#tahoumaru
Forest of Fireflies
Fandom:Dororo
Word count:1993
Rating:T
Summary: Tahomaru had always yearned for a brother. To think, all this time, his parents had kept from him the fact that he once had a brother. A what-if scenario in which Tahomaru and Hyakkimaru live as brothers.
Note: This is a piece I wrote for @dororofanzine
Read on AO3.
~*~*~*~*~
Of all the things his parents kept from him, Tahoumaru never thought it would be a brother. One year older than him, a little taller, a little paler, with doll-like features that gave away his abnormal nature. Yet despite the lack of limbs and sight, Hyakkimaru had moved so swiftly, his limbs so agile as he’d fought the monster in the lake. The careful plan Tahoumaru had laid out had not been enough. Hyogo would not have survived had Hyakkimaru not leaped off the shore and slashed the monster’s back, rendering it lifeless in one blow.
“Brother…”
The word rolled off his tongue in a soft murmur. Foreign yet familiar, as though he had whispered it countless times between dream and reality. His right eye smarted—a reminder of the gash Hyakkimaru had inflicted upon him. To think the brother he’d yearned for wound up being the person he had to kill. Like a mocking to the turmoil in his heart, the pond before him lay still. Tahoumaru tossed the pebble in his hand, sending the water rippling in his wake.
***
“There you are!”
Tahoumaru looked up to see his brother in the darkness, out of breath, with concern lining his features. He blinked, eyes widening in surprise. But before he could ask why Hyakkimaru was there, his brother had already rushed to his side and asked if he was alright. Tahoumaru hadbeen alright. At least, until that moment.
“Why are you here?” he demanded.
“The page feared you might’ve gotten lost.”
“The page?” Of course. Whom else could Brother have heard about his excursion from? Even though Tahoumaru had made him swear not to breathe a word of it.
Father was away, Mother was busy preparing her birthday celebration, and Brother… He should’ve been cooped up in his study. It had been the perfect chance to sneak out, so he’d gone to the page and asked where the rare fireflies lived. Had everything gone according to his plan, he could’ve snuck back inside with none the wiser. But there Hyakkimaru now stood in front of him, mouth pulled into a frown and arms folded over his chest.
“You left a little before noon and now the sun has set and you’re still not back. Who wouldn’t have been worried? Good thing the page told me instead of Mother.”
It was an instinctive response—the way Tahoumaru whipped his head, eyes flying wide in horror at the thought that his mother knew what he was doing. “Did you tell her anything?”
“No, I told her you’d gone to bed earl—”
Relief washed over him like a tidal wave. His shoulders dropped, the tension leaving him as his sigh filled the air. But that display only sparked Hyakkimaru’s curiosity. Across from him, his brother tilted his head to the side.
“Is it something Mother shouldn’t know?”
It wasn’t. Not yet, at least.
For a fraction of a second, Tahoumaru met his brother’s eyes, dark brown in the night. The curiosity was genuine, at the quirk of his brows and his wide-open eyes. But his brother couldn’t know where he was going or what he was planning. This was supposed to be his gift. From him. Not his brother. Tahoumaru broke eye contact, turned around, and continued on his way.
He felt the scowl almost immediately, heard the exasperated sigh. “Tahoumaru,” his brother called, soft. “Tahoumaru, wait!” A moment later, dry summer grass crunched beneath soft footfalls. Tahoumaru tried not to think of the presence following from behind.
The forest was dark. Could he lose his brother somehow? Around that bend or under that ditch. He doubted it, not when Hyakkimaru possessed such a keen sense. How else could his brother have found him so quickly?
“Tahoumaru!” Brother was persistent. Tahoumaru quickened his pace. “Would you mind telling me where we’re going at least?”
Of course not. He would not so easily divulge his plans. He ducked beneath a low-lying branch and trudged on.
“The page said something about fireflies.” Hyakkimaru tried again. Tahoumaru had half-expected that, but his teeth still gritted at the thought. “Aren’t there fireflies near the castle?”
There were, but the ones Tahoumaru sought were the rare type living deep in the mountain. Ones that would glow bright gold in the night, like little lanterns bobbing in the air. They said one of those would be enough to light an entire room.
“Tahoumaru.”
“Just go. I can take care of myself.”
Hyakkimaru’s gaze pierced his back, but Tahoumaru kept his eyes on the path in front of him. He hoped his brother would take his advice. Leave him alone and wait at the castle. He would show his brother that he could return safely to the castle, that Hyakkimaru’s worry hadn’t been warranted.
In the quiet, faint sounds of gurgling water drifted in from the distance, growing louder with each step. Tahoumaru paused, ears pricked. Up the mountain where the water flowed clear and fresh—that was where the rare fireflies dwelled according to the page. When Hyakkimaru joined his side and asked what was wrong, he looked at his brother and grinned.
“We’re here!”
In his excitement, Tahoumaru didn’t hear his brother’s warning. The sleeves of his red robe missed Hyakkimaru’s clutch by several inches as he rushed up the last stretch of the incline. At the top, the line of trees broke away and revealed the vast blue-black sky sprinkled with starlight.
“Tahoumaru, wait!”
The cry came too late. Tahoumaru reached the crest and slipped.
It was more of a steep incline than a cliff, not exactly high, but tumbling down the rocky face with nothing—no ditch or little dips or even a stray tree root—to hold on to was enough to drive the air out of his lungs when Tahoumaru landed hard on his back. From somewhere up ahead, Hyakkimaru called, a distressed cry that told Tahoumaru not to move. Tahoumaru grunted in response. Every part of his body hurt, the back of his head pounded in a pulsing ache. Tahoumaru pried open his eyes only to see his vision swim. He shut them again, cursing under his breath.
