard out of his pocket (Jungkook has no idea how he obtained it but he’s not going to ask questions, and he hopes none of the actual staff members do either) and hands it to Jungkook, who slips it around his neck.

He can hear Jimin’s voice, ever commanding even outside the venue, perfectly belting out the last notes of a chorus, and Jungkook knows he’s going to start saying goodbye to the fans soon. There’s still two more songs after this, but Jimin only has a short break between now and the encore, so Jungkook can’t afford to waste another minute.

“I guess it’s time,” he says reluctantly, and Tae shoves at his shoulders.

“Now or never, buddy, you can do it.”

Jungkook takes one more deep breath, nodding to himself, before he opens the door marked STAFF ONLY and heads down seemingly endless corridors, flashing his pass at everyone he comes across, until he gets to the backstage area.

And then he waits.

______

God, Jimin just wants this night to be over.

He just finished the last song before the encore, and he’s waving to the fans, blowing kisses, walking off the stage, pretending like it’s the end even though they all know he’s going to go back out in a few minutes for more. He’s being pushed to his limit and it’s only the second night of tour.

Jimin rushes down the corridor once he gets backstage. He’s out of breath, his muscles are slightly sore, and he only has five minutes to get changed and rehydrated. He skids around the corner to the dressing area and immediately freezes.

His heart beats excitedly in his chest, says I know you, says I belong to you, and this can’t be right, because Jungkook ended things, Jungkook let him go, so why the hell is he here?

They stare at each other. Quiet, quiet.

Jimin is distantly aware that he absolutely does not have time for whatever this is about to be, that he now has about four minutes and twenty seconds to get changed and get back onstage.

Tick, tick, tick, a clock on the wall mocks him.

“Hi,” Jungkook says. A dam breaks.

I miss you, I miss you, I love you, I’m yours if you still want me.

He disregards his stupid, foolish heart, tries to make his voice cold and steady when he speaks.

“What are you doing here?”

Jungkook shifts and fidgets with his hands, actions Jimin’s come to learn mean that he’s nervous.

“You look exhausted,” Jungkook avoids the question, and Jimin almost scoffs.

I haven’t really been sleeping since you broke my heart.

“That’s not an answer,” he says instead.

“I wanted to see you,” Jungkook starts, but then corrects himself. “I needed to see you.”

“And why is that?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond. He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, looks like he’s trying to figure out what to say, and Jimin doesn’t have the patience for this.

“I can’t believe you,” Jimin mutters, and moves to brush past him.

“Wait!” A hand reaches towards his own. Panic, in Jungkook’s voice. He recognizes it.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Jimin says, stepping back quickly, throwing his arms up in confusion, in defeat. “We broke up, Jungkook. Our companies told us to stop seeing each other, and you agreed. You gave in. So why are you here, now, making everything even harder for me?”

He knows he sounds angry, knows he has every right to be, but all he really feels is sad. Deeply, overwhelmingly sad. Performing two more songs after this is the last thing he wants to do, he would rather go home and curl up on his couch with some hot chocolate and cry and cry and cry-

But.

“It’s hard for me too,” Jungkook whispers.

Maybe it shouldn’t be a shock, but it still sends a jolt through Jimin’s system, even as he wills himself to stand firm, battling against everything his heart says.

I miss you.

“You chose this,” Jimin reminds him heatedly instead. “I don’t know what‘s left to say. I cared about you so fucking much, Jungkook. I would have given everything for you, would have spit in Hwang Sanghoon’s face and walked out of that meeting with your hand in mine, but you chose this.”

Jungkook looks helpless, looks like a knife is twisting into his chest with each word, and Jimin almost wavers.

I miss you.

It stays silent between them. Jimin still has to change, goddammit. He shakes his head, moves past Jungkook. Trembling fingers wrap around his wrist. Gentle, gentle.

“The new song.” (He barely hears Jungkook over his pounding heart.) “It’s really beautiful. I love it.”

I love you.

He tugs his wrist away, but turns to face the younger anyway.

“Please don’t go,” Jungkook begs then, voice rough, barely above a whisper.

“Why would I stay?” Jimin asks, and shit, when did he start crying? “You broke my heart, Jungkook.”

“I know, I know.” The knife, Jimin pushing it further into Jungkook’s chest. He sounds just as shattered as Jimin feels. “I didn’t mean to.”

“But you did,” Jimin wipes at his tears, shrugs, like it’s that simple. Like everything in him isn’t screaming to reach out, to touch, to pull Jungkook close and whisper forgiveness and love and all the silly little things his heart yearns for.

I‘m yours if you still want me.

“So let me fix it,” Jungkook pleads, and Jimin can’t do this, not now.

“I don’t have time for this, Jungkook, I’m supposed to be going back out there already, they’re all waiting for me, and because of you, I’m going to look like a goddamn mess. I mean, honestly,” he lets out a humorless laugh. “First you break my heart, now you’re ruining my show. Just say you hate me and let me move on. We’re done, Jungkook.”

He says it with finality. Buries the knife deep in Jungkook’s chest. Tries to compose himself as he turns to the dressing room, knows his manager is going to have his ass for being so late for the encore. He’s pretty sure they’ve looped the last VCR twice by now.

Tick, tick, tick, taunts the clock on the wall.

His hand is on the doorknob when Jungkook’s voice echoes down the hallway, clear and sure.

“What if I said I love you instead?”

Time stops.

He can’t hear the clock that’s been mocking him, the chanting fans, the lights buzzing overhead. He can’t even hear his own heart anymore. It all fades away.

When Jimin slowly turns to face Jungkook, he’s already in front of him. When did that happen, he wonders, blinking at the closeness.

