#tennantdoctor x reader
Disillusioned (Tenth Doctor x reader)
Synopsis: You’ve reunited with the Doctor after a long time apart, and his new companion reminds you a little too much of your old self.
Content Warning: Injury, severe burns
DOCTOR WHO MASTERLIST|GENERAL MASTERLIST
“She must be utterly heartbroken,” you remarked delightedly, elbowing the Doctor in the ribs as you regarded his companion snidely. She was eager, far too eager for just a casual friend, and all too similar to how you had been.
“Stop it,” he warned, glancing over the top of his glasses from where he was fiddling with some mechanics. As you continued to marvel at the chaos around you, the Doctor rolled his eyes and groaned. “Are you going to help or just continue to stand there?”
“Ah, well, I thought I might just continue to notice the puppy-dog eyes your companion keeps giving you. It must be soul-destroying, knowing that you’re still hung up on Rose.” You held back a bitter laugh, turning to face the fried circuitry. Frayed copper wires poked out of the grate, and you hissed as a spark landed on your skin, marvelling at how quickly the red mark disappeared.
“Don’t mention her name. And at least she can love,” he murmured, pulling on a blue-cased wire with a triumphant aha! “This should disable the central neural network. If we reroute the power to the-”
“Seal on the doors, we can permanently deadlock all the exits and therefore the entrances so they can’t get in. I’m not stupid, Doctor.” You protested, trying to create a spark to hotwire the energy router so that the Doctor could carry out the complex plan he undoubtedly had. “Also, ouch, harsh. I don’t need to love; enough people love me that it makes up for it.”
“I know.” He peered over the top of his glasses at his wire, barely paying attention to his surrounding. You had expected more amusement, but you weren’t surprised that he was finally sick of you. It had been a long time coming. “You’ve made that abundantly clear in the past.”
You scoffed. Sure, Doc, take the moral high ground here. You’d been there at that intergalactic brothel a couple hundred years ago and, boy, did he go wild.
“Behave.” He warned, as if he knew what was going on in your head. To be honest, you wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow did. Time Lord magic or whatever.
You hissed as the energy coursed through the wires, glowing white hot as you held them tightly together. They seared into your skin, marking a path as they burned brightly in your grip.
“I’ve got power!” The Doctor cheered and his companion joined in, rushing over to see what he was fiddling with. He had power.
“Oh, wow, Doctor, you’re so clever!” She gushed and you couldn’t hold back from rolling your eyes. It made you sick to even listen to. Where was your inundation of praise?
“Right, so I’m going to link these two bits, and then just this needs doing,” he sonic-ed it with his screwdriver, “and then, Y/N, you’re going to have to whack that big button on the wall.”
You stared at him in disbelief. “Why can’t she do it?”
“Because if Martha gets shot, she’ll actually get hurt. If you get shot, you’ll just complain.” He was unbelievably patronising, and you huffed bitterly. When you didn’t move, he actually turned to look at you for the first time and raised an eyebrow. “Why aren’t you going?
He really hadn’t noticed. God, he was losing his touch. You gritted your teeth as your vision began to grow fuzzy at the edges, trying your hardest to blink away the dancing black spots. “Because if I leave to press the button, you’ll lose all power. And, extra special bonus, if you don’t fucking hurry up, I am going to pass out.”
The Doctor sniffed the air, catching the scent of burning flesh, and glanced at your hands. His eyes widened as they found the source of the smell.
“What are you doing?”
“Saving us. Now hurry the fuck up!”
“Martha, you need to do it.”
His companion jumped up, ready to obey his every order. As the Doctor turned away, you let a nostalgic smile flicker across your face. Once, you had been so naïve and hopeful, and the world had shown you its true colours.
She smacked the button and doors slid shut, sealing with a heavy pop. As angry faces in helmets appeared at the porthole, your vision swam to and fro. You gagged silently, bile rising to the back of your throat as your muscles finally forced you to release and slip quietly to the floor.
And he didn’t even notice.
-
there will be a part 2
-
dw masterlist: @underratedhotties
tenth doctor taglist: @kjaneway1@tarorootboba@alexxavicry@sherazyjade
Synopsis: The Doctor finds the last of your possessions (unofficial prequel to disillusioned)
The Doctor reached his hand up, patting the surface beside his toolbox as he glowered at the mess of wires. If he didn’t know that the TARDIS was very much on his side, he would say that she had deliberately sabotaged herself.
Huh.
His finger closed around something large. Pages. A book? Proper 21st century Earth fake leather, judging by the feel of it. He definitely didn’t have one of those just lying around.
He hauled himself up to the platform, avoiding the various tools he had left scattered around. The hammer-wrench (hanch? wrammer?) had seemed like a great idea initially, but broke awfully often for something welded together with such precision and he was starting to think that the TARDIS was deliberately damaging it to keep it away from her. Right. The book.
Flicking the pages, the soft scent of faded perfume and well-worn pages drifted up. Oh. It was yours. But you were gone and all that was left of you was your book. The familiar scrawl of your handwriting crammed the pages with dreams and hopes maybe. Dreams and hopes he had totally destroyed.
A gentle waft of cool air from the TARDIS vents flipped the pages, and as they settled, the Doctor’s eyes focused on your words. He knew it was wrong. An invasion of your privacy. But it wasn’t as if he would see you again.
Dear Diary,
I really fucking like him. I like being close to him, fuck, I look at him and just feel so attracted to him. And it’s not just that. I love talking to him, we get on well, always have something to say (maybe because I agree to everything?)
A bitter, unfamiliar taste poisoned his mouth as he twisted his lips into a grimace. Who did you like?
He turned the page.
Dear Diary,
I don’t know if I can do this. I really like him. But I know I’ll always come second to Rose. Oh. He blinked. The Doctor won’t talk about her anymore and I know she’s gone so it’s not fair that I’m getting jealous and disliking her. But I just want to be someone’s first choice. I don’t want to compete for his attention with a ghost, and know that of course he prefers her. It’s Rose fucking Tyler!
I think what’s so disheartening is the idea that you’ll never be enough. You. Singular. Aren’t. Enough. For. Them. But I knew what I was signing up for – it’s my own stupid fault for getting attached (I’ll never compare to her).
But you were enough. And more. He had driven you away, but…
It was for the better. This way you couldn’t get hurt or die, you could settle down, have a nice family, and have a fulfilling life on Earth. It wasn’t as if he was constantly turning around to explain something to you, or to watch the awe creeping onto your face. And then remembering that you were gone.
It had been nice to see it all through someone else’s eyes again.
He turned the page again. It was like a torturous compulsion, he needed to know what you had said.
Dear Diary,
I didn’t know love hurt. No. That’s stupid to say. It’s not love. But God it’s the closest I’ve ever been to it.
The book shut with a snap, and he threaded the clasp shut again. The TARDIS hummed and he laughed. He laughed because that was the only thing he could do.
He leant his head back against the console. “I’ve been really stupid, haven’t I?”
The TARDIS hummed, glowing brighter in affirmation.
“But I can’t go back for her. She’s safer without me.”
-
dw masterlist: @underratedhotties @mxacegrey
tenth doctor taglist: @kjaneway1@tarorootboba@alexxavicry@sherazyjade @itevilhag@thedocsorder@0witchtrials0@mystic-writings@wewaitinthatspace@Sylumarts@merrychristmooose@nyxrae@lightgirl19@iloveangstposts@Diego42@actual-trash-goblin@gurkiloni