“Tahoumaru!” The call came again from somewhere behind. Rocks and pebbles cascaded down the slope as Hyakkimaru slid down, landing with a thud on the ground below. It took no time for him to reach Tahoumaru’s side and crouch down. “Are you alright? Anything hurt?”
“Just dizzy. I think I bumped my head.”
An incomprehensible mumble, but his brother somehow understood. Warm fingers parted his hair, pressing gently on his scalp. When they brushed against a tender bump at the back of his skull, Tahoumaru yelped.
“Nothing bleeding, at least,” Hyakkimaru said. “What about your arms? Legs?”
Tahoumaru tested them. His fingers moved, then his toes, slowly bending his arms at the elbows, then lifting them on the shoulders. A dull pain when he moved his left shoulder, but nothing too serious. Only a bruise, Hyakkimaru said after inspecting it. A nasty one that would last a few weeks. What followed was silence, then a long exhale of a sigh. Tahoumaru winced, bracing himself for the scolding—
“Thank the Gods you’re alright.”
The relief pouring out of his brother’s quiet voice was so thick and palpable, Tahoumaru had trouble finding the words to respond. He pried open his eyes again and when he found that his vision had steadied, he spotted Hyakkimaru hanging his head beside him, his face split into a relieved smile.
“Why?”
He hadn’t meant to voice it aloud. An internal question he had wanted to ask himself. But it was already out, and Hyakkimaru lifted his face to look at him.
“Why what?”
“Why do you worry so much?”
The tilt of his head and his furrowing brows accented Hyakkimaru’s bewilderment. “Is it wrong of me to worry about my brother?”
It was such a quick and simple answer, with not a pause or a stammer, sincere. He waited for the jest, or the teasing remark, but those deep brown eyes remained earnest. Heat crept up Tahoumaru’s face, and he looked away. It was then that the snort came—a hearty chuckle that shook his brother’s shoulders.
“What’s gotten you so bashful?”
Tahoumaru gave a soft, amused scoff, even as his cheeks burned. He didn’t know either.
Once the dizzy spell was fully gone, Hyakkimaru helped him sit up, carefully avoiding any sudden movements that would induce any more dizziness or pain on his arm. Tahoumaru murmured a thank you, massaging the sore spot on his head as he took in their surroundings. A sandy riverbank that hugged a fresh-flowing stream. The thought of whether they’d reached the right place had just entered his mind when a single golden light caught his attention.
“Tahoumaru, look!”
His brother spotted it at the same time he did—a firefly rising from the tall grass around them. One, two, three… Their numbers multiplied exponentially in the blink of an eye. They glowed yellow and gold, turning the night as bright as day.
Swiftly and carefully, Tahoumaru caught the little bug between his hands. Light shone from between his fingers. As Hyakkimaru drew close, Tahoumaru uncovered his hands to show the single firefly, its light blinking from its bulb.
“I wanted to catch one for Mother,” Tahoumaru admitted. “I wanted to give one for her birthday.”
Beside him, Hyakkimaru nodded. “She’ll love it.”
She would. Tahoumaru could picture the bright smile she would have when the firefly lit up her party. He pursed his lips. “I didn’t want you to know.”
Another crook of Hyakkimaru’s brow as his brother gave him an inquiring glance.
“Because Mother loves you best,” he went on, “and I guess, I wanted to win her affection. For once.”
What met his quiet admission was not indignation as he’d expected, but a bemusement, so deep that it left Tahoumaru feeling mortified at his own words. But it was true, despite what everyone said. Every time Brother was with her, Mother always smiled brighter, her laugh ringing louder, but whenever Tahoumaru did something more spectacular, he rarely saw her break into that radiant beam. Maybe, with this gift, his mother would smile at him.
“Mother loves you. You know that, right?”
He knew, but sometimes, he wondered if he really did.
“I’ll never steal her away from you.“
A lump formed at the back of his throat. The firefly fluttered its wings, its glow warm and reassuring. As if trying to say, you’ll be alright. It flew out of his grasp, joining its friends in their dance with the wind.
Hyakkimaru rose to his feet and held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s get you some of those fireflies.”
Tahoumaru met that ever open, ever inviting gaze. His brother was always here, always ready to lend a hand. Tahoumaru found himself nodding, his face breaking into a slow grin. He grabbed Hyakkimaru’s hand and let his brother help him to his feet.
Around the stream, the fireflies bobbed in the air, their lights blinking in and out in alternate turns. Like their own personal sea of golden stars, guiding their way home.
***
Smoke coated the air, the fumes suffocating him. Tahoumaru blinked open his eyes at the sight of his burning home. Pain, dark and searing, spread from the back of his head. From the moment he gouged the demon’s eyes from their sockets, a pulsing ache had split his skull in two. From somewhere in the fire, someone screamed, raw and feral. It cut right through his heart.
Brother.
The figure doubled over, so far beyond the mawing gap on the floor. So far… that Tahoumaru couldn’t reach him.
Brother!
Hyakkimaru held onto his eyes, screeching. He looked so small in that tattered robe, his long jet-black hair framing his face. The wooden beams above him cracked. Tahoumaru moved.
“Bro… ther…”
His vision swam. His knees buckled. Tahoumaru fell face-first onto the wooden floor stained with blood.
Go… Brother…
~ END ~