He has to remind himself to breathe, and when he does… He still smells the same, Jimin thinks distractedly, apple and cinnamon, just like he tastes.

“You- what?” he eventually stammers faintly. He couldn’t have heard that right.

“I love you,” Jungkook repeats, zero hesitance, zero uncertainty in the way the words leave his mouth.

It washes over Jimin in a daze, like he’s breathing underwater, like he’s dreaming awake.

“What?” he says again, only this time it’s because he wants to hear those words a million and one times. A smile plays at the corner of Jungkook’s lips.

“I’m in love with you, Jimin.”

How is he supposed to stay cold and unwavering when Jungkook says those words? How is he supposed to keep his walls up when Jungkook is right there looking at him so fond, the entire night sky in his eyes, laying all his cards out for Jimin to see?

“What are you saying?” he asks, to clarify, to make sure he’s understanding this right.

“I’m saying I want to be with you, properly this time,” Jungkook says quietly. “I want to go on dates with you, I want to hold your hand in public, post goofy pictures of us on twitter, kiss you in the grocery store, all of the stuff that we couldn’t have before.”

Jungkook reaches out, touches the back of Jimin’s hand, a silent question. Jimin slips their fingers together without even thinking.

“I know I messed up,” Jungkook continues. “I was a coward and I should have fought for us. And I know I might be too late, but I’m fighting now, because what we have is worth saving. I don’t want to hide, not anymore. If that means we get dropped from our companies, then fuck them. You mean more to me than any of that. I just want you, and I want to be yours, and I want everyone to know that we belong to each other.”

When Jungkook finishes his little speech, Jimin is honestly too stunned to say anything. He just stares at the wonder in front of him. The eyes that hold the universe, shining just for Jimin.

“I love you,” Jungkook tell him again when Jimin doesn’t respond.

Those words, more than anything, bring him back to himsef.

“Say it again,” he requests.

Jungkook rests his free hand on Jimin’s waist without a second thought.

“I love you.”

He curls his fingers in the front of Jungkook’s shirt.

“Again.”

“I thought you had somewhere to be?” Jungkook teases, and oh. Right. His concert.

“Shit,” he says, and Jungkook laughs, fond, fond, fond. “Shit, I’m going to be in so much trouble. This is all your fault.”

“Ah, yes, I’m so sorry for telling you I love you,” Jungkook says solemnly.

“You should be,” Jimin sniffs. “By the way, that was some speech you gave. Award worthy.”

“Really?” Jungkook grins. “I practiced it like a hundred times in Namjoon’s car on the way here.”

Jimin can’t help but laugh, both impressed and endeared by Jungkook’s effort to show Jimin how much he means to him.

“Cute,” he says, and god, he’d missedthis.

It was always so easy between them, to slip into the banter, the playful remarks and soft smiles and gentle touches.

“You have to go,” Jungkook reminds hin, even as he steps closer. “We can talk more later, I promise, but you have to finish your show.”

“You’re right,” Jimin sighs. “Before I Ieave, though…”

It lingers in the air between them, the weight of the moment.

Screw it.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

And something wonderful blooms.

Everything still, time frozen just for them.

Tick, tick, tick, but it doesn’t mean anything anymore.

“You love me?” Jungkook says, disbelief coloring his voice, and Jimin smiles.

“I love you.”

“Oh, thank god, otherwise this would have been really awkward,” Jungkook murmers, making Jimin laugh, so unbearably fond.

He lets Jungkook tug him even closer, feels his heart finally rest content in his chest.

Their lips brush, a sweet, barely there touch.

I belong to you.

“I belong to you.”

A bright smile spreads across Jungkook’s features, pure happiness, and Jimin feels it reflected on his own face.

“I belong to you, too,” Jungkook whispers, kisses him deep and slow, steals the air from his lungs and breathes it back into him.

It should be enough.

It is.

______

When the concert has finally ended, he finds Jungkook again. This time, they grin like idiots in love, tangle their fingers together, and huddle close as the post-show fireworks light up the night.

“They’re so pretty,” Jungkook says, staring up at the sky, but Jimin is staring at Jungkook, watching the fireworks light him up red and gold and green and pink, bursts of color painting his skin. He watches this boy who gave his heart a home, this boy he wants to hold onto forever, and he almost can’t believe they’ve ended up here, next to each other under the same sky. Magic.

“Yeah,” Jimin says, quiet. “So pretty.”

There’s still things to talk about, Jimin knows, things he needs to understand and forgive Jungkook for so he can fully trust him again, so they can be better this time around. Things they need to agree on if they’re going to make this relationship work.

But for now, Jimin is happy just watching. Flecks of copper in Jungkook’s hair, flashes of blue and purple dancing in his galaxy eyes, and he’s so beautiful Jimin can’t look away, never wants to look away again, wants to soak up every precious moment, because this moment, this moment—

And then Jungkook leans down until his lips are brushing Jimin’s ear.

“I love you, Park Jimin,” Jungkook tells him almost reverently, then pulls back to meet his gaze, smile sweet on his lips, stars in his eyes.

—this moment is shining.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook,” Jimin says back, easy, easy.

They kiss beneath the watercolored sky, and it feels like a promise.

I belong to you. I’m yours. Always.

______

a/n: soooo yeah! theres that! also yes i did in fact write the song that jimin sings about jk that’s why it’s trash fjskfjkss anyway the continuation of this is on ao3, it’s basically 2.7k words of smut but there’s a teeny tiny bit of plot at the end so idk fjskjfks anywayhere’s the link to that if anyone wants to read it, go nuts i guess. let me know what you guys thought of their reunion!! thanks for reading, see you in two weeks